Some fantasy films are made and immediately become a part of the cultural zeitgeist, integrating themselves into pop culture and slang, so that every movie-goer worth his or her salt understands a reference to Middle Earth, or can tell you what happens when you flick and swish your wand, chanting “Wingardium Leviosa.”
But not every film can be a Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. Some films are made and, through no fault of their own, never manage to find the enormous mainstream success that is so coveted. When this happens, these movies are banished to an ethereal storage dimension called the Cave of Forgotten Tales, and become lost to time.
But here in the offices of TheTorchOnline.com, we have a portal to this mysterious dimension, and from time to time, we venture into this cave, looking for the blockbusters that might, could, or should have been.
And then we review them.
The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)
Two and a Half Torches (Out of Five)
The first film to be dragged out of the Cave is The Forbidden Kingdom, a self-aware film that fits mostly into the genre known as wuxia, or Chinese martial arts fantasy films, in which characters battle acrobatic and gravity-defying duels, usually with the assistance of many, many wires.
I say “mostly fits” because the movie as a whole uses one of those wonky Wizard of Oz plot devices where a character who lives in our plain, banal world gets konked on the head and wakes up in a magical land filled with witches, warriors, and spells. The main character, Jason, is a young man who is obsessed not with Kung Fu but with Kung Fu films, and is even the victim of the inevitable bully who by his teenage years seems to have mastered the martial arts.
Kingdom is probably most significant as it is the first on-screen collaboration of the two titans of martial arts films, Jet Li and Jackie Chan. When Jason is knocked out, he awakens in ancient China, and quickly meets up with a drunken fighter (Chan in a Jack Sparrow-wig). He then learns its his destiny to rescue the mystical Monkey King, and before long they are joined by a beautiful girl and a mysterious monk, played by Li.
Jackie Chan and Jet Li face off in a brilliant fight, gorgeously choreographed by Yuen Wo-Ping, who also designed the fights from The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. But alas, they battle only once, and spend the rest of the film as mentors to the young Jason, who seems like a nice kid but, unfortunately, has all the charisma of a cherry blossom.
I wanted so badly to like this film, and there is much to like: the fight choreography, the breathtaking landscapes, and simply the fact that it’s Jet Li and Jackie Chan! On Screen! Together! At the same time! Furthermore, the script is based on very real Chinese mythology, carefully laid down by the screenwriter, who had his own personal journey into martial arts and was moved so much he wrote a movie about it. (Yes, friends, you can find Bonus Features in the Cave of Forgotten Tales, as well.)
But alas, the film was simply not inventive or original enough to truly stand on its own, and was often mired down by its own cliches. Bumbling old man? Placid Buddhist monk? Wire-fu? Beautiful and deadly female costar? The film has all of them, and rather than seeming to honor these tropes, it just seems like it couldn’t think of anything more original. It was one of those experiences where you think, “I wish more movies like this would made — but I just didn’t love this one.”
Should this film be left to the oblivion of the Cave? Unless you’re so into martial arts movies that you have to see every one ever made, the answer is, sadly, yes.
Until next time, friends…remember that for every multi-billion dollar fantasy flick that comes along, a great many are swept into the Cave of Forgotten Tales. It’s our job to see if they really belong there.
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