Four and a Half Torches (Out of Five)
Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Red Serpent” (premiere) episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand.
I have been waiting all my life to see a show like this!
The much-hyped new show from Starz, Spartacus: Blood and Sand, has been making waves for its claims to be boundary-pushing when it comes to nudity and violence, and be a show unlike any other you’ve seen on television.
And guess what? A true rarity in the world of advertising: it’s all true.
From the team that brought you Xena: Warrior Princess, and is currently bringing you Legend of the Seeker, Spartacus feels like a mish-mash of Xena, 300, Gladiator, and Rome, taking some of the best parts of those shows while at the same time forging something entirely new.
The first episode is your classic origin/set-up pilot: we meet Spartacus as a brave, young Thracian soldier, reluctantly obeying the commands of the Roman centurion, Glaber (Craig Parker, who is no stranger to genre fans: His roles include Bellerophon on Xena, Haldir in Lord of the Rings, and currently Darken Rahl on Legend of the Seeker.)
The Thracians are only working with Romans to help defeat a common enemy, but it turns out Glaber really only wants to use the Thracians as muscle to fight off another enemy contingent of Greeks. When the plan becomes obvious, Spartacus (who is actually not named Spartacus, but we’re never told his real name) and his men give the Romans a sick beat-down, and head home to protect their villages.
Spartacus arrives home just in time to save his wife from invading marauders, and as it turns out, she’s pretty handy with a sword herself. (This is the same team that championed Xena, Gabrielle, Kahlan, and Cara, remember.) But while his wife is safe, his village is burned to the ground.
Spartacus and his wife, Sura, mourn the death of their neighbors by having crazy naked sex in the snow. The afterglow is cut short, however, when who should arrive but that nasty Glaber, whose men tear the lovers apart and knock Spatacus out with a conk on the head.
Spartacus is taken to Capua, a city in the Roman Empire, where he is forced to become a gladiator. He fights off four armed and armored gladiators with just a sword, wearing only a loincloth. But this is Spartacus, the champion of men! So hearing his wife’s voice in his head, he obliterates his would-be killers, the crowd goes wild, and a star is born.
The proprieter of a second-tier gladiator school, looking to make a name for himself, offers to buy Spartacus from the Roman senator Albinius, who agrees. And thus begins out journey…
The good:
Where do I begin? This show is like a double shot of espresso mixed with Mountain Dew after a decade of drinking decaf instant coffee and watered down herbal tea. The visual style, though reminiscent of 300, is truly its own animal. Yes, both projects use ample amounts of green screen, but Spartacus has a palette of its very own, and the freeze-frame-animated-blood moments, which are clearly meant to recall the pages of a comic book, are a visual feast.
Many film projects have sought to capture the “living graphic novel” aesthetic, Sin City and 300 being the most recent. But none have really got it in the way that Spartacus does. From the concise dialogue to the lush backgrounds, it really feels like you’re watching a comic book come to life.
Andy Whitfield has the “it” factor in spades, and there’s no doubt he’ll have zero problems carrying this show on his muscley, oiled-up shoulders. Craig Parker is a sneering villain, which seems to be his specialty. (Even as the good-guy elf Haldir, he had a certain bristly coldness.) And Lucy Lawless, who was unfortunately allocated to a cameo in the first ep, is fantastic as the enigmatic Lucretia.
Now, if it’s so good, why does the show not rate the full five stars? As it happens, I’ve also seen later episodes, which are even better than the first. And if a show’s awesomeness is being judged only against its own awesomeness, you know you’re on solid ground.
The bad:
The first episode of a show can be tricky, as there’s a lot to establish, and although I really loved every minute of it, it did feel like they were trying very hard to show us that “this pushes all boundaries!” Believe it or not, it was mostly the swearing that got me, which is odd, because I love swearing. I love it. But after the 97th f-word within the first ten minutes, I thought, “Okay, I get it.”
Some expository scenes dragged a little, particularly when Glaber is visited by his wife in the Roman army camp. She sneaks in, kisses him, and gigglingly asks “What if I’d been an assassin?”
Which made me think, “Then I’d be a lot more invested in this scene.” But I suppose a show does, after all, require some plot.
Finally, there was not NEARLY enough Lucy Lawless for my taste. But that changes in the second episode.
Final thoughts:
This show kicks serious ass. We needed something like this. And thanks to Rob Tapert, Sam Raimi, and the powers that be, we finally got it!
