The 1940s may have been the Golden Age of comic books, but we are living in the Golden Age of geeks. In the last five years, we have seen 24 — 24! — superhero movies hit the big screen. And Marvel and DC have five more in production for release this year. When A-list actors are breaking in line for a shot to play Captain America, and fanboys and fangirls are getting, er, action everywhere you look, I think it’s finally time to ask the question: Where is our female superhero movie?
Some of you will hold up a Catwoman or Elektra DVD and say, “Here is your female superhero movie!”
To which I will say, “Get that crap out of my face before I Hulk right out on you!” (What? My last name is Hogan.)
Catwoman and Elektra are half the reason we don’t have more female superhero films. Both movies bombed at the box office in 2004 and 2005, respectively, which caused studio execs to draw the conclusion that women heroes won’t play with a paying audience.
But the problem with Catwoman and Elektra wasn’t that the stars were women; the problem with Catwoman and Elektra is that they were terrible movies.
Batman movies don’t sell because Batman is a man.
Chris Nolan’s Batman reboot is one of the most celebrated superhero franchises in history because it is the perfect storm of great acting and directing, neat gadgets, an energetic score, authentic themes, killer SFX, complex moral quandaries, and stellar scripts.
Again, I say: stellar scripts!
You can’t hang the failures of Catwoman and Elektra on Halle Berry or Jennifer Garner. They could only be as good as the material they were given — and the only material they were given was spandex.
And that brings us the other half of the reason we still don’t have a good female superhero movie: Apparently, no one knows what to do with breasts when they get anywhere near a cape.
In hero movies, women either embrace their sexuality, which makes them villains; or they are completely desexualized, so that they don’t accidentally scare any small children.
For an example of the former, see Michelle Feiffer’s Catwoman, Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey/Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson’s Silken Floss and Eva Mendes’ Sand Saref. In one case, a man’s brain actually exploded because of his proximity to the sexy.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I love a femme fatale as much as the next person (Jessica Rabbit, call me!), but does it have to happen every time a woman in a hero movie wants to get laid?
For the second thing, well, I’m looking at you, Sam Raimi, and your pitiful excuse for Mary Jane Watson. I get that she was supposed to be a hybrid Watson/Gwen Stacy, but Stacy was in the third movie. Even so, all Mary Jane managed to do was frown and shriek and remember that one good time she kissed Spider-Man upside-down in the rain.
You see the problem? Sexy women are scary! Unsexy women are boring! But none of that matters because Catwoman and Elektra only made ten dollars between the two of them!
Still, I think there’s hope. People continue to happily drop ten bucks a pop to watch superhero movies. So, I’ve got five tips for studio execs and screenwriters if they really want to make a good female superhero movie:
1) Call Gail Simone and Greg Rucka. What they have done with Wonder Woman and Batwoman is the best thing to happen to women in comics in, well, ever. Their heroines are strong and complicated and smart and lovable and sexy. Under Simone’s pen, even Wonder Woman has started exploring her sexual side.
2) Embrace the standalone heroine. Both Elektra and Catwoman were sidekicks. There are plenty of female comic book characters who have held their own titles successfully for decades. Read the books! You’ll see!
3) If you’re too scared to launch an entire movie dedicated to a woman, at least test the waters by writing a strong female character into an already successful franchise. The things a Nolan script could do with Talia al Ghul (or even Catwoman) make me shiver with delight.
4) Don’t stunt-cast. No Alicia Silverstone. No Uma Thurman. Find your Heath Ledger and your Christian Bale.
5) Fish Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman script out of the trash. I hear he’s looking for a job. And no one writes empowered women like him.
Now, light the Catwoman and Elektra DVD bonfire, and let’s get this party started! It’s time for the female superhero movie!

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Necessary? Absolutely not. But enjoyable? Definitely!
There’s Eastwick, a remake of the movie The Witches of Eastwick. And there’s Alice, a remake of Alice in Wonderland (to go along with the feature film version they’re also currently filming).
Even more outrageously, sometimes if a superhero movie doesn’t do as well as expected, as with Ang Lee’s 2003 movie Hulk, Hollywood will simply pretend that the movie never existed, and just immediately remake it again.
Publicizing any media property is enormously expensive, especially in an era of “media clutter,” where there’s so much information out there that it can be difficult to break through to create audience awareness.
There are several attributes necessary in order to be a truly awesome superhero. You need a killer costume, of course. Original and interesting superpowers help. Usually, some form of personal flaw or psychological complex adds to your mystique.
The Hulk — “Hulk SMASH!”
Captain America — “Avengers assemble!”
Wonder Woman sings!
TTO: Has there been any talk of a specific role for you?
TTO: I’m curious if you’re friends with any of the other female action icons: Lindsay Wagner, Charlie’s Angels, or even Lucy Lawless who plays Xena? Have you met any of them?
DC Comic new direct-to-DVD adaptation Wonder Woman, the latest in an animated movie series that has also included Superman Doomsday and Justice League: The New Frontier, does it by emphasizing the “warrior” aspect of the Amazon women and piling on the action — some of it pretty gritty — while also playing up the story’s feminist, female-empowering roots, and even venturing out into some mild social commentary.
After all of Diana’s gender-generalizations, we also get Steve’s male perspective. “Newsflash!” he says. “The Amazons aren’t so perfect either. You act brave but cutting yourself off from the outside world was cowardly. Not to mention stupid — like less communication between men and women is what the world needed.”
As for the story, it didn’t break much new ground, with a relatively faithful (if graphically violent) explanation of both the Amazon’s and Wonder Woman’s immortal originals, and a mildly formulaic plot about Ares’ plan to make the modern-day world even more violent.




