
Four Torches (Out of Five)
Warning: This review contains minor spoilers for the “Missio” episode of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.
I’d gotten so accustomed to the insane, boundary-pushing shenanigans of the Spartacus series last year that I forgot there’s simply no other show on television like it. Period. Sure, shows have attempted to push the boundaries of violence and sex before, but have you ever seen things like decapitations, eviscerations, dismemberment, alongside open gay sex, public masturbation, and orgies handled so … well, nonchalantly?
Spartacus continues to be a show like no other, and I have no doubt that in the coming years we’ll see shows attempt to emulate it, but fall short, as mimics often do.
Anyway, onto this particular episode. While the first episode was understandably heavy on exposition — a season premiere requires a fair amount of world-building, after all — we’re back on track with an action-packed episode. After the sick beat-down Batiatus received last week, he was itching to get his revenge on his two assailants. After this episode, one is down with one to go.
An intriguing new character arrived this season: Gaia, an old friend (and a very close one at that) of Lucretia’s. In the first episode she seemed more like an older version of a naughty schoolgirl, but after the ingeniously crafted character of Ilithyia last season, I had my eye on her, and sure enough, she revealed herself to be a web of ice-cold calculations under the beguiling smile and flighty facade.
The plot centers around a scheme by Batiatus to convince, through whatever means necessary, a wealthy patron named Varras to showcase Batiatus’ gladiators in his upcoming games, rather than his rivals’. Part of this scheme includes sending a gang of his new recruits — Ashur, the villainous scoundrel from Season 1 among them — to take out his rival, while Lucretia and Gaia are dispatched to seduce Varras into retreating from the sun to Batiatus’ villa. Lucretia, far from the willful femme fatale she becomes later on, is a bundle of nerves, while Gaia tells her to relax, and takes the lead.
Prequels are hard to pull off, because we know how the story ends, but one thing Spartacus is doing absolutely right is showing us virtually every character in a new way. Sure, we know what becomes of them, but this way, we enjoy the ride a whole lot more.
Once they succeed in luring Varras to the villa, the three of them work him over until he’s ready to choose one of Batiatus’ gladiators. The natural choice is Gannicus, the current champion, who impresses Varras with his defeat over Crixus, who will one day be the champion himself, of course.
And in a twist that only the writers of Spartacus would come up with, Batiatus then brings Gannicus to the chambers, clad only in a white tunic, and casually offers Varras an opportunity to have sex with him. Varras is certainly titillated, but drunk and under the influence of opium, would rather just watch Gannicus have sex with a nearby slave, who happens to be the wife of Gannicus’ friend.
Gaia, mind you, is interested in becoming Varras’ wife, social climber that she is, and yet she’s not put off in the slightest as Varras toys with having sex with a man, finally contenting himself to masturbate in everyone’s presence as Gannicus fornicates before his eyes.
To say this show is unique doesn’t even begin to do it justice. I’m pretty sure I never saw a scene like that in Two and a Half Men.
If there is a flaw in the series, it’s one of sad origin: without Andy Whitfield to anchor the show as a lead character, there’s a slightly meandering sense to the story, as though this is all subplot and we’ll eventually get to the A-story. Sure, Batiatus and Lucretia are delicious villains, but there’s a reason villains are seldom the protagonists, and while Gannicus is wonderfully cocky and full of hubris, the show doesn’t quite rest on his shoulders.
That having been said, I eagerly await the next installment.

Five years.
Q: So I must know: will Lucy Lawless be back in the second season — not the “prequel” — of Spartacus? Basically, did she die in the finale? — MAGPIE, Toronto, Canada
The Oracle Speaks:




Summer’s a great time, isn’t it? Gone are the long overcoats, the big fuzzy sweaters, and the scarves.










With Andy Whitfield, the star of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, recovering from cancer, the Starz channel has okayed 
A few years ago, I shivered with anticipation when I started seeing video of stuntmen and actors training for 300, which looked to be the most epically awesome movie I’d ever see.
I was cynical. I had lost my ability to believe. And I was wrong.
The show challenged the straight-washing of history that almost every Roman epic is guilty of by showing what is probably the first gay couple to ever exist in a filmed story about gladiators, the aforementioned Pietros and the alpha male, Barca. It showed that women could be unbelievably powerful in this male-dominated world if they were clever enough, as seen in the characters of Lucretia and Illyithia.
Sadly, the last few episodes were punctuated with the very real fact that Andy Whitfield, the handsome, charismatic, and utterly bad-ass lead actor, has been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Needless to say, his fan base is enormous after this season, and a lot of good will is being sent his way.
Wow. Wow! WOW!
The use of time-switching and flashbacks was a surprise, since the show hasn’t ever told a non-linear story before, but the surprise was more than welcome. What better way to send off the show by mixing it up a little?
It takes a lot to shock me — I grew up in the internet age, after all — but I literally found myself holding my breath as Crixus stabbed Lucretia’s belly, intent on killing a child that may very well be his. I’ve never seen something so viscerally terrifying, and while the show unexpectedly displayednuance by not focusing on the actual stab, the effect was still chilling.
One thing you can never accuse Spartacus: Blood and Sand of is false advertising. The show certainly gives us plenty of Spartacus, plenty of blood, and plenty of sand, and in the most recent episode, entitled “Revelations,” a whole butt-load of info was revealed.
After last week’s devastating episode, fans of Starz’ epic gladiator series were starting to squirm, wondering just how long we could take this. Week after week, something unbelievably awful happens to Spartacus and the rest of the gladiator’s in Batiatus’ ludus, which, given the body count, is the last place on earth you would ever want to be.
The show has certainly moved away from insane, 300-style action sequences in favor of palace intrigue, and I’m okay with that, especially when the plot becomes as riveting as it was in “Old Wounds.” Having definitively proven that no character is safe, the writers keep you on the edge of your seat, because the audience knows the plot can spin in a whole new direction in seconds.
As I’ve said before, one of the reasons why this show kicks so much ass is because it takes chances like few other shows ever do, and when the showrunner, Steven DeKnight, warns fans that no character is safe and anyone could die, he actually means it.
Cleverly, these moves and more, chess-like as they are, are symbolized in a central scene in which Batiatus and Spartacus play a rather chess-like board game, one based on military strategies. While Spartacus proves to be quite adept at battle strategy, we soon discover that once he’s off the game board and out of the battle field, he is easily, and tragically, out-maneuvered.
I can’t say I’m surprised that Varro died, since he never seemed to be a central character, but I was surprised it happened so soon (I had a expected a season finale death), and I was shocked by how it had happened. As soon as Numerius switched the bill, my heart leaped into my throat, because I knew this was the last time we’d see Varro. (And while I’m sure the actor portraying him, Jai Courtney, is saddened as well, he must be grateful to no longer have to bleach his hair.)