After a brief slow-down following the end of the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, vampires are back in a major way, largely due to the huge popularity of HBO’s adult-themed True Blood and the vapid tween sensation Twilight.
Vampires can be used as metaphors for a number of human conditions, but these days bloodsuckers are mostly about one thing: sex. Sometimes the sexuality is dark and goth, sometimes steamy, and occasionally, even funny. Here are seven choice moments that bring to light the libidinous longings of the creatures of the night.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Cordy is the Meat in a Vamp Sandwich
In the ninth episode of season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, valley girl Cordelia makes a wish that inadvertently brings her into an alternate universe where vampires are running Sunnydale. She soon encounters new versions of her old pals, including Willow and Xander, who in this reality have been turned into vampires. Not good for Cordy, as the vampire couple apparently get their ya-yas by sucking the blood out of humans together in a frightening menage a tois.
Queen of the Damned - Vampire nesting
Based on the book of the same name by Anne Rice, Queen of the Damned is reviled by purists of Anne Rice’s works, as well as anyone who likes their movies to be, you know, good. One of the few saving graces is a steamy bit of vampire lovemaking that occurs right before the climax (insert joke here), featuring the hot bodies of Stuart Townsend and the late Aaliyah.
Bram Stoker’s Dracula - Pretty much all of it
Bram Stoker’s Dracula was a sumptuous feast for the eyes, and almost every panel drips with eroticism, from Jonathan Harker’s visit to Dracula’s mansion in which he is accosted by three randy vampire women, to a somewhat laughable scene in which the character of Lucy has an indecent liaison with Dracula while in werewolf form. But the real focus is on Dracula’s (Gary Oldman) intense and undying love for Mina Harker (Wynona Ryder), and their onscreen chemistry is definitely to be remembered.
Interview with a Vampire - Lestat chows down on Louis
Within the first few minutes of Interview with a Vampire, we meet Brad Pitt’s Louis, see how he is miserable with his life, and watch as he is turned into a vampire by the outrageous Lestat, played by Tom Cruise. But rather than resembling your typical monster movie attack, the look on Louis’ face is one of erotic ecstasy, and Anne Rice’s view of vampiric intimacy immediately becomes manifest.
Underworld: Evolution - Selene and Michael…hide out
One of my favorite horror movie cliches is that when the good guys momentarily escape from the bad guys, instead of making sure they’re safe and creating plans to further distance themselves from danger, they instead figure now’s a good a time as any to knock boots. In Underworld: Evolution, vampire Selene and vampire-werewolf-hybrid Michael do just that, and in the back of a truck no less! Despite the contrivance, it’s probably the best scene in the whole movie.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Buffy loses her neck virginity to Angel
Sure, Buffy lost her actual virginity to Angel a year and a half prior, but that was tender, Sarah McLachlan lovemaking. The real heat came at the end of the third season (arguably the series’ best) when Buffy had Angel drink her super-duper Slayer blood to cure him of a deadly poison. With close-ups of hands on bodies and eyes rolling in ecstasy, the scene was shot like a sex scene, and after the series finale ended, we all wiped a tear from our eye…then took a cold shower.
True Blood - Bill claws his way out of the ground for some Sookie nookie
There’s a reason True Blood airs on HBO, and much has been made of the occasionally gratuitous nudity and sex scenes. Me, I’m not complaining. But whatever your inclination, no one could argue it was not absolutely essential to the plot when in one episode, genteel vampire Bill is thought to be dead, and his lover, Sookie, wanders the graveyard, distraught. Turns out he was just underground, healing, and sensing that she’s near, he emerges from the dirt, naked, and grabs for his mortal love. Fear turns quickly to arousal for Sookie, and, well, you know what happens next.
But these are just seven examples of just how hot the cold-blooded can get. Feel free to share some of your own!
![[Bloglines]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/bloglines.png)
![[Digg]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Fark]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/fark.png)
![[Google]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[Squidoo]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/squidoo.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Windows Live]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/windowslive.png)
![[Yahoo!]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/yahoo.png)
![[Email]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
The sequel to Ben Stiller’s Night at the Museum opens this week, cumbersomely titled Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. In the first film, Larry, a divorced dad played by Stiller, ends up as a night watchmen at the Museum of Natural History. What sets the movie’s plot in motion by magically causing all the museum’s creatures and statues to come to life? Something called the Tablet of Akmenrah from Ancient Egypt.
Egypt has been creeping into fantastical cinema almost since the dawn of film itself. Certainly most famous was Boris Karloff as the title role in 1932’s The Mummy, one of the most iconic early horror films starring the actor who also played Frankenstein’s monster. This film was reimagined (isn’t that verb stale yet?) for 1999’s film of the same name starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz, a special effects-fueled blockbuster which spawned three sequels, including The Mummy Returns, which features a pretty awesome flashback scene in Ancient Egypt.
Anne Rice explored Egypt in her Vampire Chronicles, which were brought to the screen in 2002’s Queen of the Damned, starring the late Aaliyah as the first vampire, a Queen from ancient Egypt. It’s a bittersweet film to watch in light of the actress/singer’s untimely death, but despite the film itself being a tad subpar, Aaliyah herself puts on quite a show.
