(Three and a Half Torches out of Five)

Good news! With the release of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, the so-called “curse” that movie adaptations of video games must always suck is broken.

Well, sorta.

The movie is a big, splashy, summer fantasy movie and, for the most part, it works.

I’ll go so far as to say that it’s the best live-action fantasy movie of the year so far (but, of course, given the long stream of disasters and disappointments, like A Nightmare on Elm Street, Clash of the Titans, Alice in Wonderland, The Lightning Thief, and The Wolfman, that really isn’t saying much).

The problem with Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is that we’ve seen it all before.

Boy, have we seen it all before: the hero whose true nobility isn’t recognized, the plucky princess, the bickering lovers-who-don’t-know-they’re-in-love, the simmering villain motivated by “being evil,” the comic relief side-kick, and the big, explosive, nick-of-time finale.

It all looks great, the movie moves, but storywise, there’s simply nothing new here.

As a boy, the orphan Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) so impresses a king in sixth century Persia that he makes him a prince. Years later, the kingdom is threatened by a rival city, and the king’s princes go to war. But might not the real threat to the king be coming from somewhere closer to the throne?

Soon Dastan discovers a magical item, The Dagger of Time, that, when activated, can turn time back for one minute. But the “guardian” of the dagger, Princess Tamina, warns that someone might want to use the dagger for more nefarious ends.

Still, Gyllenhaal and Gemma Arterton, who plays Princess Tamina (and who played a similar role in Clash of the Titans), have a real chemistry, and Alfred Molina is pretty funny as the comic relief sick-kick.

(Incidentally, if you watched the brilliant U.K. show Coupling, you’ll recognize the actor who played Jeff, Richard Coyle, in a very different role here.)

For the record, I wasn’t sure why Gyllenhaal (and Arterton) had British-like accents in sixth century Persia, nor why most of the leads are Caucasian, not Arabic, but what the hey. (It’s unintentionally funny when Arterton, who has the darker skin, accuses Gyllenhaal of being a creature of the desert.)

And since the movie has a “turn back time” theme, I expected that to play heavily into the plot. It’s a factor, and the effect looks fantastic, but truthfully, the concept is wasted — not used nearly as cleverly as in the last big time-themed movie, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azbakan.

I’ve never played Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (the video game), so I can’t comment on how successful an adaptation of the game it is. But I gather it involves a lot of running around on rooftops?

If these pictures mean anything, the key word for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is “action.” The movie opens May 28th.

• It’s well established that I don’t watch Lost, but I think I’ve discovered the mystery that even I want an answer to from the show: How is every single actor/actress on the show the exact same height?

• Stan Lee and Avi Arad sat down to talk about the future of the Marvel catalog, and they seem to think that the next major Marvel hero we’ll see is Doctor Strange.

• The same interview had Stan expressing significant reservations about Chris Evans playing both the Human Torch and Captain America. He’s really glad he’s not the producer.

• In this featurette for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, we spend some time meeting the Hassansins, the mystical assassins that populate this world, each with their own unique weapon.

• Artist Ryan Mauskopf wonders what happens when you bring the Greek myths into the modern world – Icarus vs. a 747, or Medusa trying to see the dentist. Here we have Hermes getting pulled over for speeding.

• In the fourth week of release, How to Train Your Dragon regained the top spot with $20 million, edging out raunchy super hero comedy Kick-Ass with $19.8 million in preliminary returns. Kick-Ass had been anticipating a $30 million opening, so any sequels may be out the window.

• Torchwood’s Ianto Jones is coming back to life – at least for a comic in the latest Torchwood Magazine. Gareth David-Lloyd penned the story, saying he felt who knew the character best.

• Trading on some old myths, Colin Farrell stars in Ondine about a sailor who catches a beautiful woman in his fishing net, believing her to be dead. When she comes to life before his eyes, they begin an adventure that changes his life – at least until her Selkie husband comes from the sea to reclaim her.

• Remember that insane picture by Andrew Zubko, with Batman with the lightsaber fighting the giant shark? Well, the Portland Mercury paper ran a contest to have the readers say what they wanted Andrew to draw for the cover. The winning entry simply said “Betty White holding a flaming chainsaw riding John Ritter” but the execution is so much more than that.

• I’m super-excited about the HBO series based on George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones. Despite the fact that George R.R. Martin is not my bitch, I anxiously await both the series and the next book. But the news that HBO actually hired a language expert to invent a language for the horse warrior Dothraki people made my day. New languages are world-building at its finest. Hopefully it doesn’t end up sounding “athastokhdeveshizaroon.”

• I’m pleased that the actors did their own stunts in Prince of Persia. I’m not pleased that the movie looks like it could act as a sleep aid – is that just me?

• On a list of 5 Shows That Will Get Me To Watch TV Again, the author has two that fit as genre series: The Walking Dead is the adaptation of the zombie comic, the Untitled Alien Invasion Series is by Steve Spielberg, who only missteps occasionally. Me, I’m holding out for M*A*S*H: Iraq. That’s worth paying for cable to see.

• If you didn’t already love J.K. Rowling for giving the world Harry Potter, her reasons for remaining a British citizen despite her wealth will likely give you a warm fuzzy:

….A second reason, however, was that I am indebted to the British welfare state — the very one that Mr. Cameron would like to replace with charity handouts. When my life hit rock bottom, that safety net, threadbare though it had become under John Major’s Government, was there to break the fall. I cannot help feeling, therefore, that it would have been contemptible to scarper for the West Indies at the first sniff of a seven-figure royalty cheque. This, if you like, is my notion of patriotism.

• In another odd Harry Potter tangent, Daniel Radcliffe is returning to Broadway after he wraps Deathly Hallows and this time he sings! He’ll starring in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying.

• Aasif Mandvi, who I was completely unaware of, played Commander Zhao in the upcoming Avatar: The Last Airbender, tweeted some reshoots were underway, and a new character was being added. Please let it be the Cabbage Merchant!

• My fellow Palantir-er, Tim O’Leary let you have the news that Joss Whedon was going to direct The Avengers. Now comes the news that he might also be rewriting the screenplays for both The Avengers and Captain America. It makes sense – Joss is a great writer, understands genre work, and the Marvel films need to start having a common feel if they’re to come together in The Avengers.

• If you haven’t read Neal Stephenson’s insanely good Anathem, I highly recommend it. I also recommend you go and check out the Long Now Foundation’s 10,000 Year Clock which featured in the book and is now real. No point in thinking small like the Mayans did, now is there?

• I hate myself for caring about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, but I’m really excited to see the movie, despite my aversion to Nic Cage. The WonderCon panel did not put me off the film.

• My contempt for reboots of franchises is fairly well known in cyberspace. But even I’m struck by the concept of rebooting a book. Has anyone ever had the guts to do it? I suppose you could argue Wicked was a reboot of The Wizard of Oz. But it was a huge media property – I’ve never heard of Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper. But Jon Scalzi is going to reboot the books. And he has the permission of the estate. And it may be science fiction, but that looks more like a demon than an alien on the cover. Who knows if this is a good idea?

• Here’s an odd one. This is the trailer for a short called Hector, Inc. which seems to have some paranormal stuff, magic, and a demonic penguin, all in an office setting. Suitably strange?

• There’s an interesting question brewing at io9.com about which franchise has the most rabid fans. They lump science fiction and fantasy in together, which I think is a little sloppy. So what about fantasy – which fans are craziest? Doctor Who, which has been making time travel possible through a living space ship for so many years? What about Twilight? Their fans are unreasonably supportive, but fairly recent. True Blood? Harry Potter? Can we lump in D&D? What fantasy franchise has the mostly insanely loyal fanbase? What sets it apart – longevity, role playing, merchandising? Tell us in the comments.

• Speaking of Doctor Who, here are some clips from “The Victory of the Daleks” which should be airing this weekend in the U.K. It seems an odd take on an old enemy.

Have a great weekend!

2010 is shaping up to be an exciting year for fantasy fans. There are at least 15 films slated for release this year, and we’ve got a full preview!

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Lightning Thief
Release date: Feb. 12
Based on the best-selling series by Rick Riordan, Lightning Thief tells the story of Percy Jackson, an American teenager afflicted with ADHD and dyslexia, who discovers on a school field trip that he is the son of Poseidon. (You know, the god of sea and earthquakes. The angriest of the Big Three.) Percy’s mission is to find Zeus’ stolen lightning bolt and prevent a civil war from breaking out among the gods — who, by the way, have moved Olympus from the mythical mountain to the mythical 600th floor of The Empire State Building. Percy also has to rescue his mother from the Underworld, and — presumably — wrestle with the tourists that swarm The Empire State building every Valentine’s Day.

The Wolfman
Release date: Feb. 12
The Wolfman has a long, proud history of scarring the crap out of anyone willing to leave home on the night when the wolfbane blooms. The film has been remade five times since its 1924 debut, and each time it falls firmly in the “horror” category. In this incarnation, Oscar winners Benicio Del Toro and Anthony Hopkins team up as Lawrence Talbot and Sir John Talbot, a haunted father and son team searching for their missing brother/son. Lawrence finds himself falling in love with his brother’s fiance, and then falling under the spell of the full moon. We’re holding out hope for a special guest appearance by Michael J. Fox, surfing by the sleepy Victorian hamlet of Blackmoor on top of a van.

Alice in Wonderland
Release date: Mar. 5
In Tim Burton’s vividly re-imagined Alice in Wonderland, Alice falls down the rabbit hole at the age of 19. She doesn’t remember ever having been to Wonderland before, but you can bet your shrinking potion that Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen remembers her. Alice reunites with the White Rabbit, Tweedledee and Tweedledum, the Dormouse, the Caterpillar, the Cheshire Cat, and of course, the Mad Hatter. (Played by Michael Sheen, Matt Lucas, Barbara Windsor, Alan Rickman, Stephen Fry and Johnny Depp, respectively.) The teaser trailer promised stunning visuals and the second trailer actually hinted at an engaging plot. Disney will be offering the film in their patented Digital 3D, just in case you missed out on attending a rave when you were in college.

Season of the Witch
Release Date: Mar. 19
Nicholas Cage plays a battle-worn and weary Crusader who returns to Europe for supplies, only to find himself recruited by a dying Cardinal. His mission is to escort a young woman to a remote abbey where she will stand trial for being a witch. Only this peasant is not your run of the mill Salem sorcerer; no, this witch is responsible for The Black Plague. Can Cage decode the map on the back of the Magna Carta in time to discover the secret message on the inside of King Arthur’s chalice in time to unlock the sacred chisel with which he must carve the answers to the world’s toughest Sudoku? And can he do it in time to save the entire continent from death? Oh, these are the Dark Ages indeed!

Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang
Release date: Mar. 25
As the star, screenwriter and producer of this sequel, Emma Thompson has made Nanny McPhee her pet project. The film’s official description reads “A group of children are evacuated from the city to a farm during wartime, where they encounter Nanny McPhee, the magic-wielding governess.” So, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe meets Mary Poppins. Unfortunately, Thompson was so preoccupied with the role, that she couldn’t find time to return as Professor Trelawney in the final installment of Harry Potter. It’s a hard pill to swallow considering that Ralph Fiennes (Lord Voldemort himself) is headlining Thompson’s Big Bang.

Clash of the Titans
Release date: Mar. 26
Another remake of a beloved fantasy classic, Clash of the Titans follows Perseus (born of a god, raised by a man) as he risks his life for the right to marry Princess Andromeda. He must battle Medusa and the Kraken monster as he follows his quest to forbidden worlds to defeat Hades (Ralph Fiennes) before the King of the Underworld can unseat Zeus (Liam Neeson). We don’t mind the remakes, as long as Clash of the Titans doesn’t fall victim to Hollywood’s latest fantasy craze: refusing to properly conclude a story, just in case the studio decides to fund a sequel. The only respectable exception would be the appearance of Kinopio Toad: “We’re sorry Perseus, but your Princess is in another castle.”

The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Release date: May 7
Poor Peter and Susan Pevensie, kicked out of Narnia for learning to shave and discovering makeup. But Edward and Lucy, played by Skandar Keynes and Georgie Henley (arguably the more talented of the four child stars who relaunched The Chronicles of Narnia) are back, and they’re bringing Prince Caspian with them. Unfortunately, they’re also bringing Narnia’s own Cousin Oliver, Eustace Clarence Scrubb. (We’re counting on Reepicheep to drown him out. Or just drown him.) Dawn Treader will follow the plot of C.S. Lewis’ original story: The younger Pevensies join forces with Caspian as he sails to the edge of the world, battling dufflepuds, slave traders, dragons, merfolk, and plenty of Christian symbolism along the way.

Iron Man 2
Release date: May 7
Robert Downey Jr’s celebrated Tony Stark is back in the second part of the Iron Man trilogy. This time, the whole world knows that the industrialist inventor is the man in the armored suit. The military, the American government and the media are all pushing him to share his technology with the world, but Stark knows enough about humanity to realize it’s a terrible idea. Don Cheadle will be taking over for Terrance Howard as James “Rhodey” Rhodes. And Gwyneth Paltrow will return as Pepper Potts. Unfortunately Pepper drives Stark to the brink of alcoholism when she gets a new boyfriend. Apparently even bazillionaires need a reminder that you shouldn’t operate heavy machinery while under the influence.

Robin Hood
Release date: May 14
When Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood hits theaters, it will be the tenth time the story has been adapted for the big screen. This incarnation follows the more traditional version of the story: Robin of Loxley, Earl of Huntington, returns to London after fighting in the Crusades to find that his village has been plundered at the hands of the Sheriff of Nottingham (Matthew Macfadyen). So, Robin forms a group of rough and tumble Merry Men to steal back their money and their land, and win the heart of Maid Marian (Cate Blanchett). Of course, the real question is whether or not the soundtrack can hope to compete with Bryan Adams’ “Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” from 1991’s Prince of Thieves. We’re guessing probably not.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Release date: May 28
A movie based on a video game? Why not; it worked for Angelina Jolie! In Prince of Persia, Jake Gyllenhaal plays Dastan, an Aladdin-like street-urchin in Medieval Persia. After showing unique valor in battle, the King adopts Dastan and sends him off to reclaim the Sands of Time (a gift from the gods that, um, controls the sands of time). Prince of Persia is the fourth Disney/Bruckheimer collaboration, and if the team’s other films (all three Pirates of the Caribbean) are any indication, it should enjoy plenty of mainstream success. And cross-promotion with Happy Meals. And Legos. And graphic novels. And, of course, another video game.

Jonah Hex
Release date: June 18
D.C. is auctioning off its lesser-known heroes right and left these days. Jonah Hex is a caustic, curmudgeonly, former Confederate States Army soldier whose face is scarred almost beyond recognition. He’s got all of the swagger of Clint Eastwood, without any of the charm. Josh Brolin stars as Hex in the movie adaptation, along with John Malkovich as Quentin Turnbull (the bad guy), and Megan Fox as a trigger-happy prostitute. Er, trigger-happy with the guns. Actual guns. Revolvers. Turnbull’s plan is a Civil War do-over, and Hex has been hired as the bounty hunter who must shut him down. The plot sounds almost as plausible as Malkovich with a southern accent. We totally buy Megan Fox’s role, though.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Release date: June 30
We haven’t really heard much about this movie. It’s apparently some kind of adaptation of a vampire romance novel. There may have been some movies before this one, but they must have flopped at the box office. From what we’ve heard, there’s a vampire with some wicked crazy hair, and a werewolf who refuses to wear a shirt, and a helpless girl who sits in her room listening to emo music and writing fan fiction about herself. We also heard something about sparkles and middle-aged women wearing t-shirts to support either the wicked hair or the abs. If any other information becomes available, we’ll let you know. This thing will probably go straight to DVD, though.

The Last Airbender
Release date: July 2
M. Night Shyamalan directing a Nickelodeon movie? Who’d have guessed it? (Us, actually. M. Night Shyamalan sees dollar signs.) The Last Airbender is a live-action adaptation of the super popular Nick cartoon series Avatar: The Last Airbender. The premise of the cartoon is that Earth, Fire, Water and Air can be controlled by “benders.”  Aang is the Avatar, and the last surviving member of Air Nomads. His purpose is to restore balance and overthrow the Fire Nation’s Admiral Zhao, but first he must learn to focus and bend all of the elements. Fortunately, the creators of the series left out the fifth element, Heart. That poor kid with the Heart ring on Captain Planet had the lamest superpower ever.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Release date: July 16
Nicholas Cage is back with more fantasy, this time in a live-action adaptation of the “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” scene from Disney’s Fantasia. (You remember? Mickey and those crazy mops!) Cage plays Balthazar Blake, a master sorcerer who sets out to protect his city from an evil wizard. He recruits a young apprentice, Dave Stutler (Jay Baruchel) to help him. After a crash-course in magic (and what could possibly go wrong when you put those two words together?), Stutler joins Blake’s quest in a Disney-esque battle of Good versus Evil. The film looks to be a lot less trippy than the actual “Sorcerer’s Apprentice” from Fantasia. So if you’re looking for a mind-bend, you’ll have to watch Burton’s Alice in Wonderland on DVD.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1
Release date: Nov 17
If you thought Dumbledore’s death was tragic, wait until the first five minutes of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, when Harry’s beloved and loyal companion, Hedwig, gets (spoiler alert) blasted out of the sky. As promised, Harry, Ron and Hermione don’t return for their seventh year at Hogwarts. Instead they must decode Dumbledore’s mission for them from beyond the grave while trying to find and destroy the fragments of Voldemort’s soul that he’s hidden in horcruxes around the country. The path toward victory is strewn with casualties and heartbreak. Even the unshakable trio will find themselves turning against one another. Director David Yates is sticking with the films until the final expelliarmus.

Tron Legacy
Release date: Dec. 17
Tron Legacy is the nerdgasmic sequel to Disney’s 1982 film. Jeff Bridges return as Kevin Flynn, and and Bruce Boxleitner will reprise his roles as Alan Bradley and Tron. Garrett Hedlund will take over as Kevin’s now-adult son, Sam, who gets sucked into the same world his father disappeared into 25 years earlier. (We knew he was alive!) The father/son team join forces and traverse the treacherous cyber terrain, which has become much more sophisticated since we last saw it.

Obviously, a tie-in video game will be released in time for Christmas.

What 2010 fantasy film are you most looking forward to?

• The Los Angeles Times has an informative update on the “fourth” film in each of these fantasy franchises: Pirates of the Caribbean, the works of Tolkien, Spider-man, and X-Men.

• James Cameron is an insane genius (and, it sounds like, a bit full of himself). A great New Yorker profile of the filmmaker, and an another interesting piece on how the revolutionary CGI effects in his upcoming Avatar were done.

• By contrast, Terry Gilliam thinks 3-D and other expensive effects tend to corrupt movies: “You’re not there to disturb people when you’re given 200 million dollars — you’re there to reassure them.” God, I love that man.

• The Gathering Storm (the first book in the trilogy conclusion to The Wheel of Time) debuts at #1 this week on the New York Times and Publishers Weekly bestseller fiction hardcover lists, #2 on the Washington Post list, and #4 on the combined USA Today list. It’s a hit, but I still hate the cover.

• A writer visits the set of Voyage of the Dawn Treader and writes and talks about it — but isn’t allowed to take pictures! As the expression goes, a picture is worth a thousand words — maybe more.

• Locus interviews Superpowers author (and Nebula finalist) David Schwartz: “I got the sense from the reviews that Superpowers is a book people either like or really hate. I think a big part of that is the fans coming from the comic book/superhero angle seem to want villains and fights, and they don’t want the interpersonal drama.” As for me, I love the interpersonal drama in comic books.

• Have I mentioned lately how sick I am of the Twilight books? And we’re only on the second movie!

• Why is there suddenly all this news from Ian McKellen talking about The Hobbit? Because he’s out promoting his AMC mini-series The Prisoner (which airs on Sunday, and we’ll review this Friday), but everyone wants to ask him about Gandalf (except Whoopi Goldberg, who asked him about Dumbledore!). The thing is, McKellen hasn’t signed a contract yet and doesn’t really know much about the movie.

• Jake Gyllenhaal discusses his role in the upcoming Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, calling it “40 days and 40 nights of misery.” But in other ways, the role is just play-acting: “This is how you play when you’re a kid, and you go outside and I remember specifically many times I would go outside and be like, ‘I play him and you play him and let’s fight!’ And we’re just like doing that every day.”

• Eastwick has been canceled. Stop the presses!

• A ridiculously misleading headline alert for ComingSoon.net: “Is Aragorn Ready to Return to The Hobbit?” The article’s answer: well, the actor would, but there’s no role for him in the movies. How in the world do sites like this stay in business?

• It’s hard to say if this is a misleading headline or not: “Do we meet Dumbledore’s gay lover in the last Harry Potter films?” The article tells us the producers have hired an actor to play the role of Grindelwald, the man J.K. Rowling says Dumbledore loved, and the character appears in a vision in the film. But the article doesn’t say if his relationship to Dumbledore is any clearer in the movies than it is in the books (which would obviously be a big deal!).

• Realms of Fantasy (the fantasy fiction magazine) is back in business, and is now accepting art and fiction submissions.

• The 35th annual Saturn Awards have been announced, honoring the best in the year’s science fiction, fantasy, and horror. The six Fantasy Film Best Picture nominees are: (1) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, (2) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, (3) Hancock, (4) The Spiderwick Chronicles, (5) Twilight, and (6) Wanted. But as always, I’m struck by how few contenders there are in the genre categories, making me wonder: does virtually every film in that genre get nominated? And they really had to dig for the fantasy nominees: I mean, Benjamin Button as a “fantasy” film? Hancock? Wanted? (Weirdly, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, an actual fantasy-esque film, is nominated as a “horror” film.)

• Steven Spielberg has wrapped his 32-day performance-capture directing duties on The Adventures of Tintin: Secret of the Unicorn (the 2010 film adaptation of the internationally famous comic book Tintin, part of a three-film franchise). In an unusual arrangement, he’s passed the film to LotR director (and Tintin producer) Peter Jackson, who will spend the next 18 months working on the special effects. Weirdly, Spielberg will get the lone directing credit. The film’s “motion capture” technology is said to be revolutionary — and impossible to describe.

• Huffington Post has pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal (shirtless) from the movie Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (coming in May 2010).

• A live-action version of the classic animated Disney film The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (from Fantasia) is in the works, starring Nicholas Cage and Alfred Molina. This might not be a terrible idea — hey, maybe they could make a great sequel to Casablanca too. But it probably is a bad idea.

• Hey, I’m interviewing Legend of the Seeker’s Craig Horner tomorrow! Have questions for him? Email me here.