Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

For these “goth” recaps, we will bring the darkness of True Blood directly into your very soul, and if there’s any light in you, we’ll suck it out. We’re just that goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled, on this page we indulge in the bloody despair and evil, evil plot points. Ye have been warned …

Last week, Eric, in all his infinite gothness, decided to use Sookie as bait in order to make a deal with the insane vampire king, Russell Edgington, who was none too pleased with Eric after he murdered Russell’s husband, Talbot. So, naturally, he chained her up in the basement. So goth.

After he takes off, Bill runs in, sensing Sookie’s in trouble. Usually Mr. Compton knows how to bring the goth, but this dashing hero routine is just so tired. Fortunately, the sexy and eternally goth Pam is there to spray a little silver into his face. Yes, Bill. Feast on your delicious agony.

Wait, what happened? First Bill has rejected his innate gothness, then Sookie picks up the slack by silver-choking Pam? Wow, who knew?

Meanwhile, Tara is sizing up her life of the past few months: she finally met someone she loved, only to have him shot, and then was tortured by an insane vampire. So she surrenders to despair and weeps in a graveyard at night. And really, haven’t we all been there?

Following a V-induced trip, Lafayette and Jesus are sitting in the living room when Lafayette hallucinates that Jesus has turned into … whatever that thing is. Imagining your lover as a hideous demon? I think Lafayette may just be pulling his goth weight this week. Well, it’s about time.

So first Sookie goes goth, then Lafayette goes gother, and now it looks like Arlene, who employed her witch friend to magically murder her unborn baby, may take the goth gold ring. Arlene! What’s in the water in Bon Temps tonight?

Sookie and Bill are driving across town, imagining their lives as a perfect, happy rural couple. Disgusting. Fortunately, Russell and Eric arrive to put a stop to it. Tres goth, gentlemen. Good show. It turns out Eric wants to encourage Russell to drink Sookie’s fairy blood so he can walk in the sunlight. (I know what you’re thinking. Why would anyone ever want to walk in the sunlight?)

Well, never fear. This desire for sunlight isn’t some de-gothing on Eric’s part. It turns out it was an elaborate ruse to trap Russell under the sun and kill him. Of course, it will kill Eric as well.

But that’s how a truly goth man rolls.

Till next time, my little demons … goth out.

There are many things I love in life. I love my parents. I love my friends. I love playing online Tetris for free. I love a tall, ice-cold pint of beer. I love that the space bar will pause Youtube, Hulu, and Netflix Instant viewing.

I love all of these things and never have to defend that. But one thing I occasionally do find myself defending is my love of fantasy.

In a way, I get it. Fantasy is, on its surface, a genre packed to the gills with elves, dragons, and wizards — not exactly grown-up fair. How can a story with magic spells and dashing princes compare to the very realistic plays of Tennessee Williams, the written works of Jack Kerouac, or the films of Gus Van Sant? What makes fantasy so great?

In a word: metaphor.

For those not too proud to explore a work of fantasy and not too dense to look beneath its surface, the fantasy genre is a rich addition to the literary, film, and television canon because it explores very real human problems and desires by creating allegories through which to explore them.

Name any fantasy work that has withstood the test of time, and you will find in it a fable full of lessons of all too real applicability.

Michael Ende’s landmark novel, The Neverending Story, which was turned into a decent movie in the ’80s, is about a young boy named Bastian Balthazar Bux, who is neglected by his father and bullied by his schoolmates. He finds a book that transports him into another world called Fantasia, a world that is the embodiment of all the dreams and fantasies of the real world, which is being destroyed by an enemy called the Nothing.

The story is moving and absorbing not due to its host of magical creatures, but because it taps in all of us that longing to be a child again, to be able to lose yourself in worlds of your own creation, before the dark, unimaginative specter of adulthood falls upon us.

This theme of the wonder of a child’s imagination is explored many times over in fantasy, from The Wizard of Oz to The Chronicles of Narnia to Labyrinth.

While passionate, romantic love is a theme explored in virtually every genre imaginable, has there ever been a better representation of the honest, pure love between friends as there was in The Lord of the Rings? The entire sprawling epic that is Tolkien’s masterpiece essentially hangs on a single conceit: that we as an audience accept that Sam will do anything for Frodo.

This is a hard sell for some, because the notion of the power and beauty of platonic love is not a prevalent idea in our culture. Their relationship isn’t romantic so there’s no promise of sex. Frodo is hardly royalty so there’s no allure of vast treasures. Sam is committed to Frodo, with no reward expected, because that’s just the kind of person he is, and who wouldn’t want a friend like Sam? Who wouldn’t want to be a friend like Sam?

Toss in the fact that it’s two lowly hobbits, humble and small in stature, who succeed in saving the world, and you have a classic for the ages. It takes a story about hobbits to make us see the wonder in our fellow man.

This past year, the high fantasy television show Legend of the Seeker came into its own when episodes began appearing that were not necessarily part of the larger plot, but instead focused on characters by throwing them into fantastical situations that mirrored real life problems.

Kahlan, a young woman who was torn between her sense of duty and her love for her companion, Richard, was in one episode magically split into two people, and through this spell we came to learn much about her and how difficult her burden really was.

Another episode featured Cara, a woman who was abducted and brainwashed and turned into a killer. As she attempted to regain her humanity, she was turned into a Baneling (basically a sentient zombie), thus making her metaphorical fight to be a regular person quite literal.

The point is that we could have simply watched biopics of Margaret Thatcher or Patty Hearst, and I’m sure some would be content to do just that, but those projects are limited to the real and mundane. By steeping a story in allegory, you have a much larger canvas on which to paint.

I suppose the fantasy genre will always be overlooked by those who wish to appear highbrow. After all, magic and flights of fancy are a hard sell to the academic.

But for those of us in the know, fantasy has a way of engaging our suspension of disbelief by accessing the emotional truths in stories about hobbits and goblins, and reflecting the realities of our world through a supernatural lens. Like opera and musical theater, which engage our emotions through music rather than realism, fantasy will forever be a step removed from reality, but never so far that we can’t recognize it. And it’s because of that very distance from reality that the genre is able to remark on it so keenly.

Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

For these “goth” recaps, we will bring the darkness of True Blood directly into your very soul, and if there’s any light in you, we’ll suck it out. We’re just that goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled, on this page we indulge in the bloody despair and evil, evil plot points. Ye have been warned …

For those of you not too gothed out to remember, last week ended with Sookie finally embracing the goth and bitch-slapping werewolf Debbie out, while Eric dispatched Russell Edgington’s husband Talbot at a really unfortunate time. Sex death. It doesn’t get any gother than that.

Eric rushes back to Fangtasia and encounters the deliciously goth Pam, who is undermining her overwhelming darkness by being concerned for him.

In no time at all, the surprisingly sinister Nan (could a surprise ever be more welcome?) shows up and grills Eric about what happened to the Magister, eventually deciding, along with the mysterious Authority, that Eric has to clean up his own goth mess all by his own goth self.

Could it be all their blood-swapping has made them trade places? As Sookie grows darker, Bill finds himself in the blindingly happy fairy-tale world where Sookie once traveled to. Gross.

For thos who like their plate of goth with crazy on the side, Lafayette’s mother stopped by for her daily dose of loco. But by now Lafayette and Jesus are way too in love to be goth, so we’re moving on.

Meanwhile, Sam is worried the viewers will forget he’s a character on this show, so he beats the crap out of someone at the bar. Personally, I’d go with locating the masters of the dark arts and joining them in their fiendish plots of demonic domination, but to each his own.

Shocking no one, Franklin returns, even crazier than Lafayette’s mom. But we are surprised to see ray of sunshine Jason Stackhouse shoot him with a wooden bullet through the heart. Oh, Jason, that was the gothest you’ve ever been. Good show.

But not one to be out-gothed, Russell shows up on the primetime news and separates an anchor from his spine.

And that is why it’s goth to be the king.

Goth out!

Never miss an episode of your favorite fantasy TV show again!

What follows is a list of all fantasy and fantasy-esque shows currently on the air, the projected U.S. start-dates for upcoming seasons of existing and new television shows, and a look at some potential new shows that we will hopefully be seeing in the future.

We’ll keep this list as up-to-date as possible, so check back often.

Thanks to Vincent Austin for maintaining this feature.

Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

For these “goth” recaps, we will bring the darkness of True Blood directly into your very soul, and if there’s any light in you, we’ll suck it out. We’re just that goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled, on this page we indulge in the bloody despair and evil, evil plot points. Ye have been warned …

For those of you too encased in the vapors of misery to recall, last week ended with Sookie being awakened from her coma by Bill feeding her his blood through an IV. Of course, he had put her in the coma, so it sort of evens out.

This ends with Sookie and Bill breaking up. Yes, that’s right. In an odd departure from her usual perky self, Sookie embraces the inexorable reality that life is but a ceaselessly flowing river of pain and surrenders to despair, causing Bill to cry … and making him look like he should be auditioning for a community theater production of A Clockwork Orange: The Musical. Depressing, Bill, but not exactly goth. What happened to you? You were my go-to goth!

Meanwhile, at Russell Edgington’s home, his lover Talbot is none too pleased that Russell decided to marry Queen Sophie-Anne for political reasons. Talbot is on the verge of goth, but sadly just ends up whiny.

But at least Sookie has, uncharacteristically, decided to give us a full on goth parade this episode, which she proves by …

Oh, god dammit. Moving on …

We’re given another example of surprising gothitude when Arlene – yes, Arlene – has a hallucination about her late murderous fiancee, Renee. Well, well, Arlene. I didn’t know you had it in you. You have impressed me.

Wow, you know what’s really not goth? Vampires hugging.

Someone who hasn’t let us down in the goth department is Eric, who has been giving the ol’ sexy eye to both Talbot and Russell for the past few episodes. Here it culminates in a passionate rendezvous with Talbot … right before Eric stakes him to avenge his family’s death at the hands of Russell. Super goth points, Eric!

Of course, the King of Mississippi is also the King of Goth, as Russell demonstrates her by chowing down on our beloved Baby Jessica.

In an episode full of twists and turns as far as who’s goth and who’s not, can we really be surprised that the show’s supercouple decides to cap it off with one of the gothest sex scenes yet? After a knockdown-dragout battle with werewolf Debbie, Buffy Sookie does what she does best — have angsty, gothy sex with Bill. So what else is new?

So there you have it, my gruesome hell-beasts. Not a consistently goth episode, but at least we weren’t subjected to a Sookie-hallucination-inspired scene of angel-fairy-hippies frolicking around a pond.

Till nest time, goth out.

This past January, Spartacus: Blood and Sand premiered on the Starz network to much hype and expectation, and in a truly shocking twist, it actually delivered.

The show almost immediately gained a cult following which soon became legion, an army of fans who just couldn’t get enough of the adventures in the ancient gladiator training camp. While many critics turned their noses up at the excessive gore and violence (not to mention the generous helpings of full-frontal nudity and sex scenes), websites across the blogosphere began to pop up, honoring the new series. That Spartacus was a hit, there can be no doubt.

On its surface, Spartacus was the ultimate guys’-guy show. Each episode seemed to be injected with a superdose of testosterone, and with each limb that was excised from a body, the fans became more and more bloodthirsty. The thirteen-episode first season culminated in what has to be one of the most shocking, blood-soaked climaxes in the history of television, in which Spartacus and his fellow slaves rebel and lay waste to an entire houseful of Roman citizens, brutally murdering men, women, and children.

Just as the network promised, Spartacus pushed the envelope farther than any show that had come before it.

But it did even more than expand the limits of violence and nudity on television. It accomplished a much higher goal, and it did this — if you can believe it — subtly.

Spartacus is the first of its kind: a guys’ show that is inclusive of women, minorities, and gay and bisexual characters, without ever calling attention to itself for this fact. It never pats itself on the back for being forward-thinking. There was never a “very special” episode of Spartacus that dealt with a character’s sexual identity, or a story in which they learn that beyond our skin color, we’re all really the same.

Spartacus just assumed this to be true, and in a rare display, it respected its audience enough to assume they would be on the same page.

So were they?

Most of them were. But not all, of course. Recently, series showrunner Steven S. Deknight spoke to TheTorchOnline.com writer Michael Jensen about the show’s two most significant gay characters, Barca and Pietros, who were killed halfway though the first season.

MJ: You’ve had some time since the season ended and people reacted to what happened with Barca and Pietros. Has any of the negative reactions changed how you write gay characters? Do you feel like you’re more aware of the issues than you were before?

SD: It still comes down to the story and what works best for the characters. The only time I had a reaction to anything that’s said, is every once in a while I’ll come across a comment on the Facebook site or the official site, and I’m sure all your readers have read similar things, where someone will say—usually a guy—”I love the show but can you cut out all the gay shit.” That’s the only thing that will trigger a violently negative response from me.

For me, and I think Rob too, it’s even more reason to continue including that in the story until people come to accept it. I don’t understand how you can watch Season 1 and fixate on that, especially when I think the Barca/Pietros storyline was beautiful and tragic. I was very heartened that even people who were a little uncomfortable with the gay content, when Barca got killed, they were very upset and very moved, which I think is a step in the right direction.

MJ: And a testament to the storytelling and the acting. You guys were able to overcome that internalized prejudice people have. Now, the show obviously had a lot of female nudity, but it had more male nudity than any show I’ve ever seen. It was very homoerotic, yet clearly it was a smash success. The show was hugely popular. Did you expect more negative reaction or less?

SD: I’m honestly always surprised by negative reactions to sexual content, language content, I was even surprised by some of the negative reaction to the violence in the show. For me, I look at shows at being entertaining and hopefully moving, but first and foremost our job is to entertain. I look at the show as something I would love to watch even if I wasn’t working on it. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I live in Los Angeles and things are a little bit different here, as they are in any big city. I’m always shocked when other people are shocked.

There are moments in the show where I’m like, “Oh, alright. I understand you being shocked when Segovax is castrated.” I mean, I cringed myself. At the end of the day, the important thing for us is we’re not actively trying to promote any single agenda. Everything comes together because we’re just trying to tell the best story we can, and if there’s a little bit of social activism in there, all the better.

Deknight casually makes a reference to social activism as an almost incidental side effect of their storytelling, but that is where the show is truly remarkable. That the show could be considered progressive is not a statement they’re attempting to make. It just is.

As stated above, the show has its share of gay and bisexual characters, and there are more to come in the coming seasons. Both Barca and Pietros were also people of color, as are other prominent characters like Doctore and Naevia. And speaking of Naevia, she was one of a batch of strong, resourceful women showcased on the show, in such company as Lucretia, Illyithia, and Mira.

Spartacus is an action show for the 21st century, truly the first of its kind. It is a landmark series and should be applauded for that fact. Of course, in a perfect world, such inclusion wouldn’t be newsworthy. But until we reach that day, it’s a good thing we have shows like Spartacus.

Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

For these “goth” recaps, we will bring the darkness of True Blood directly into your very soul, and if there’s any light in you, we’ll suck it out. We’re just that goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled, on this page we indulge in the bloody despair and evil, evil plot points. Ye have been warned …

For those of you too encased in darkness to remember, last week the unbearable lightness of being that is Sookie was about to be devoured by the she-vampire, Lorena. Oh, if only she had succeeded, and the world would be rid of the parky blondness.

But of course Bill overpowers her and instructs Sookie to stake her, because as we all know, no one is gother than Bill. He will cut you … with darkness.

Of course, unlike on Buffy, where a staked vamp turns into a decidedly non-goth cloud of dust, the vampires in Louisiana explode into a puddle of blood and gore when met with wood through the heart. There are few things in this hellish world that make me smile. That is one of them.

Meanwhile, Jason proves once again that he has no idea how to be goth. Look at that body - tan, lean and muscled … clearly he doesn’t understand the path to true beauty is to always hide from the sun and never eat. Amateur.

Jason should really take goth lessons from Bill, who chowed down on Sookie in order to recuperate. Of course, he went overboard and put her in a coma, where she had a super-not-goth hallucination of white-clad folks making merry in the sunshine. Ugh. Typical.

Fortunately, Eric is around to up the goth quotient, which he does by feasting on Queen Sophie-Anne’s mortal girlfriend, Hadley, in order to get information about Sookie.  Wicked.

Another fellow who never fails to encase the world around him in utter gloom is the Magister, who is so intent on torturing Pam that he doesn’t notice Eric, Sophie-Anne, and Russell Edgington entering the room. Interesting. Is it possible to be too goth, to the point where you don’t pay attention to your own safety? Ah, nonsense. There’s no such thing as too goth. What a silly idea. I’m sure no matter what the situation, his gothitude will protect him –

Ah, never mind.

Goth out.

True Blood is one of our staples here at TheTorchonline.com — a true blend of mystery and fantasy, with a dash of softcore erotica and a heaping helping of horror.

While its main fantastical component is the existence of vampires, other creatures have reared their magical heads, particularly shapeshifters, werewolves, and even a Maenad. (They had a fake-out of a Minotaur, but it was just the Maenad in disguise. Oh, well.)

All these phantasmagorical beings got me thinking about what other creatures could invade the not-so-sleepy town of Bon Temps. Sure, the show is based on the Sookie Stackhouse novels, but they’ve been known to deviate, and it would be really cool, given the nature of True Blood’s awesome production values and special effects, to see some of these beings onscreen.

Incubi and Succubi

On a libidinous show such as True Blood, Incubi and Succubi would fit right in. They are the male and female forms of a type of demon that preys upon humans  by laying on top of them while they sleep. According to some sources, they then invade the sleeper’s mind in the form of erotic dreams, while in other versions they actually have sex with their victim in real life.

Either way, this results in draining the victim of their energy and eventually killing them. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how Sookie Stackhouse, a telepath, might be able to fight off a psychic attack by an Incubus?

Banshees

In Irish mythology, banshees were female beings that served as omens of death, and are known for their piercing screams. With a little tweaking of the story, the writers could turn the banshees into some serious enemies, possibly pushing people to their deaths with their screams. It sure would be cool to see how the vamps of Louisiana deal with such a threat. Also, Lafayette should definitely tell a banshee, “Hooker, please.” That would be great television.

Mermaids and Mermen

One of the most well-known and recognized fantastical citizens of the sea, merfolk would make an interesting angle on the show, seeing as how they show a lot of skin and can commune with sea animals. While the characters on True Blood don’t spend a lot of time on the coast, it would be pretty awesome if Eric had to go head-to-head with a pissed-off merman.

Maybe the approach they could take is that merfolk are just another form of shifters, like in the movie Splash, and whenever they get wet their more scaly side rears its fins. Who knows? Maybe Arlene has got a real fishy secret.

Gorgons

In Greek mythology, the gorgons were hideously ugly female monsters with snakes for hair. Their most famous member, Medusa, even had the power to turn people to stone with one look. Sure, we might have had an overload of Medusa recently, what with her appearances in both Clash of the Titans and Percy Jackson and the Olympians. But if anybody could give her a fresh spin, it’s Alan Ball, and I’d personally love to see bitchy vamp Pam face off against one of these beasts.

Chupacabras

Of all the cryptids out there, I think chupacabras are my favorite, because, well, they’re tiny. Sure, they’ll suck the guts out of your livestock and ruin your crops, but come on, they”re so adorable. Just look at this guy.

Standing about 3 feet tall, these alien-esque little critters began to catch fame in Puerto Rico before moving to other parts of the world.

There’s a few theories on what these diminutive demons look like, but the prevailing one sort of looks like a prehistoric version of the Gremlins, once they’ve been fed after midnight. Oh, and if they were fed mescaline.

Wouldn’t it be a hoot to see sullen vampire Bill Compton having to shake a few chupacabras off of his boot while he goes off on some mission to save his true love, Sookie?

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Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled: we will discuss the latest episodes of HBO’s gothic fantasy, True Blood. Ye have been warned …

Last week, Tara was brought to the house of super goth Russell Edgington and Talbot by the insane Franklin, which doesn’t bode well for Tara. Usually Tara’s the type of person who utterly surrenders to pain and misery. I understand and respect her for this. But she must have spent too much time around Sookie, because she’s starting to get spunky in the face of danger. Sigh. And there was so much hope for her.

The episode ended with Sookie and Bill being ambushed and taken hostage by Russell, and Sookie once again unleashing that light from her hands. Ugh. Even her superpowers are bright and perky.

This episode begins with the dead-crossed lovers being tossed into the foyer of Russell’s home, and Bill, who is always dependably goth, immediately stakes a skinhead vamp. Blood and entrails fly everywhere, which horrifies Talbot, who is only thinking about the mess it’s making. So not goth, Talbot. Russell orders Lorena to murder Bill in the basement. Well played, your majesty.

Later, Russell drags Sookie into a living room and demands she tell him what she really is, and why she was able to do that pesky lightbeam-thing. Sookie attempts to use feisty bravado to counter Russell’s supreme gothitude. Oh, Sookie, just stop trying. Please.

After his grilling of the perpetually blond Sookie, Russell takes Eric and heads to the home of Sophie-Anne, the Vampire Queen, where he has Eric rough her up and force her to agree to marry Russell for political reasons. This episode is getting gother by the second.

Tara takes the goth cake this week by tricking Franklin into thinking she loves him, seducing him, biting him and tearing into his flesh, waiting for him to fall asleep, and then bludgeoning him to a bloody pulp with a mace. Between that and Lorena torturing Bill in the basement, this week seems to showcase just how goth the ladies are. Even Sookie seems a little glummer than usual after thinking Bill is being murdered. Hell’s belles, indeed, my little monsters.

Well, my, my. It would seem we have one more hellish belle, as Baby Jessica makes short work of a horrifically rude customer. But then, she did it to make Arlene feel better, so I’m not sure if that counts as truly goth.

Of course, it takes a vampire to win the goth crown, and Lorena proves this when she ends the episode biting down on Sookie in what looks like a fatal embrace.

Fingers crossed that it works.

So there you have it, my demons and phantasmagoric fellows, our latest goth recap. I now send you all out into the night to wreak havoc among the living and bring dread into the hearts of the hopeful. I’d go with you, but I’m way too goth to do this myself … plus I just got a new Playstation game. It’s all right, though — it’s a totally goth.

Welcome back, Hellspawn, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com, wherein we dance once more to the dark refrain of that titillating vampiric romp, True Blood. As we all know, no one is gother than us here, and we prove it by delivering unto your dark souls these totally dark recaps. Just don’t tell our mom, because she’ll ground us. With evil.

If you can reach through the murky depths of your black despair and remember, last week Tara was brought to the house of Russell Edgington by the nastiness known as Franklin. After she’s sniffed at by Russell’s lover, Talbot, Russell returns with Bill and that bastion of wickedness, Lorena. In true goth fashion, Bill pretends he doesn’t know Tara. Even gother? They’re all covered in the blood of the stripper they had been devouring.

Later, Eric shows up and they drink blood out of martini glasses. This show is on a goth roll for once. I’m just glad Sookie isn’t around to spoil it with her perky blond ponytail and adorable smile. Ugh … I shudder with ennui.

Meanwhile, Franklin’s obsessive love for Tara grows to the point where he ties her up and puts her in a lacy mumu. That’s beyond goth — that’s flat out disturbing.

At Merlotte’s, Tommy flirts with Baby Jessica. Ugh, so not goth. Moving on.

Then Jason takes off his shirt and flirts with Crystal. Hey, this is getting less goth by the minute …

Then Jesus starts flirting with Lafayette. Aw, come on! Where’s all the goth go?

Ah, there we go. As we return to goth form, brought to us naturally by the ever-goth Bill, our dark hero smashes some faces in and escapes from Russell’s mansion after hearing that Sookie was in Mississippi. If only Sookie wasn’t mentioned, that would have been the perfect goth sentence.

Speaking of Sookie, this quasi-dark episode ends with her stunning Cooter with a beam of light.

Wait, what?

The Starz network really put itself on the map this year with the breakout success of its flagship original series, Spartacus: Blood and Sand. The low-fantasy sword-and-sorcery epic attracted a huge following, largely due to the fact that it was just so original – there really was no other series like it. (And we really dug it here at TheTorchOnline.com!)

When the schedule for the upcoming season was announced, it was interesting to note that the network had added not one but two more fantasy or fantasy-ish series with Camelot and Pillars of the Earth (a mini-series). They’re also co-producing the next season of the UK sci-fi series Torchwood in collaboration with the BBC.

This, from a network whose only other original programming is currently a couple of reality shows (non-fantasy programming like Party Down was recently canceled).

Pillars of the Earth isn’t exactly fantasy, but rather historical fiction, set in Medieval England and focusing on an architect named Jack Jackson.

From Starz:

“This epic tale of passion and greed begins when a mysterious secret disrupts the succession to the English crown and an unlikely member of King Henry’s family takes the throne. A power struggle between Henry’s daughter, Maud, and nephew, Stephen, causes England to be torn by war as battles rage for the rightful heir. Meanwhile, Bishop Waleran Bigod and the Hamleigh family manipulate the conflict to satisfy their own ruthless ambitions. Within this tumultuous setting, Prior Philip fights insurmountable obstacles to keep Kingsbridge and his dream of building a magnificent cathedral alive. The task is daunting, but master-mason Tom Builder, his gifted stepson, Jack, and noblewoman Aliena work together to achieve their dreams. And in the process, the long-hidden secret is revealed.“

Despite its lack of magic, I’m going to hazard a guess that Pillars will have enough palace intrigue to keep readers of TheTorchOnline.com satisfied.

Their other medieval England series, Camelot, is yet another adaptation of Arthurian legend — apparently, the landscape has room enough for this and Merlin. Production has yet to begin, and no word has come out yet as to whether the tone will be similar to Spartacus – over the top, stylized, comic book aesthetic — or a more sober, serious Arthurian affair, such as the TNT version of Mists of Avalon.

What we do know is that they’ve amassed a number of reputable actors, including Eva Green as Morgana and Joseph Fiennes as Merlin, which is a sign of good things to come — good actors usually choose good projects.

So what do you think? Is Starz quietly branding itself the Fantasy Channel?

Welcome back, children of the night, to the dark and shadowy dark shadows of TheTorchOnline.com. Herein we take a look at the most recent episodes of True Blood and see if they’re as truly goth as we are. Because we are totally goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled: we will discuss the most goth elements of the latest episodes in detail. Ye have been warned …

As we all know, Sookie is currently on the road with the werewolf Alcide looking for Bill, who’s gone missing. Rather than surrendering to the darkness that surrounds all of our lives, she is fighting to keep the light in. We don’t like Sookie.

Fortunately for us, Bill, who had just had incredibly angsty and neck-twisting sex with Lorena, is there for us to bring the goth. He always manages to inject an unbelievably bleak, depressing mood into any situation. We like Bill. As much as our wicked, black hearts can like someone, that is.

Meanwhile, Eric is having sexy daydreams about Sookie. Oh, Eric. She’s all perkiness and blond ponytails. Can’t you see that you should be with someone cold, mean, and dark-hearted, like Pam?

Now this is more like it. As we all know, the perpetually-distraught Tara has given herself over to the pain and darkness in life and got herself involved with that really ugly British vampire, Franklin. I think she made the right choice. Sure, it may have gotten her tied up on a toilet and left all alone, but really, isn’t that just a metaphor for everyone’s daily life in this rotten world?

But all good things must come to an end, and so Franklin returns and liberates Tara from her porcelain prison, only to tie her up again and bring her to the home of Russell Edgington, the Vampire King of Mississippi, and his lover Talbot. We don’t know exactly what’s afoot, but you can tell it’s something extraordinarily goth.

Ugh. Tragic. Don’t even try, Sookie.

Back at Fangtasia, the super-goth Magister has discovered Eric’s drug ring, in which he sells V to eager customers. For those not in the True Blood inner circle, V is vampire blood. Selling your own blood like a drug? That’s about as goth as you get.

And finally, the Vampire King of Mississippi has one more goth trick in store for us as he closes out the episode by opening up his own veins and feeding his blood to a room full of filthy, dark werewolves.

Nice move, King. We’ll have to retreat to our coffins and try to come up with an even gother maneuver. Until next week, my little monsters. You can see yourselves out, of course. Just don’t knock over any of the satanic candles on your way out.

Because I can’t afford to replace any of my rugs. But, like, in a goth way.