Have a question about something fantasy-related? Please send an email to thetorchonlineoracle@gmail.com and be sure and include your city and state and/or country.

Q: Why has it taken so long for V to show us what the Vs look like? I don’t remember the original series taking this long — and they didn’t even have CGI back then! — MAGPIE, Toronto, Canada

The Oracle Speaks:

If the network had had their way, it would’ve taken even longer still.

“When I took over the show [mid-way through the first season], there were some mandates from the people who pay my paycheck,” says V showrunner Scott Rosenbaum. “I was told I could not show what a visitor looked like, under any circumstances.”

Rosenbaum wasn’t happy.

“I reacted very negatively to that,” he says, “but I was put in a position where I couldn’t [show the Vs]. I fought that fight every day, every phone call, every [set of notes]. It was difficult for me, because I was reading this fan-stuff online [about the need to show the visitors], and I was thinking, ‘I agree with that!’”

Eventually, the network relented. “And it happened to coincide with what I think the fans wanted right from the start,” Rosenbaum says.

It’s hard to imagine what the suits were thinking, except to acknowledge that it had been a while since there’d been much sci-fi on broadcast television, and they may simply have been unfamiliar with what the audience wanted.

“Sometimes less is more, but this is a case where it definitely wasn’t,” Rosenbaum tells me. “I understood the fan frustration. Look, we know what they are [from the original]. It’s not a secret, so there’s no reason to hang onto it. There are a lot of other secrets to keep, but that was one that you owe it almost to show it to them. If it had been up to me, I would’ve showed them by the second episode.”

Q: Ever notice how Yoda’s words of wisdom are so often wrong?

The Oracle Speaks:

You have a point. Consider:

• “If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.” [Not true: Luke saves them, but doesn't destroy all they have fought and suffered.]
• “Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.’ [Not true: with help from Luke, Darth Vadar turns away from the dark path in the end.]

And then there’s the fact that Yoda and Obi-Wan totally lie to Luke about the identify of his father, shrugging it off with the condescending, “Not ready for the burden were you.”

And I’m not even considering any Yoda dialogue from the prequel movies (which I’ve only seen once and am now basically pretending don’t exist).

On the other hand, Yoda is also right more than a few times:

• “No. Try not. Do… or do not. There is no try.”
• “That is why you fail.”
• “No. There is another.”

The point is, when your wisdom is as wise as Yoda’s sometimes is (and when you’re performed by someone as bad-ass as Frank Oz!), you’re allowed a few blind spots here and there.

Plus, as Yoda himself points out, “When 900 years you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?”

I’d say the same thing also applies to his mental acuity.

Have a question about something fantasy-related? Please send an email to thetorchonlineoracle@gmail.com and be sure and include your city and state and/or country.

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If one chooses to believe the following notion, there are certain scenarios that have yet to be perfected in film.  Specifically, in the fantasy realm.  Now there has been admirable attempts at the below forthcoming points.  But it’s not quite there yet.

So without further delay — and worthless banter — here’s a look at six fantasy ideas that we desperately still need to see in film.

1.  A Fantasy Epic Where Evil Wins (Muhahaha)

What if Frodo kept the ring?  How cool would it be if Hades won?  Although I consider myself a film historian (on training wheels), it is tough to recall when something this monumental has taken place.  It probably has somewhere in random underground fantasy flicks throughout history.  Yet the recent mainstream products keeps their distance from this idea.

What scribes are blatantly missing in their storytelling is that just because it is a happy ending, that does not necessarily mean it is a good one.  Even though this will hurt my cool factor (although I’m writing for a fantasy site), this idea entered my gem-of-a-brain after completing a Star Wars videogame (losing female Facebook friends as we speak).  Specifically, Knights of the Old Republic.

After playing it through and being a good little Jedi, I took in the cinematic ending for my accomplishments. Then I went back and played through again — basking in pure evil.

Upon completion, the “dark side” movie and storyline was extremely better than the typical good guy celebration.  Why?  Because the writers embraced the evil themes instead of dabbling in it.  Being able to say, “WOW” is just as satisfying as leaving with a smile on your face after the good guys win.

Of course we ultimately cheer for protagonists such as Frodo.  Yet part of me kind of wanted to see Sauron appear and wipe out the noble heroes.  Curiosity and change is the spice of life and exploring a new side of drama couldn’t hurt.  So having said that — in an epic arena — how would that creative concept come off?  I believe there is a way to do this without disappointing the audience.  Have the good guys go down using the old western “blaze-of-glory” concept.

Although the odds are stacked against them, by depicting an “all-in” battle, where good does some damage — yet eventually loses — could be crafted to drive home the above mentioned “WOW” response from the viewer.  Because in the end, a filmmaker truly just wants to get a reaction from his viewers — and something this unexpected would definitely provoke.

Admittedly, the physical storytelling would have to be impeccable for this idea to work.  Plus, the filmmaker must resist all urges to avoid showing a silver-lining after the evil victory.  No coddling allowed, my friends.

2.  Satan vs. God

Now this has been attempted in subtle ways, but no one can seem to truly bring this up to a level it needs to be (South Park doesn‘t count).  People are fascinated with the end of the world and if there is an anti-Christ walking among us.  Problem is, there has never been a full-scale epic that tackles every angle of the biblical apocalypse.  End of Days made a feeble attempt with this theme.  It brought in the devil but couldn’t muster up a worthy opponent (sorry, Governor Arnie) or atmosphere.

What I truly want to see is a creative writing scenario that encompasses an audacious battle between two actual immortals.  I’m tired of seeing a mismatch where a human’s morals somehow always end up saving the world.  Complete horse-crap.  Let’s get to the part of the book where the anti-Christ is unleashed and a great battle happens on earth.

No more demons possessing people to do their fighting.  Create a workable demon character — with minimal human likenesses — and form an army to take on angels.  Now the image of an angel is fairly well known.  So dump the logic and take liberties with the character.  Make angels twelve feet tall.  Then usher in the leads — God and Satan — in their true form.  We all think we know what Satan looks like, so surprise the hell out of us.

As for God, unless you can create a tricked-out version of Keith Richards or Ozzy (who are convinced they’re immortal and God-like), drop the old-man with the beard stigma and go for the outrageous.  God is subjective, so even if the great being is in the form of an unusual creature, who’s to argue?

Now, the trick is to have them fight all over the world and stop working in ridiculous subplots.  Sure, we need a mankind perspective, but  maintain the focus on the two stars.  Spend at least $100 million on this sucker and do it right.  The definitive apocalypse flick that brings the meat instead of dancing around the idea and teasing us.  Have you noticed that all of the flicks that have tried to depict this subject matter are low-budget and go direct-to-DVD?  Time for a change.  Prophecy had its storytelling moments, but way too subtle in its approach.

Yes this sounds like a Clash of the Titans rip-off, but the one element that sets this idea apart is the actual characters being depicted (God and Satan).  Sometimes less is more, but this is film, dammit! Sometimes more is more too.

3.  Adapt the Fable Videogame

All one hears on comment boards is who will create a fantasy flick as memorable and sophisticated as The Lord of the Rings.  This past decade, so many second-tier fantasy novels have half-assed their way onto the big screen.  Judging by the endings of all them (The Seeker, Eragon, etc.), they were hoping to continue.  Not so much my friends.  The respective studios chopped up the story and refused to spend the money.  Yet strangely, they have no problem blowing a $100 million on another lackluster rom-com that fails to arouse any profits at the box office.

The Fable story is rich and already has legions of fans.  Scoop it up, drop a ton of money on it, and the people will come.  It’s not that complicated.

4.  Create the Next LightSaber

As in, who will create the next iconic weapon that all of us will dream about having?  Even at 31, I still wake up swinging my blue blade (or is it blue balls from my imaginary  lady friend?). Moving along, Harry Potter’s wand does zilch for me.  Susan’s Narnia bow is stale and overused.  He-Man’s sword in the ’80s cartoon was interesting, but in the end, it’s just a sword.  All the wizard’s staffs look fun if I was confined to just walking around New York City.  Seriously, imagine the fun you could have with that “walking stick.”

There was a time I began thinking the X-Men flicks would come up with some innovative device.  Although they are mainly armed with super powers, I was banking on Hollywood not sticking to the source material and inserting their arrogance within the product.  What better place than the weapon department right?  Instead, it is all super powers.  And even if I wanted a super power, it would have been Superman’s X-ray vision.  Yet that is now worthless to me.  Why?  A plane ticket to Amsterdam isn’t all that expensive and there are plenty of windows.  If you know what I mean. (For the younger audiences, Google Amsterdam Windows.  You’ll thank me later).

Where was I?  Oh yeah…Weapons.  Clearly I could not come up with anything myself.  Any thoughts, or did I miss a great weapon since the lightsaber?  Didn’t the Blade franchise have some cool gadgets?  I shall go watch those again.  And I will be doing a noble deed in doing so.  Heard Wesley Snipes is having some cash flow issues.

5.  A Dragon Movie…That Isn’t Pathetic.

Not sure if this is possible actually, for the character may not be workable in a feature script.  Definitely could see recurring patterns where the flick drags due the dragon is not being captured on camera.  Two flicks come to mind that were tolerable at the very least though.  1981’s Dragonslayer and 2002’s Reign of Fire.  Intriguing stories and the CGI work for their respective times was admirable.  Aside from those two, the only flick that looked pristine was How to Train Your Dragon.  An animated film.  That was a nice movie, but I’m looking for something gritty and dangerous.

Believe it or not, Dragonslayer was a Walt Disney Picture that brought in an element of danger.  In contrast, Reign of Fire was supposed to be dramatic and dangerous.  As it went on, though, it became a platform for the CGI nerds to have fun with the technology.  And the lead characters’ acting ability transitioned into something out of a bad porno (if there is such a thing).

Seeing complete trash such as D-Wars and whatever childish flick Sean Connery voiced the dragon (too lazy to look it up and still trying to repress the memories) is making my ass itch (it‘s just what happens).  I believe the dragon character could find a proper vehicle in cinema with someone who had the right vision and respect for the material.  Paging Guillermo del Toro…

6.  Torch’s Choice ________

Authors must be honest with their readers and vice versa.  And trust me, my readers have been very honest and graphically descriptive over the years, in my archive of comment boards.  Especially when I give Twilight just 3 out of 5 stars (my apologies milfs, but feel free to grow-up anytime now).

Coming up with other moments that need to be seen in an epic fantasy flick should  be relatively easy.  However, picking a final topic has become quite the task for yours truly.  I was thinking about giants.  Then I jumped to how a filmmaker needs to shoot an epic battle scene in Iceland.  The landscape just feels magical.  Looks a lot like Middle-Earth too.  Also started thinking about what not to do.  I have an extremely hard time grasping that escapism feeling when magical forces are on display in a present day big city such as New York or Chicago.  Just doesn’t have that same old feeling when executed in a period piece.  Felt that on the last Harry Potter flick (Deathly Hallows) and the recent Sorcerer’s Apprentice debacle.  Modern landscape fails to provide the appropriate atmosphere in pleasing us dreamers.

Anyway, rather than force the issue, let’s yap, Torch followers.  If that doesn’t sound enticing, feel free to rip on me below. Suggestions for blind dates are also appreciated — cause once the legion of females see my name on the byline for this article, I’m going to need all the help I can get.

• Prepare yourself: this fantasy news round-up will include mostly info on the latest round of movie sequels, re-imaginings, and re-boots. Why? Because these are apparently pretty much the only fantasy movies Hollywood has decided it wants to make. Case-in-point: Anne Rice wants Robert Downey, Jr. as Lestat for a rumored Interview With a Vampire reboot. I’ve lamented so many times before how stupid it is to just do remakes, especially of movies that had perfectly fine movie adaptations in the first place. But I feel compelled to remind you: for every sequel and reboot Hollywood does, that means one less original story they produce, and one less classic book that never gets any adaptation at all.

• Twelve plot holes in The Walking Dead. I ordinarily hate articles like this, but I gotta say: I agree with most of these. Mostly, I’m not buying how quickly people (and the main character) have adapted to the zombie-verse. Speaking of The Walking Dead, the producer of the show is denying last week’s report that they fired all the show’s writers. (Side-note: I once stood next to uber-producer Gale Anne Hurd at a party. She’s surprisingly small.)

• A set visit to Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides. By the way, they’re planning two more Pirates sequels (of course), to be filmed simultaneously.

• Ready to commit suicide yet as a result of all the sequels? Dreamworks Animation is planning two more How to Train Your Dragon movies, four Madagascar ones, and six Kung Fu Pandas. Kill me now. No, wait: kill Jeffrey Katzenberg!

• Hilarious: Dr. Seuss does Star Wars (right).

• Tangled beat Harry Potter (which came out a week earlier) at the weekend’s box office. It’s shaping up to be a major hit, which is fine by me since I loved it.

• Tron: Legacy, the sequel to a sh*tty 1980s movie, is reportedly tracking poorly and could end up a massive flop. This article points out how stupid the Hollywood “greenlight” process currently is (no duh). But would Tron’s failure change anything? Of course not, because Hollywood thinks we’re all morons. No, really, they do.

• Speaking of Star Wars, the Princess Leia hologram is coming increasingly close to reality. (I guess this is stupid of me, but I thought we already had the technology to do this!).

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On late Friday, the website IESB.net rekindled sporadically-resurfacing rumors that George Lucas is planning another trilogy in his Star Wars franchise. The website based their report on a source they claimed was an “ultra top-secret Lucasfilm insider,” who said that the first new film will appear around the time that a planned 3D release of all six films is finished, in 2015 0r 2016.

The source also claimed that the movies will be sequels, not more prequels — possibly episodes 7, 8, and 9 in the Star Wars series that have been written about since the 1970s. But it was unlikely that the movies would involve the Skywalker family, the source said.

By Saturday, however, LucasFilm had flatly denied the rumors.

“This is, of course, completely false,” Lucasfilm spokesman Josh Kushins told Wired.com in an e-mail. “George Lucas has plenty of projects to keep him busy right now — including plenty of Star Wars projects — but there are no new Star Wars feature films planned.”

For its part, IESB.net predicted LucasFilm’s denial in their original report. “I am sure that they will spin this or completely deny the story, but we will stand 100% behind our source,” the website wrote.

• Problems with Ridley Scott’s Alien prequel: he wants a huge budget and an R-rating, and the studio, well, doesn’t.

• Remember those inexperienced filmmakers who got the rights to the old video game Myst a couple of years ago and have been shopping it around Hollywood ever since? It looks like someone bit: the project’s been optioned at least.

• I have a hard time taking anything Twilight-related seriously, but apparently there’s some casting news for the next movie.

• The trailer for a new movie, Troll Hunter (Trolljegeren), is getting a lot of buzz. Because it’s in a foreign language, I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be campy or not, but either way, it looks fantastic:

• You know how Disney is making movies based on their amusement park rides (Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean)? Now they want to make one based on one of their parks itself, called Magic Kingdom.
  

• Comic-Con is staying in San Diego through 2015. Funny, it never occurred to me that moving was an option, but I guess it just makes sense.

• Concept art for the upcoming Tron remake (right).

• Sam Raimi and the producer of District 9 are working on an alien invasion movie!

• There are three Snow White remakes in the works, including Snow White and the Huntsman, a spec script that Universal just purchased for $1.5 million, against $3 million if the movie gets made.

• Three blurry pics of James McAvoy as Professor Xavier in The X-Men reboot.
  

• In an interview, author Tad Williams discusses his relationship with the “fantasy” label.

• Now it’s the unions that are holding up The Hobbit. What next, locusts? (Yes, I know I’ve already made that joke.) Peter Jackson is understandably pissed.

• By now, everyone knows that George Lucas is transferring the Star Wars movies to 3-D (for releases starting in 2012). I swear to God, the first time I heard that he was doing this to “all six” movies, I thought, “Six movies? But there are only three Star Wars movies!” That’s how effectively I’ve blocked the prequel movies out.

• Wow, fascinating! The economics of Star Wars. Lucas has made that much more from marketing even than he’s made from the movies? Depressing.

• The second season of Warehouse 13 was a big, fat hit.

• A cool new Jim Hensen exhibit in Chicago. I’m such a fan!

• Spartacus: Blood and Sand is out on DVD!

• The unstoppable folks over at Save Our Seeker are working on a campaign to get the People’s Choice Award to include a new fantasy-related category (which, of course, they hope Legend of the Seeker would win). Go, SOS!

• Kate Beckinsale is back for Underworld 4, due in 2012.
  

• Former Mr. Tumnus, James McAvoy says he’s going “bury” Patrick Stewart’s performance as Professor Xavier in the upcoming X-Men reboot. Calm down, he’s joking:

• Far less than six degrees of separation between Star Wars‘ Wookies and George R. R. Martin. Kinda cool, actually.

• A remake of the 1950s classic book and movie The Day of the Triffids is coming — in 3D. Yes, it’s about intelligent plants that attack Earth, but it’s cool, trust me.

• Rob Zombie is making a “witch-themed” movie that’ll no doubt be another piece of crap.

Have a question about something fantasy-related? Please send an email to thetorchonlineoracle@gmail.com and be sure and include your city and state and/or country.

Q: I confess: I’m confused by the Narnian world. It’s not a planet. So what is it exactly? – Alan, Detroit, MI

The Oracle Speaks:

The truth is, author C.S. Lewis probably didn’t have a comprehensive design for Narnia when he wrote The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe — the world just sort of evolved as he wrote all seven books in The Chronicles of Narnia series.

The end is result is a world that violates most of the known laws of the universe. Created solely by Aslan’s magic, Narnia is a flat geocentric world with an impenetrable dome over it and a flaming disk of a sun the rises and falls around it. This “sun” is inhabited by great white birds and is home to “fire-flowers” and “fire-berries.”

The stars? Actual beings performing a mystical dance upon the sky — a dance which predicts the future.

Oh, and Narnia only existed for a grand total of 2555 years.

On the other hand, Charn, the only “world” other than Earth that the books explore (in The Magician’s Nephew), appears to be different from Narnia: an actual planet, with an actual sun (a “red giant,” signifying that Charm is an older world compared to Earth, which is a “younger world”) with some kind of accompanying celestial body — a planet, moon, or blue dwarf star.

Confusing? Yes. But this is all part of the books’ charm.

Q: If Hoth is the “ice planet,” what do tauntauns eat? I’m assuming tauntauns are native, because they seem to attract wampas, and if the wampas didn’t have tauntauns to eat, what do they live on? And contrary to what you might think from this question, I’m actually not at all annoying to be around! — Mike, Calgary, Canada

The Oracle Speaks:

In fact, both species are native to Hoth, and yes, the meat-eating wampa feed on the tauntauns.

What do the tauntauns eat? According to several sources in the Star Wars “expanded universe” (official books and games and the like), tauntauns feed in underground lichen caves.

And I don’t think you’re annoying at all. Hey, the All-Knowing, Fantasy-Question-Answering Oracle lives for this s**t!

Q: Who would win in a fight: Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie or Samantha from Bewitched? — MAGPIE, Toronto, Canada

The Oracle Speaks:

Both seem to be virtually omnipotent — each is limited only by her ability to physically nod or twitch her nose, respectively. But Samantha can literally stop time — something Jeannie never accomplished.

On the other hand, for really big spells, Samantha needs to come up with and recite a silly rhyme, while Jeannie needs merely to visualize something (apparently) and it comes true.

For that reason, I’m giving it to Jeannie.

At my suggestion, our friends over at FactPile.com took on the Jeannie Vs. Samantha debate.

Have a question about something fantasy-related? Please send an email to thetorchonlineoracle@gmail.com and be sure and include your city and state and/or country.

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Back again for another highly opinionated — some might even say downright cranky — look at some element of the fantasy genre. You’ve been warned!

SHOULD DIRECTORS GET A “DO-OVER” ON THEIR MOVIES’ SPECIAL EFFECTS?

Last weekend, I watched Star Trek: The Motion Picture. For years, I was one of its few defenders, mostly because I really liked the twist about who “V-ger” turned out to be.

Well, I was wrong before. It’s pretty much a terrible movie. There’s, um, no story: it’s two and a half hours of the Enterprise flying into a cloud.

But I did notice one thing: the special effects were pretty darn good for 1979, when the movie was released.

Indeed, they looked a little too good.

Sure enough, upon a little investigation, I discovered that the director, Robert Wise (yes, the Sound of Music guy), did a “re-edit” in 2001, redoing most of the special effects with CGI. This is now the version that’s available on DVD.

This is a really, really bad idea.

Movies are moments in time: cultural snapshots. Everything about them — their pacing, their style of acting, and, yes, their special effects — reflects the time in which they were made. A couple of months ago, I watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Total Recall, keeping in mind that its state-of-the-art (at the time) special effects were jaw-dropping.

Let’s just say they’re not jaw-dropping anymore. In fact, they’re downright laughable — especially the final scene when Schwarzenegger and Rachel Ticotin are outside on the planet without face-masks and their eyeballs start to burst.

And this was only 1990!

But seeing this was fascinating to me. In fact, this is a very large part of the pleasure of movies for me: seeing how times, and perspectives, change. This is impossible if the movie itself has changed since you watched it the first time. One of the great pleasures we derive from movies ceases to be.

Besides, special effects are constantly improving by leaps and bounds, and it’s a fool’s errand for a director to keep them updated. Where does it stop? Re-editing a movie every ten years?

Which, of course, brings us to Star Wars.

In 1997, George Lucas famously reedited the original trilogy, adding new (old) footage and GCI effects that he said were much closer to his original vision.

At the time, he said:

There will only be one [version]. And it won’t be what I would call the “rough cut,” it’ll be the “final cut.” The other one will be some sort of interesting artifact that people will look at and say, “There was an earlier draft of this.” The same thing happens with plays and earlier drafts of books. In essence, films never get finished, they get abandoned. At some point, you’re dragged off the picture kicking and screaming while somebody says, “Okay, it’s done.” That isn’t really the way it should work.

And at the time, I agreed with him enthusiastically. I loved the new edit. Wow, look how big Mos Eisley is now! Whoa, that’s a new scene of Jabba with Han next to the Millennium Falcon!

But like virtually every decision Lucas has made since about 1982, he just couldn’t have been more wrong, could he? Movies do get finished — they have to be. And that’s exactly the way it should work.

Why? Well, have you tried watching the 1997 re-edits lately? I have, and it’s the same great 1970s/1980s movies you remember — with a bunch of very incredibly outdated 1997 CGI thrown in.

In other words, special effects have since changed again, and now the movies look clunky. Not just that, they feel confused. Is this a movie from 1977? 1997?

Okay, sure, maybe it’s one thing to do another “cut” of the film, like James Cameron did with his 1996 version of Aliens, even adding back original footage that had to be cut for a theatrical release due to time constraints. In the case of Aliens, learning about Ripley’s dead daughter does make the movie much richer. Peter Jackson’s additions to The Lord of the Rings made those movies richer too.

And obviously these movies have to be re-mastered for Blu-Ray releases. Frankly, I respect these directors enough to let them tinker with their babies a bit — providing they keep the original look, tone, and internal consistency of the original movie.

But literally re-doing the special effects and completely changing scenes, as both George Lucas and Robert Wise did with their movies?

As trendy as it’s been, it’s a terrible idea. And as the years go by, it will become increasingly obvious just how terrible it is.

Well, this week’s flame has sputtered out, but join me again next time when I promise I won’t be nearly so cranky.

Oh, who am I kidding?!

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• Happy belated birthday to that lovable plumber, Mario! IGN takes a lengthy look at the most recognizable character in videogaming. (Sorry, Link.)

• I didn’t even know there was a True Blood comic, but io9 gives us the dirt on the latest issue, co-written by Alan Ball himself, as well as a bunch of other funny books.

• Ain’t it Cool News has a neat recurring column called Behind the Scenes Pic of the Day, where they show things like … this. Any Star Wars fan should instantly recognize this puppet.

• While we’re on the subject of Star Wars, someone with way too much time on their hands figured out it was actually a TIE fighter pilot (they were the bad guys) who saved the day at the end of A New Hope. This has to be seen to be believed.

• Planning your next vacay? Make sure to avoid the Most Dangerous Places in Comics!

• I’m a huge Mortal Kombat fan, and one word I would never think to use to describe the characters in that game is “cute.” Until now.

• Finally, here’s a hilarious book trailer (I love that that’s a thing now) for Night of the Living Trekkies, which from the trailer I gather is about a Star Trek convention as the setting for a battle against zombies. Engage!

The months leading up to the holidays are always spilling over with game releases, and this year’s no different. To aid in your game-buying decisions, here’s a short list of high-profile or highly anticipated fantasy games being released in the next two months.

Sid Meier’s Civilization V (Sep. 21 PC) — The latest installment in the Civilization series is one of the year’s most anticipated PC game releases. In the single-player and multiplayer game, “players strive to become Ruler of the World by establishing and leading a civilization from the dawn of man into the space age, waging war, conducting diplomacy, discovering new technologies, going head-to-head with some of history’s greatest leaders and building the most powerful empire the world has ever known.”

While the graphics and some gameplay features have been improved, Civilization V doesn’t appear to be significantly different from Civilization IV. That’s not necessarily bad, if you like the series as-is. You can check it out for yourself by downloading the demo, which will be released on the same day as the game.

Final Fantasy XIV Online (Sep. 30 PC, PS3 next March) — Judging by the rush of people who overloaded the open beta two weeks ago, a lot of people are looking forward to this MMO RPG. The latest iteration of the Japanese fantasy series uses a skill-based progression system similar to FF II, balances group and solo play, and develops your character partly by the weapons you use.

Unfortunately, the user interface is clumsy to the point of frustration at times. Whether that’s enough to deter Final Fantasy fans remains to be seen.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (Oct. 5 Xbox/PS3) — This series reboot is an action adventure game in a fantasy setting in Southern Europe during the Middle Ages, with 50 levels of combat, platforming and puzzles.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow appears more similar to Darksiders and Gods of War than to the recently released Castlevania arcade game. That’s great for gamers who prefer more immersive gameplay, but not so great for a game trying to stand out in a crowd.

Arcania Gothic 4 (Oct. 12 Xbox/PS3/PC) — This fantasy action game features 30 to 50 hours of gameplay as a nameless shepherd-turned-swordsman, archer or wizard trying to avenge the death of your family and friends by the evil king.

Arcania Gothic fans will be happy to discover the technical difficulties that plagued the game’s third installment appear to have been overcome, and the game should attract new players now that it will finally be available on consoles, as well (previous Arcania games have only been available on PC).

Fable III (Oct. 26 Xbox) — In the latest game in this open-world fantasy franchise, you return to Albion as the brother or sister of an evil king, and must convince villages to support your stand against him by completing many, many tasks. With an interesting if not exactly original story, an improved user interface, better-looking characters, and even better-looking graphics, Fable fans of the series will find much to like in this game.

The game will also be released on PC sometime in Q4. For more details, read my gameplay preview.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II (Oct. 26 Xbox/PS3/Wii/PC) — The sequel takes place six months after the events of the first game, and once again follows the story of Darth Vader’s secret apprentice Starkiller as he searches for his love interest from the first game, Juno, and seeks to understand his identity after his betrayal by Vader.

The gameplay has been improved, but otherwise there doesn’t appear to be many major differences between Unleashed I and II.

Disney Epic Mickey (Nov. 1 Wii) — Battle enemies and the environment with paint and paint-thinner in this creative RPG platform game that emphasizes the mischievous side of the famous mouse.

But don’t let the Disney name fool you — with a solid user interface, and a morality system similar to the Mass Effect games, Epic Mickey is likely to be popular with kids of all ages.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood (Nov. 16 Xbox/PS3/PC) — The next installment in the excellent open-world action-adventure series set in Renaissance Italy picks up where the previous game left off, as Ezio goes to Rome to build an Assassin’s Guild to fight the Templars. While there are several gameplay improvements, the ability to recruit, train and equip assassins (including female ones!) is probably the game’s biggest change.

The multiplayer beta opens up on Oct. 4 to select PS3 gamers.

If you’re looking for even more games to play, check out these upcoming sci-fi/fantasy-esque games: Halo: Reach (Sep. 14 Xbox), Dead Rising 2 (Sep. 28 Xbox), Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (Oct. 5 Xbox/PS3) and Vanquish (Oct. 19 Xbox/PS3).

Sarah Warn runs EntertainHer.com. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

In the upcoming movie version of Shakespeare’s fantasy epic The Tempest, Helen Mirren is playing the lead role of the sorceress Prospera. But as any fans of the Bard know, the part is actually supposed to be Propero, a male magician. Apparently, Mirren came to director Julie Taymor with the idea of playing this historically male role, and the rest is history.

While this will certainly be a different Tempest than we’ve seen before, the gender switch will be the only change made to the text (aside from a few cuts, which are necessary for all movie Shakespeare adaptations). But all it takes is that tiny tweak to completely change how the story fits together.

This got us thinking here at the offices of TheTorchOnline.com. There are many fantasy stories out there that would feel quite a bit different if the main characters were suddenly the opposite gender of what we’re used to. Here we take a look at five of the most interesting of these gender-bending possibilities.

Darth Vader

Spoiler alert — Darth Vader is totally Luke’s dad. But think how interesting (and progressive) it would have been if the one person in all the universe to ultimately bring balance to The Force was a woman. And just picture it: “Luke … I am your mother.”

It certainly would have shifted our perception of the relationship between Vader and Palpatine if it was Anaka Skywalker eventually turning into Darth Mader, bringing a potential sexual overtone. And let’s be honest, Star Wars could use a few more powerful female characters.

Frodo

Quick, how many female hobbits can you name? If you have more than Rosie Cotton and Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, you’ve already got me, and I imagine many others, beat.

Much of the power of The Lord of the Rings stems from the fact that J.R.R. Tolkien created, as his hero, a lowly hobbit. But imagine if Tolkien had extended that sense of the underdog just a little further, and wound up with the natural conclusion: the hobbit that saved the world was female! That would certainly add a feminine touch to a massively male-dominated world, not to mention putting a new spin on the relationship between our new heroine and the ever-stalwart Sam.

Xena

Xena: Warrior Princess was a ground-breaking show for many reasons, but probably the primary one was that it took the rich world of Greek mythology and put a female action hero at the center of all the gods and monsters. So it probably wouldn’t be that great of an idea to switch up the gender of the main characters, especially considering the show was spun off from the inferior Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, which was set in the same universe but with a man as the main character. Besides, there’s always the risk it might turn out like this:

Buffy

Oh, Buffy. The matriarch of the modern-day vampire crazy. The (formerly) one and only Slayer. Buffy Summers holds a special place in many a heart, largely due to her reluctant-savior routine. The running gag of the entire show was taking a stock character in horror films — the dumb valley girl — and turning her into the main hero, complete with epic powers.

But what if the Slayer had been born a guy? (Yes, I know, this doesn’t fit in with the mythos — this is just an experiment.) A surfer dude himbo or burn-out skater would fit equally well into the victim role in a horror movie, so how cool would it be to see a guy like that going stake-happy on all the vamps in Sunnydale?

Superman

And here it is: the big one.

Superman is, of course, the stuff of legend, the great-grandpappy of the modern day superhero. So what if the iconic man with the big S on his chest had a chest of a decidedly more feminine shape?

Honestly, the story wouldn’t change that much. Assuming this new Superwoman is heterosexual, she would probably end up falling for Jimmy Olsen instead of Lois Lane, but that’s about it, I’d imagine. An interesting storyline would be a rivalry/friendship with Wonder Woman, similar to Superman’s relationship with Batman.

Who knows? Maybe in the years to come, some rebellious storytellers will come around and re-imagine these stories with gender-switched leads. Until then, we can only speculate.

• I was one of the movie-goers appalled at the “remake” (he says snidely) of Clash of the Titans. It was a hot mess that suffered horribly in the reviews. So of course the sequel is full speed ahead!

• Now that my daily dose of vitriol is out of the way, we can move on. By now we all know that wizard Radagast the Brown will be featured in The Hobbit. And now, thanks to The One Ring, we may know who’s playing him!

• Four new actors have signed on to meet their tragic and gruesome ends in the fifth Final Destination flick, to be called 5nal Destination. Heat Vision tells us David Koechner, Nicholas D’Agosto, P.J. Byrne and Ellen Wroe make up the latest batch of victims.

• Well, here’s something that never occurred to me. Does Christopher Nolan have a woman problem?

• Wanna see something really bizarre and have almost an hour to kill? Behold: Star Wars meets Indiana Jones: The Stunt Show.

• The always dependable Cracked gives us 7 Iconic Characters They Saved From the Cutting Room Floor.

• Finally, in the category of “Things Almost Too Awesome to Exist,” I present to you … the Yoda Cake!

That’s a cake!!!