Three and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Get this: according to the new movie The Wolfman, there’s a fine line between “human” and “animal.” There might even be something of a savage beast lurking under the surface of a person who looks very human on the outside!

You’ve never seen a movie or a TV show with that theme before, have you?

I shouldn’t mock. These are classic themes, right? Even if we’ve seen them all before (a lot), they’re worth hearing again. And The Wolfman, and werewolf stories in general, are certainly classic tales.

But I gotta say, after 800,000 variations on the werewolf story, it kinda woulda been nice if they’d had something new to say. Something about “alpha” males, perhaps?

In fairness, the movie is clearly making an attempt to go the “traditional” route, making something reminiscent of the original 1941 classic, The Wolf Man. It plays things far more seriously than Universal’s The Mummy remake.

And for the most part, the atmosphere works. Since the aforementioned thin-line-between-humans-and-animals theme is such a large part of the story, they do a great job of showing how, in 19th century England, human beings and animals exist side-by-side: there are dogs, horses, mounted animals on walls, hedges in the shapes of animals, the occasional gypsy bear, even lots of animal furs mixed in with the costumes.

This lurking “animal” presence, and lots of carriages rattling through the fog on moonlit moors, are part of what I pay for when I go to a movie called The Wolfman, and this one definitely delivers in that respect.

Everyone is all tortured and the look is very gothic, and let’s face it: there’s not nearly enough of that in movies today.

Likewise, the movie starts off telling basically the same story as the original, but then takes an interesting twist halfway through (playing on the expectations of those familiar with the first movie). It’s such an obvious twist that, in retrospect, you kind of wonder why they didn’t include it in the original. And the fact that it is so obvious, and yet still genuinely surprising, makes me think the movie got at least this right.

There’s also a great scene where, after the main character has been committed to an asylum “because he thinks he’s a werewolf,” a group of psychologists gather to watch him under a full moon. It’s all part of his treatment: when the moon comes out and he doesn’t transform, he’ll know it’s all in his mind.

Alas, it’s not all in his mind, but he’s soon to be in their minds — as in, ripping their heads open.

But it must be said: despite what you’d think, Benicio Del Toro makes a surprisingly wooden leading man. Co-stars Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, and Hugo Weaving all fare much better, so you know it’s not just the writing. In fact, not since Keanu Reeves in Bram Stoker’s Dracula have I seen such a bad central performance in a monster movie.

The producers made the bold choice to use make-up and prosthetics rather than CGI effects on the wolfman (apart from the transformation). I applaud them for taking the risk, but it also must be said: in an era of omnipresent CGI, it looked like make-up.

Really, really good make-up, but make-up. The howl is oddly flat too.

Interestingly, the coolest effect in the whole movie probably was done with CGI: when the wolfman switches between a “human” run and a wolf-like gallop.

The Wolfman is not nearly the disaster that a lot of other critics seem to think it is. But in five years, no one will remember a single thing about it.

• The new season of Lost is alive and kicking, and gearing up for its big series finale this spring. In honor of the end to this six-year cultural phenomenon, take a look at these four videos. (Warning: one of the videos is mildly spoilerish.)

• Captain America is probably the superhero movie that I’m the least excited about (I’m an X-men guy myself), but this article has pretty much all the information you could ask for right now. And, okay, I’ll admit it … I am kind of salivating over the way Marvel is going to weave all these movies together into the upcoming Avengers film.

• Speaking of superhero movies, Tim Robbins has just been cast in The Green Lantern as the father to Peter Sarsgaard’s villainous Hector Hammond.

• Can good directors save bad movies? Cinematical takes a look at a few tepid franchises that are about to get a makeover from reputable directors.

• It may or may not be “the next Harry Potter,” but The Lighting Thief looks like it has the potential to be a pretty awesome film. At the helm is Chris Columbus (who also directed the first two Potter films), and he talks about the new film here.

• There’s been talk about Ghostbusters 3 for ages, and while I’m sure it will be made, I’m starting to doubt if it will be any good. At any rate, there’s a decent amount of information about the story here, but who’s to say if this will change before cameras start rolling.

• Chris Nolan made history when he rebooted the dead-in-the-water Batman franchise, and now he may do it again … for Superman?

• Whoa! Real-life Avatar.

• Did you know that in the upcoming The Wolfman, Benicio del Toro is actually reprising a role he played years earlier?

• Those of you out there as nerdy as I am will be excited by the new comic series Kill Shakespeare, called an “epic adventure that pits Shakespeare’s greatest heroes against his most frightening villains.”

• After Terminator: Salvation (which I actually thought was a good movie), many thought the franchise was dead in the water. However, that didn’t stop a bunch of people from bidding on the rights, with a hedge fund leaving victorious. Wait, what?

• Finally, here’s a pretty cool video compilation of one of the most over-used horror cliches in movies: the mirror scare. (Cliche, sure, but I’m still scared to open and close the mirror cabinet when I’m alone in my apartment.)

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2010 is shaping up to be an exciting year for fantasy fans. There are at least 15 films slated for release this year, and we’ve got a full preview!

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief
Release date: Feb. 12
Based on the best-selling series by Rick Riordan, Lightning Thief tells the story of Percy Jackson, an American teenager afflicted with ADHD and dyslexia, who discovers on a school field trip that he is the son of Poseidon. (You know, the god of sea and earthquakes. The angriest of the Big Three.) Percy’s mission is to find Zeus’ stolen lightning bolt and prevent a civil war from breaking out among the gods — who, by the way, have moved Olympus from the mythical mountain to the mythical 600th floor of The Empire State Building. Percy also has to rescue his mother from the Underworld, and — presumably — wrestle with the tourists that swarm The Empire State building every Valentine’s Day.

The Wolfman
Release date: Feb. 12
The Wolfman has a long, proud history of scarring the crap out of anyone willing to leave home on the night when the wolfbane blooms. The film has been remade five times since its 1924 debut, and each time it falls firmly in the “horror” category. In this incarnation, Oscar winners Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins team up as Lawrence Talbot and Sir John Talbot, a haunted father and son team searching for their missing brother/son. Lawrence finds himself falling in love with his brother’s fiance, and then falling under the spell of the full moon. We’re holding out hope for a special guest appearance by Michael J. Fox, surfing by the sleepy Victorian hamlet of Blackmoor on top of a van.

Alice in Wonderland
Release date: Mar. 5
In Tim Burton’s vividly re-imagined Alice in Wonderland, Alice falls down the rabbit hole at the age of 19. She doesn’t remember ever having been to Wonderland before, but you can bet your shrinking potion that Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen remembers her. Alice reunites with the White Rabbit, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Dormouse, the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, and of course, the Mad Hatter. (Played by Michael Sheen, Matt Lucas, Barbara Windsor, Alan Rickman, Stephen Fry and Johnny Depp, respectively.) The teaser trailer promised stunning visuals and the second trailer actually hinted at an engaging plot. Disney will be offering the film in their patented Digital 3D, just in case you missed out on attending a rave when you were in college.

Season of the Witch
Release Date: Mar. 19
Nicholas Cage plays a battle-worn and weary Crusader who returns to Europe for supplies, only to find himself recruited by a dying Cardinal. His mission is to escort a young woman to a remote abbey where she will stand trial for being a witch. Only this peasant is not your run of the mill Salem sorcerer; no, this witch is responsible for The Black Plague. Can Cage decode the map on the back of the Magna Carta in time to discover the secret message on the inside of King Arthur’s chalice in time to unlock the sacred chisel with which he must carve the answers to the world’s toughest Sudoku? And can he do it in time to save the entire continent from death? Oh, these are the Dark Ages indeed!

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
Release date: Mar. 25
As the star, screenwriter and producer of this sequel, Emma Thompson has made Nanny McPhee her pet project. The film’s official description reads “A group of children are evacuated from the city to a farm during wartime, where they encounter Nanny McPhee, the magic-wielding governess.” So, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe meets Mary Poppins. Unfortunately, Thompson was so preoccupied with the role, that she couldn’t find time to return as Professor Trelawney in the final installment of Harry Potter. It’s a hard pill to swallow considering that Ralph Fiennes (Lord Voldemort himself) is headlining Thompson’s Big Bang.

Clash of the Titans
Release date: Mar. 26
Another remake of a beloved fantasy classic, Clash of the Titans follows Perseus (born of a god, raised by a man) as he risks his life for the right to marry Princess Andromeda. He must battle Medusa and the Kraken monster as he follows his quest to forbidden worlds to defeat Hades (Ralph Fiennes) before the King of the Underworld can unseat Zeus (Liam Neeson). We don’t mind the remakes, as long as Clash of the Titans doesn’t fall victim to Hollywood’s latest fantasy craze: refusing to properly conclude a story, just in case the studio decides to fund a sequel. The only respectable exception would be the appearance of Kinopio Toad: “We’re sorry Perseus, but your Princess is in another castle.”

The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Release date: May 7
Poor Peter and Susan Pevensie, kicked out of Narnia for learning to shave and discovering makeup. But Edward and Lucy, played by Skandar Keynes and Georgie Henley (arguably the more talented of the four child stars who relaunched The Chronicles of Narnia) are back, and they’re bringing Prince Caspian with them. Unfortunately, they’re also bringing Narnia’s own Cousin Oliver, Eustace Clarence Scrubb. (We’re counting on Reepicheep to drown him out. Or just drown him.) Dawn Treader will follow the plot of C.S. Lewis’ original story: The younger Pevensies join forces with Caspian as he sails to the edge of the world, battling dufflepuds, slave traders, dragons, merfolk, and plenty of Christian symbolism along the way.

Iron Man 2
Release date: May 7
Robert Downey Jr’s celebrated Tony Stark is back in the second part of the Iron Man trilogy. This time, the whole world knows that the industrialist inventor is the man in the armored suit. The military, the American government and the media are all pushing him to share his technology with the world, but Stark knows enough about humanity to realize it’s a terrible idea. Don Cheadle will be taking over for Terrance Howard as James “Rhodey” Rhodes. And Gwyneth Paltrow will return as Pepper Potts. Unfortunately Pepper drives Stark to the brink of alcoholism when she gets a new boyfriend. Apparently even bazillionaires need a reminder that you shouldn’t operate heavy machinery while under the influence.

Robin Hood
Release date: May 14
When Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood hits theaters, it will be the tenth time the story has been adapted for the big screen. This incarnation follows the more traditional version of the story: Robin of Loxley, Earl of Huntington, returns to London after fighting in the Crusades to find that his village has been plundered at the hands of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Matthew Macfadyen). So, Robin forms a group of rough and tumble Merry Men to steal back their money and their land, and win the heart of Maid Marian (Cate Blanchett). Of course, the real question is whether or not the soundtrack can hope to compete with Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” from 1991’s Prince of Thieves. We’re guessing probably not.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Release date: May 28
A movie based on a video game? Why not; it worked for Angelina Jolie! In Prince of Persia, Jake Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, an Aladdin-like street-urchin in Medieval Persia. After showing unique valor in battle, the King adopts Dastan and sends him off to reclaim the Sands of Time (a gift from the gods that, um, controls the sands of time). Prince of Persia is the fourth Disney/Bruckheimer collaboration, and if the team’s other films (all three Pirates of the Caribbean) are any indication, it should enjoy plenty of mainstream success. And cross-promotion with Happy Meals. And Legos. And graphic novels. And, of course, another video game.

Jonah Hex
Release date: June 18
D.C. is auctioning off its lesser-known heroes right and left these days. Jonah Hex is a caustic, curmudgeonly, former Confederate States Army soldier whose face is scarred almost beyond recognition. He’s got all of the swagger of Clint Eastwood, without any of the charm. Josh Brolin stars as Hex in the movie adaptation, along with John Malkovich as Quentin Turnbull (the bad guy), and Megan Fox as a trigger-happy prostitute. Er, trigger-happy with the guns. Actual guns. Revolvers. Turnbull’s plan is a Civil War do-over, and Hex has been hired as the bounty hunter who must shut him down. The plot sounds almost as plausible as Malkovich with a southern accent. We totally buy Megan Fox’s role, though.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Release date: June 30
We haven’t really heard much about this movie. It’s apparently some kind of adaptation of a vampire romance novel. There may have been some movies before this one, but they must have flopped at the box office. From what we’ve heard, there’s a vampire with some wicked crazy hair, and a werewolf who refuses to wear a shirt, and a helpless girl who sits in her room listening to emo music and writing fan fiction about herself. We also heard something about sparkles and middle-aged women wearing t-shirts to support either the wicked hair or the abs. If any other information becomes available, we’ll let you know. This thing will probably go straight to DVD, though.

The Last Airbender
Release date: July 2
M. Night Shyamalan directing a Nickelodeon movie? Who’d have guessed it? (Us, actually. M. Night Shyamalan sees dollar signs.) The Last Airbender is a live-action adaptation of the super popular Nick cartoon series Avatar: The Last Airbender. The premise of the cartoon is that Earth, Fire, Water and Air can be controlled by “benders.”  Aang is the Avatar, and the last surviving member of Air Nomads. His purpose is to restore balance and overthrow the Fire Nation’s Admiral Zhao, but first he must learn to focus and bend all of the elements. Fortunately, the creators of the series left out the fifth element, Heart. That poor kid with the Heart ring on Captain Planet had the lamest superpower ever.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Release date: July 16
Nicholas Cage is back with more fantasy, this time in a live-action adaptation of the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” scene from Disney’s Fantasia. (You remember? Mickey and those crazy mops!) Cage plays Balthazar Blake, a master sorcerer who sets out to protect his city from an evil wizard. He recruits a young apprentice, Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel) to help him. After a crash-course in magic (and what could possibly go wrong when you put those two words together?), Stutler joins Blake’s quest in a Disney-esque battle of Good versus Evil. The film looks to be a lot less trippy than the actual “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” from Fantasia. So if you’re looking for a mind-bend, you’ll have to watch Burton’s Alice in Wonderland on DVD.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
Release date: Nov 17
If you thought Dumbledore’s death was tragic, wait until the first five minutes of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when Harry’s beloved and loyal companion, Hedwig, gets (spoiler alert) blasted out of the sky. As promised, Harry, Ron and Hermione don’t return for their seventh year at Hogwarts. Instead they must decode Dumbledore’s mission for them from beyond the grave while trying to find and destroy the fragments of Voldemort’s soul that he’s hidden in horcruxes around the country. The path toward victory is strewn with casualties and heartbreak. Even the unshakable trio will find themselves turning against one another. Director David Yates is sticking with the films until the final expelliarmus.

Tron Legacy
Release date: Dec. 17
Tron Legacy is the nerdgasmic sequel to Disney’s 1982 film. Jeff Bridges return as Kevin Flynn, and and Bruce Boxleitner will reprise his roles as Alan Bradley and Tron. Garrett Hedlund will take over as Kevin’s now-adult son, Sam, who gets sucked into the same world his father disappeared into 25 years earlier. (We knew he was alive!) The father/son team join forces and traverse the treacherous cyber terrain, which has become much more sophisticated since we last saw it.

Obviously, a tie-in video game will be released in time for Christmas.

What 2010 fantasy film are you most looking forward to?

• Okay, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice isn’t what I expected at all. The first trailer is out, but can I just say? How in the hell did Nicolas Cage get to be a superstar? He’s annoyed me ever since Peggy Sue Got Married.

• Fringe has cast Peter’s mother (Walter’s wife). But what’s the deal with her age? (Spoiler alert) Incidentally, what happened to Theresa Russell anyway? I thought she was supposed to be a love interest for Walter.

• Maybe new media isn’t quite the king yet after all. Nielsen says 99% of video viewing is done on a traditional TV — and out of 31 hours of weekly TV viewing, only 31 minutes is in DVR/playback mode. Meanwhile, studio executives say that the death of the DVD market is wildly overstated — that it’s mostly due to the recession, and that, regardless, Blu-Ray is making them a bundle.

• A producer of speculative fiction magazines is paying 1/5 of one cent per word — a shockingly low rate. An editor says that obscure credits in magazines no one has heard of won’t help you break through. What do professional writers get paid? Here’s another writer’s more pessimistic take. (This is all complicated by the fact that there is basically no real professional market for short stories anymore, but both writers’ experiences are consistent with my own experience: pay rates for short stories vary wildly, which is why pay is only one of the things you should take into consideration when writing short stories. I’ll write em as a favor to a friend putting together an anthology, but that’s about all.)

• Hmmmm. Universal is bragging via email that The Wolfman, coming in February, received an “R,” for “bloody horror, violence and gore.”

• Despite all the rumors, casting for The Hobbit is just beginning (except for Ian McKellen, returning as Gandalf). Meanwhile, Peter Jackson says disregard those rumors that the film has been delayed.

• Why is sci-fi literature dying while fantasy is flourishing? One writer gives some good reasons.

• Sigourney Weaver really, really likes Avatar:  “It will pick you up and shake you like a little rag doll. I’m not too much of an emotional creature, but I was weeping by the end. I remember reading the script and thinking, I love this but how can he ever do this. Nothing like this has been done before – floating mountains! I think for a certain generation it will change what they want to happen in the cinema. It is as big as sound. I hope it won’t impact every movie, but for the big movies it raises the bar – it throws the bar away.”

• Will a sci-fi picture get a Best Picture nod now that the category will now have ten nominees? Conventional wisdom is that the movie with the strongest shot is Star Trek (which is ridiculous, IMHO), although I think it would be an outrage if District 9 was not a contender, since I thought it was easily one of the best pictures of the year. Where the Wild Things Are is also sometimes mentioned as a possibility, but I think that’s extremely unlikely (if you read this site, you know I think that was one of the worst movies of the year, hands down). The Road and Moon are also mentioned as possibilities.

• Terry Gilliam is interested in Robert Duvall for The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, but as usual, Duvall is all “show me the money!”

• Author Joel Shepherd explains the power of the female protagonist, especially in fantasy: “Given that male leadership is the norm in most societies even today, putting a woman in the role of primary protagonist automatically creates a series of tensions that I don’t get with a male character. In a medieval-level society even more so.”

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