Back again for another highly opinionated — some might even say downright cranky — look at some element of the fantasy genre. You’ve been warned!

WHEN DID FANTASY STOP BEING ABOUT SWORDS AND SORCERY?

Whenever I tell people I edit a website devoted to fantasy-themed entertainment, they usually say the same thing: “Oh, wizards and sorcery and quests and stuff like that?”

Usually, I just nod and say, “Yup!”

But if I’m in the mood to give a more complicated answer (and if I think the listener actually wants to hear it!), I say, “Well, swords and sorcery are a part of it. But increasingly, traditional or ‘high’ fantasy is a smaller and smaller part of the genre. These days, it’s much more about contemporary or urban fantasy — anything that involves magic or the paranormal or supernatural in general. These days, most of the creative energy is around shows like Supernatural or vampire-themed projects like True Blood. If anything, swords and sorcery is becoming sort of the bastard stepchild to the genre.”

Let me pause here to say that I love swords and sorcery. It’s what drew me to the genre, and it’s still probably the fantasy sub-genre I love the most (indeed, this site and this column are named after it!).

But the fact is, when was the last time a “traditional” sword-and-sorcery fantasy project took the world, or even the geek world, by storm? Legend of the Seeker? We all know how that story ended up.

Sure, there’s George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Fire and Ice (soon to be an HBO series called A Game of Thrones). But that series’ claim to fame is its post-modern “realistic” bent — and its almost complete lack of magic. Spartacus: Blood and Sand, meanwhile, subverts the traditional genre with its explicit gore and (especially) its sex.

Harry Potter kept the sorcery — but put it in a traditional setting.

True, the Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia movie franchises are still going strong, but let’s face it: these projects are fueled, in large part, by nostalgia — by the desire of geeks like me to see their childhood passions finally fully realized on-screen, in a way they couldn’t be pre-CGI.

You can certainly still find high fantasy in fiction and in many video games — Dragon Age: Origins was deservedly a sensation. But you can also find plenty of urban and supernatural contemporary fantasy in both mediums as well.

Still, the swords-and-sorcery backlash became clear to me yet again last week when I was reviewing a new (pretty good) webseries called JourneyQuest. Basically, it’s a satire of all the traditional fantasy conventions, with the wizard, the warrior, and a villain all given modern, ironic sensibilities.

But when I was writing my review, it occurred to me that I’d been seeing this mock-the–traditional-fantasy-conventions premise a lot lately: last year’s Comedy Central series Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, and a long list of other recent webseries: The Legend of Neil, Doraleous and Associates, A Good Knight’s Quest, The Gamers, and The Guild.

Mocking fantasy conventions really isn’t anything new. I think a big part of the reason why Xena: Warrior Princess became  the sensation it did (especially compared to its originator Hercules: The Legendary Journeys) was because of its take-no-prisoners sense of humor (and its female protagonists for a change). There were no sacred fantasy cows on Xena, that’s for sure.

Meanwhile, the next swords-and-sorcery fantasy movie, Your Highness (coming in April 2011), is, of course, a fantasy-comedy, making fun of the genre.

What is it about traditional fantasy that is making people so eager to make fun of it?

Ironically, I kinda blame it on The Lord of the Rings — or at least the authors and fantasy enthusiasts who followed directly in Tolkien’s wake. Sure, the “fantasy” genre existed long before Tolkien, but it was Rings that basically ended up creating the modern fantasy genre: elves, dwarves, an all-powerful magic item, an evil force to be destroyed.

Lord of the Rings cast a long, dark shadow all through the 60s, 70s, and 80s — a shadow that was reinforced by the explosion of the D&D gaming culture where people basically acted out those Tolkien conventions over and over again. Before long, the template Tolkien had popularized almost became something sort of … sacred.

And let’s face it: in the hands of most 70s and 80s fantasy writers, these ossified conventions also became very predictable and very boring. Been there, done that, that’s for sure. Around 1989, I decided if I read about one more humble medieval farm-hand who was destined to save the world from yet another Big Bad, I was going to scream.

In short, the genre was ripe for implosion. Indeed, the genre wasn’t just ripe for implosion, it was actually sort of begging for it.

So cue the rise of fantasy reinventions like A Song of Fire and Ice and Xena: Warrior Princess, and the parodies like JourneyQuest and Krod Mandoon.

None of this is a bad thing. Fantasy is richer and more sophisticated than its ever been (IMHO). But sometimes I do think: wouldn’t it be nice to see another great work of traditional fantasy, without the irony, the parody, or the reinvention?

That’s when I remember: all those favorite fantasy works of my childhood still exist: all I have to do is cue them up on my DVD player or Kindle.

That fact that I don’t do it all that often — that I’d rather watch the latest episode of Supernatural or read the newest Jacqueline Carey book — makes me think: well, maybe I’ve moved on some too.

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The reaction is almost always the same. When I tell people that I’m the associate editor of a fantasy website, a look of surprise, understanding, and finally quiet judgment passes over their faces, forcing me to explain, “Harry Potter fantasy. Not, like, whips and leather fantasy.”

The relief I then see is priceless.

But should I be so quick to distance myself from the whips-and-leather crowd? While fantasy does have a kid-friendly, wizards-and-adventure side, I think it would be naive to suggest that there aren’t some people who utilize the trappings of the genre to explore their sexual kinks. All one has to do is run a Google Image search of “fantasy art,” and you’ll very quickly wind up with images like this:

What one finds in much fantasy art is a remarkably common theme of sexuality, which often has a heavy BDSM element. (To the uniformed, that stands for Bondage, Discipline, and Sadomasochism.)

Sometimes, the bondage theme is explicit and openly embraced, such as in the Kushiel novels of Jacqueline Carey, whose main character is a bisexual masochist who finds sexual pleasure in being tortured. (You can read TheTorchOnline.com’s interview with Carey here.)

But sometimes the S&M factor is played more coyly, giving us bondage-themed imagery without ever truly owning it. In the ’50s and ’60s, there were a plethora of beefcake movies, such as the Hercules films starring Steve Reeves, featuring oiled-up hunks and sexy babes alike constantly bound in chains and other restraints.

Most of these movies were terrible by the standards of anyone who wants their films to have a plot. Mostly they played out like fodder for one scene after another of sexy skin pressed against chains.

The very concept of a damsel in distress has a flavoring of S&M, as a helpless maiden is often tied up and must be rescued. Return of the Jedi even showcased series heroine Leia in what has become the iconic, quintessential S&M-tinted damsel outfit — the infamous gold bikini — before employing a post-feminist twist and having her kill her captor herself. But nonetheless, the image of Leia bound and chained like a slave girl has inspired many a young libido to get started.

The trend followed through into the ’90s, where it began to take a more subtle approach. The character of Xena, perhaps the most enduring high fantasy creation of the last 20 years, certainly bore a striking resemblance to a dominatrix, with her leather outfit and arsenal of weapons, a whip very prominently among them.

And how many times throughout the course of the series did we see Xena chained and beaten? She even sometimes seemed to enjoy fighting an opponent who could get his or her licks in, absorbing the blows with a satisfied smile.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer certainly went there, most notably in the sixth season when Buffy began her mutually-abusive relationship with bad boy vamp Spike. Their first session together was so violent it destroyed the entire house they were in.

But as time marches on, the BDSM themes became more overt. Even the family-friendly series Legend of the Seeker features the Mord’Sith, an army of women dressed entirely in leather who specialize in torturing their victims. In one memorable episode, noble hero Richard is stripped and given the royal treatment by “Mistress Denna,” a dominatrix name if ever I heard one.

The vampire soap True Blood raised the bar, as virtually every sexual relationship on the show contains some form of sado-masochistic violence at its core. The show even boasts a brand-new fetish called fangbanging — that is, living humans who prefer to have sex exclusively with vampires. The moments on the show relevant to this article are far too many to mention, from Jason’s romance with a watiress who likes to be strangled in the firs season to Lorena’s twisted, torturous rendezvous with Bill a few episodes ago.

But the Golden Handcuff Award has to go to new kid on the block Spartacus: Blood and Sand. The entire first season’s plot plays out like an elaborate bondage fantasy, with a houseful of sexy slaves to be commanded and used at the pleasure of the masters, oversexed couple Batiatus and Lucretia.

No doubt, there are many fantasy fans who don’t respond to these particular themes. But it would be naive to suggest there isn’t a connection, at least for some, between the fantasy genre and very specific sexual leanings.

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There are many things I love in life. I love my parents. I love my friends. I love playing online Tetris for free. I love a tall, ice-cold pint of beer. I love that the space bar will pause Youtube, Hulu, and Netflix Instant viewing.

I love all of these things and never have to defend that. But one thing I occasionally do find myself defending is my love of fantasy.

In a way, I get it. Fantasy is, on its surface, a genre packed to the gills with elves, dragons, and wizards — not exactly grown-up fair. How can a story with magic spells and dashing princes compare to the very realistic plays of Tennessee Williams, the written works of Jack Kerouac, or the films of Gus Van Sant? What makes fantasy so great?

In a word: metaphor.

For those not too proud to explore a work of fantasy and not too dense to look beneath its surface, the fantasy genre is a rich addition to the literary, film, and television canon because it explores very real human problems and desires by creating allegories through which to explore them.

Name any fantasy work that has withstood the test of time, and you will find in it a fable full of lessons of all too real applicability.

Michael Ende’s landmark novel, The Neverending Story, which was turned into a decent movie in the ’80s, is about a young boy named Bastian Balthazar Bux, who is neglected by his father and bullied by his schoolmates. He finds a book that transports him into another world called Fantasia, a world that is the embodiment of all the dreams and fantasies of the real world, which is being destroyed by an enemy called the Nothing.

The story is moving and absorbing not due to its host of magical creatures, but because it taps in all of us that longing to be a child again, to be able to lose yourself in worlds of your own creation, before the dark, unimaginative specter of adulthood falls upon us.

This theme of the wonder of a child’s imagination is explored many times over in fantasy, from The Wizard of Oz to The Chronicles of Narnia to Labyrinth.

While passionate, romantic love is a theme explored in virtually every genre imaginable, has there ever been a better representation of the honest, pure love between friends as there was in The Lord of the Rings? The entire sprawling epic that is Tolkien’s masterpiece essentially hangs on a single conceit: that we as an audience accept that Sam will do anything for Frodo.

This is a hard sell for some, because the notion of the power and beauty of platonic love is not a prevalent idea in our culture. Their relationship isn’t romantic so there’s no promise of sex. Frodo is hardly royalty so there’s no allure of vast treasures. Sam is committed to Frodo, with no reward expected, because that’s just the kind of person he is, and who wouldn’t want a friend like Sam? Who wouldn’t want to be a friend like Sam?

Toss in the fact that it’s two lowly hobbits, humble and small in stature, who succeed in saving the world, and you have a classic for the ages. It takes a story about hobbits to make us see the wonder in our fellow man.

This past year, the high fantasy television show Legend of the Seeker came into its own when episodes began appearing that were not necessarily part of the larger plot, but instead focused on characters by throwing them into fantastical situations that mirrored real life problems.

Kahlan, a young woman who was torn between her sense of duty and her love for her companion, Richard, was in one episode magically split into two people, and through this spell we came to learn much about her and how difficult her burden really was.

Another episode featured Cara, a woman who was abducted and brainwashed and turned into a killer. As she attempted to regain her humanity, she was turned into a Baneling (basically a sentient zombie), thus making her metaphorical fight to be a regular person quite literal.

The point is that we could have simply watched biopics of Margaret Thatcher or Patty Hearst, and I’m sure some would be content to do just that, but those projects are limited to the real and mundane. By steeping a story in allegory, you have a much larger canvas on which to paint.

I suppose the fantasy genre will always be overlooked by those who wish to appear highbrow. After all, magic and flights of fancy are a hard sell to the academic.

But for those of us in the know, fantasy has a way of engaging our suspension of disbelief by accessing the emotional truths in stories about hobbits and goblins, and reflecting the realities of our world through a supernatural lens. Like opera and musical theater, which engage our emotions through music rather than realism, fantasy will forever be a step removed from reality, but never so far that we can’t recognize it. And it’s because of that very distance from reality that the genre is able to remark on it so keenly.

TheTorchOnline.com confirmed the cancellation of the syndicated fantasy show Legend of the Seeker back in May, but that hasn’t stopped an intrepid group of fans who have organized at SaveOurSeeker.com to continue to advocate for another season for the series.

Since ABC/Disney, which produced the show, will not be producing a third season, these fans have concentrated on finding another producing entity to take it over. They’ve raised almost $25,000 to date, which they’ve used to place ads in Variety, Hollywood Reporter, and on a bus shelter in Burbank.

They’re also doing email and Twitter campaigns, fan videos, and online petition, and plan to have a presence at the upcoming Dragon-Con convention in Atlanta.

“I think it’s incredible what they’re doing,” says Mary D. Brooks, the webmaster of a number of Seeker-themed websites.

Such fan campaigns have been successful before with other syndicated shows: once Xena: Warrior Princess seemed doomed to cancellation, but  fans rallied and ended up bringing it back for another season.

But to date, there has been no public movement toward the possibility of a third season for Seeker.

Well, one thing we’ve learned over the past few weeks is that when we ask you to chime in on what fantasy characters you think are sexiest, you don’t hold back!

When the polls opened, your votes poured in, as well as quite a few comments.

First things first, I have to offer a mea culpa. I always thought I kept a pretty good ear to the ground when it came to finding the hotties of the male persuasion that inhabited fantasy entertainment, but it turns out I missed three major studs, according to quite a number of comments we received:

Darken Rahl from Legend of the Seeker …

… and the Winchester brothers from Supernatural.

Forgive me, you ravenous fans of man meat. I’ll do better next year!

And now, on to the winner!

You voted for him …

You wanted him …

You appreciated his bravery and strength …

You watched in awe at his studly heroism …

You asked for it …

And now you’re getting it …

The winner of the Sexiest Man of Fantasy is …

… drum roll please …

Zeddicus Z’ul Zorander

From his first appearance in the pilot of Legend of the Seeker wearing nothing more than a well-placed chicken, fans worldwide swooned the moment this virile wizard took the stage. Who could compete with that cunning and mischievous grin, those flashing eyes, and that long, flowing silver hair?

Once this strapping sorcerer entered the world of genre entertainment, we all knew it would be a long while before he was dethroned as the Sexiest Man of Fantasy.

Okay, fine. Here’s the real winner:

Come on, was there ever any doubt? He got 70% of the vote!

If there’s one thing we learned from Legend of the Seeker fans, it’s that they know how to galvanize and get their online presence known. But lest you think Richard Rahl, as portrayed by the ab-licious Craig Horner,  took home the prize simply because fans are trying to save the series, I challenge you to look at that earnest, heroic visage, that Harlequin-romance-novel-cover head of hair, and all two and a half percent of that body fat.

The guy is, quite frankly, sex on a stick, but the best part is he puts all of that lean muscle to work defending the honor of his true love, Kahlan (who just happened to win Sexiest Woman of Fantasy this year), and conquering anyone who would bring destruction to the Midlands.

So congrats, Richie! You earned it.

There’s no two ways about it — Richard won by a landslide. In fact the only other guy on the list to even come close to giving him a run for his money is my boy Spartacus, played so bad-assly (Yeah, that’s an adverb. Look it up!) by Andy Whitfield on Spartacus: Blood and Sand (at 17% of the vote).

Coming in a distant third (at 5%) was True Blood’s Eric (Alexander Skarsgard).

So what have we learned about fantasy fans this week? You all like your men muscly, oiled-up, and ready to hack and slash. And hey, who can blame ya?

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Who’s ready for more sexy?

After our poll in which you all voted for Legend of the Seeker’s Kahlan Amnell as the sexiest woman of the past year’s fantasy entertainment, it’s time to bring on the men!

Once again, let’s get the ground rules out of the way. First and foremost, we are judging the characters, not the actors, on their sex appeal. The difference is subtle, sure, but it’s there. For example, despite Sam Worthington’s handsome looks and fit body, his Perseus may not exactly have started your heart a-racin’ in Clash of the Titans … but you can feel free to correct us in the polls if you see fit.

Second, these are fantasy characters we’re looking for, not sci-fi. We take a broad view of the fantasy genre — high fantasy, low fantasy, medieval fantasy, and supernatural fantasy — but specifically science-related speculative fiction is out.

And finally, the characters have to have appeared in some new work of entertainment in the 2009-2010 season.

Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Begin the cavalcade of men!

Jason Stackhouse

So he’s kind of a tool and not that bright … big deal. Jason Stackhouse, played by Ryan Kwanten, is the lothario of Bon Temps, Louisiana on HBO’s racy True Blood, and it sure doesn’t hurt that he seems to have an allergy to clothing.

Eric

Speaking of True Blood, while genteel southern vampire Bill Compton may have captured the heart of the heroine Sookie, even she can’t deny the animal magnetism of the super-hot vampire sheriff, Eric (Alexander Skarsgard).

Eggs

Our last True Blood hunk is the delicious Benedict Talley, known to his buddies as Eggs. Get it? Eggs Benedict? As played by Mehcad Brooks, he seems pretty appetizing to me.

Dastan

Based on a video game franchise of humble beginnings, Jake Gyllenhaal wowed movie-goers when he proved he has what it takes to be an action star as the dashing Dastan in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. But did he wow you enough to win your vote?

Richard

Considering his true love took the crown for Sexiest Woman of Fantasy, methinks our boy Richard Rahl (Craig Horner) here has a pretty good shot. Over the past two seasons, fans of Legend of the Seeker were witness to the young Lord Rahl coming of age and growing into the hero he was born to be. And what’s sexier than that?

Alistair

Prince Dastan (above) is based on an animated character in a video game, but Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins is a character in a video game. So what?  Just as the sexy enchantress Morrigan was a nominee in our sexy female poll, the hunky Grey Warden Alistair (voiced by Steve Valentine) would surely be on any list of the year’s sexiest male characters.

Spartacus

When Spartacus: Blood and Sand hit the airwaves this past January, no one knew quite what to expect from the show that made a lot of promises to stretch the boundaries of what you could show on television. But it turns out they delivered and then some, and while doing so gave us the immortal hotness that is Spartacus, as played by Andy Whitfield.

Crixus

Spartacus’ enemy-turned-ally, Crixus (Manu Bennett) was the last one to drink the Spartacus Kool-Aid, spending most of his time in the first season as a nasty bully who tortured our poor hero. But you know what? He mostly did it naked, so all’s forgiven.

Pietros

Not everyone likes their men huge and hulking. Starting as a character hovering in the backgrounds, Pietros quickly revealed himself to be a sweet and compassionate man, who was fiercely devoted to his lover, Barca. Sure, his ending may have been quick and tragic, but at least we got a little time to get to know him. And though he may not have had the he-man muscles of the gladiators, check out that slammin’ six-pack!

So there are our official nominees. But if you want someone not mentioned on the list, check the “Other” box in the poll and mention the name in the comments! And stay tuned to find out who won in a week!

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What an exciting ride this was!

Last week, we posted an article asking you, our beloved readers, to tell us which recent female fantasy character was the sexiest in your eyes.

Well, you certainly responded in droves — more than 4000 of you voted (and more than 140 of you commented!). Turns out everyone has an opinion on this issue!

And so, without an further suspense, we here at the offices of TheTorchOnline.com give you the winner of the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy 2010 Contest!!

Here she is …

The Dowager Duchess of Thrice

The Dowager Duchess of Thrice made waves throughout the world of fantasy when she appeared in just one episode of Legend of the Seeker, entitled “Princess.” A combination of soft, feminine noblewoman and coy, fan-waving sex kitten, she made all of our geeky hearts leap into our throats, and sent shockwaves throughout the Midlands.

And so we crown her the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy, 2010.

Oh, I’m just kidding. The actual winner is …

Kahlan Amnell

Since the very first episode of Legend of the Seeker, we were all given a special treat, and that treat was named Kahlan. Brought to life by the luminous actress Bridget Regan, Kahlan was a multi-faceted woman, one who shined with beauty and virtue, and yet was a brutal warrior from a similar mold to her predecessor, Xena.

Yet unlike Xena, Kahlan strode about not in armor but a beautiful, feminine white dress, and her most effective power in battle — “confessing” — essentially caused her opponent to fall helplessly in love with her. Of course, over time, we witnessed Kahlan becoming more and more a hardened warrior, even adopting a more aggressive leather costume, which I affectionately refer to as her “Star Trek hooker outfit.”

Throughout two seasons of adversity, Kahlan triumphed over baddies and her own hormones alike, as she couldn’t consummate her relationship with her true love, Richard, lest she inadvertently confess him. But with the final episode, we learn the purity of their love overcame her powers, and they can now be free to express their love however they see fit.

And what’s sexier than that?

But for those of you who have been following the poll, it should be noted Kahlan just eked out a win (literally one percent more votes) over the runner-up, who, interestingly enough, shared the stage with her for a whole season, and just her name invokes images of sexuality. (And leads me to believe we had a lot of Legend of the Seeker fans voting.)

Cara

From her first appearance in last year’s season finale, Cara, as played by the gorgeous Tabrett Bethell, was a force to be reckoned with. Seemingly taking inspiration from Catwoman, Star Trek’s Seven of Nine, and X-Men’s Mystique, Cara put her sexuality out there, while at the same time showed her true colors as a decent,  loving human being behind all the eye-rolling and sneering.

Other high-rankers in our poll include two characters from Spartacus: Blood and Sand — Lucy Lawless’ Lucretia (at 17%) and Katrina Law’s Mira (at 9%) — and an animated character, Dragon Age: Origins’ Morrigan (voice of Claudia Black), at 4%.

So there you have it, Torchlings. The results of the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy 2009-2010.

Be sure to come back later this week and vote for the sexiest male character!

• One of the most striking movies coming out this year is The Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole. In this chat with director Zack Snyder, we get some new footage, plus why animating owls can be so interesting.

• I remain fascinated by all the descriptions of Knights of Badassdom. The cast is really fleshing out with Peter Dinklage, Steve Zahn, and True Blood’s Ryan Kwanten. With a description of “a mutant crossbreed of -era Sam Raimi and the sword-happy finale of Role Models,” I’m drunkenly attracted to the storyline.

• Bioware has signed a deal with FUNimation to create an anime-style animated film version of Dragon Age: Origins. The movie is due in 2011, which seems really fast for animation.

• It’s been a long time since we got a new Lord of the Rings game, but The Lord of the Rings: War in the North is looking to change that. It’s based on cooperative play in the world of LOTR, and it takes a human, a dwarf and an elf working together to win. Gamespot has an interview with the developer that I embedded below, as well as a trailer and a gameplay breakdown.

• You can now buy a lightsaber, or more accurately a blaster shaped like a lightsaber. The $200 Spyder III is 2000x more powerful than Wicked Lasers reigning champion, much cheaper, and can blind you instantly or set your skin on fire.

• Madhouse has been announced as the animation house that will create the anime version of Supernatural. It’s the first time that a western property has been turned into a anime story by a Japanese anime house. These folks did Death Note and Vampire Hunter D, so they definitely have the chops for it.

• A lot of names get bandied around to replace Guillermo del Toro on The Hobbit, but one I hadn’t heard was Kenneth Branagh, who is just pulling the end of Thor together. He’s tackled Shakespeare before, so sweeping stories are nothing new. And I’m sure that Thor gives him some special effects knowledge he may have been lacking.

• Twilight: Breaking Dawn is officially two movies, Summit just announced. Oscar-winner Bill Condon will sell what’s left of his soul and direct both.

• Speaking of Thor, Entertainment Tonight had some time with Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman on the set, and while Hemsworth certainly looks imposing enough to be the God of Thunder, even the video they screened of them filming has him in jeans and a t-shirt. I prefer my gods to be more impressive (and better-dressed!).

• Determined to remind us that the Sorcerer’s Apprentice isn’t all about crazy Nic Cage, Disney released a new poster with the trailer that we put up earlier this week. Just labeled “The Villain” it makes impressive use of the bowler hat and facial hair to convey movie “evil.”

• The British film Black Death stars LOTR’s Sean Bean as a knight charged with hunting down a witch in medieval England. The review says it starts out as LOTR-lite and ends like The Wicker Man, which seems like a really odd combination.

• Straz new series Camelot is going to be doing its filming in Ireland over the summer. I finally found that the particular Arthurian legend they’re using for the story is Le Morte d’Arthur from the 15^th century. No word on whether that justifies casting Jamie Campbell Bower as Arthur.

• Details for Legend of the Seeker: Season 2 DVD set have been released, including the working cover art, which I find a little lackluster. It will be released on five discs September 28^th, with extended scenes, an “Under the Underworld” featurette, as well as “Redemption of a Mord’Sith: Meet Cara” featurette.

• To this noob who is Waiting (impatiently) on George R.R. Martin to produce the fifth Song of Fire and Ice book, after having only read the first book, let me paraphrase Neil Gaiman and respond: George R.R. Martin is not your bitch.

• Starz has set July 23^rd as the premiere date for The Pillars of Earth miniseries. I read the book years ago, and admit I’m intrigued how they bring the beast about 12^th century England, the Church and the knights and nobles together, but the cast is outstanding.

Summer’s a great time, isn’t it? Gone are the long overcoats, the big fuzzy sweaters, and the scarves.

That’s right, people. It’s sexy time again.

Last year, we began what is now officially our annual tradition of the sexiest characters of fantasy. This year, we’re doin’ ya one better — we’re going to let YOU, our readers, decide for yourselves.

The guidelines are simple. One, we are judging characters for their sex appeal, not actors, so even if you happen to find Cate Blanchett the sexiest lady around, I think we can all agree that her turn as Galadriel didn’t exactly turn up the heat.

Two, we are specifically dealing with fantasy characters and not sci-fi, which means that Trinity, Aeon Flux, etc. are out of the running. Superheroes are okay, but we’re mostly going for high fantasy or urban fantasy, a la Legend of the Seeker, True Blood, and the like.

Three, we’re looking for recent entries into the world of fantasy. Basically, the character has to have appeared in an entertainment project released from 2009 to 2010.

And now that the rules are out of the way, here are our nominees. You can vote below!

Lucretia

Though Lucy Lawless will always be remembered for playing Xena, she still brings the sexy (and then some!) almost ten years later as the wickedly seductive Lucretia on Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Naevia

Speaking of Lucretia, most Spartacus fans first got a glimpse of the surprisingly plucky slave girl, Naevia, when she was essentially being used as a human sex toy to get her domina, Lucretia, going so she could have sex with her husband and not have to bother with all that pesky foreplay stuff. But who would have thought that she would  blossom into a strong-willed character of her own who catches not only the eye but the heart and soul of the toughest gladiator in the ludus, Crixus?

Mira

The last Spartacus entry on the list is another humble-at-first-then-proves-to-be-resourceful slave girl. Mira, who only appeared in about the last third of the season, managed to arouse the man himself, Spartacus, and almost make him forget his late wife. Now that’s a woman.

Kate Austin

Over the past few years, Lost became such a ridiculously complex torrent of red herrings (by which I mean, of course, that the writers had absolutely no idea what they were doing) that it almost made one forget how, in 2004, an unknown actress named Evangeline Lilly created the character of Kate who was tough, capable, and looked damn good in a tank top and baggy jeans. Though the show may have ended on a whimper, no one can deny that for six years, Kate looked damn sexy running around that island.

Jennifer

There’s classy sexy, and then there’s slutty sexy. Hey, I’m not judging. To each his own. Though she was more Mortal Kombat’s Baraka than prom queen, the titular heroine/villainess of Jennifer’s Body was certainly not lacking in the sexuality department … even if she was eating boys (literally).

Persephone

A few months back, I reviewed Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and I won’t split hairs — I did not like it. But near the end, just as I was about to nod off, was woken up a big jolt of sexy in the form of Rosario Dawson’s luscious death goddess, Persephone. If that’s what awaits us in the Underworld, kill me now.

Io

Clash of the Titans may have been a gods-awful flick, but at least it did take a few seconds away from the constant boss-fight-after-boss-fight to allow us to soak in the sexiness that was Gemma Arterton’s enigmatic Io. (Gemma Arterton fans? Careful you don’t split your votes by voting for Arterton’s Princess Tamina in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time!)

Neytiri

Go ahead. I dare you to tell me you didn’t feel a little stirring of something for some of the Na’vi when watching Avatar. No need to feel pervy for wanting to mack on blue monkey-cat people: their bodies were clearly designed to be lithe, sexy, and pleasurable to behold. And few were more behold-able than Neytiri, as performed by the delicious Zoe Saldana. (And lest you protest that Avatar was sci-fi, Pandora itself was clearly a fantasy setting, with its blue inhabitants, floating mountains, and soul transferring.)

Morrigan

What’s that, you say? Morrigan isn’t “real,” but is, instead, a character in the video game Dragon Age: Origin? Clearly, you have yet to play Dragon Age: Origin! When it comes to sexy sorceresses, we prefer ours with a “bad girl” vibe and more than a touch of ‘tude — which is Morrigan all the way. Plus, we have it on good authority that things get, uh, interesting if you “gift” her enough necklaces, amulets, and broaches!

Kahlan

Cara

Legend of the Seeker may have been unjustly canceled, but its characters will live on in our memories and imaginations forever. And while the plots and dialogue were fantastic, it certainly didn’t hurt that its two main female leads were so breathtaking to gaze upon. And so we give you the gorgeous Kahlan and Cara.

So there are our nominees. We also have a “none of the above” option for any glaring omissions, but be sure to add the name in our “comments,” below!

THE POLL IS NOW CLOSED! SEE THE RESULTS HERE

Tune in soon for the men!

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