Tag Archive | "Harry Potter"

From the Palantir! A Story for the New INDIANA JONES, and Cameron’s Ready for a FANTASTIC VOYAGE

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  • B-movie master Roger Corman sat down to explain why he can get away with something as silly as Sharktopus. It really comes down to the fact that if the name gets tossed out and people act interested enough to suspend disbelief, he’ll figure out a way to make a movie about it. So what creature mashup should he try next? I’m going to suggest Piraneagle, because I can’t think of anything more menacing that flocks of flying piranha. Put your suggestions in the comments!
  • Michael Weingard sure knows how to stir the pot. He wrote an essay saying essentially that Jewish folks don’t write fantasy, they write science fiction, and justified it by citing J.R.R. Tolkein and C.S. Lewis. He then framed it as part of the fundamental differences in beliefs of the religions. This has touched off a war as people name Michael Chabon, Neil Gaiman and Marge Piercy as perfectly applicable examples of why he’s wrong. io9.com has a series of links where you can follow the fight, because it doesn’t look like it’s going to end anytime soon.
  • I know Wednesday, Tim mentioned the Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter book was going to get the Tim Burton treatment for a film. Hatchett Books actually filmed a trailer for the book release:

  • Jay Baruchel is doing press for She’s Out of Your League right now, but io9.com caught up with him and asked him about a magical death match between Nic Cage from the Sorceror’s Apprentice and Gandalf. Naturally he favors his costar Cage, but that could also be because it’s so hard for Gandalf to get around New York City on a horse.
  • That same press event allowed them to corner the sexy Krysten Ritter and talk to her about Vamps, which she’s doing with Alicia Silverstone. She won’t say much about the film, besides telling us that it’s Clueless with vampires, but the other things she says speak volumes. She’s never seen Twilight, loves True Blood. And she may be questioning her immortality, but she’s not standing in the shadows brooding, either.
  • Depending on your point of view, this is either good or bad. Roland Emmerich isn’t shooting Foundation next, he’s doing a political thriller. No doubt ending with the world exploding, since that’s what he does. The reason for the delay? The script is still got to lose about 25% of the pages. I’m assuming to make room for special effects.
  • This is really just one of those feel-good moments that lets you have hope for humanity, or in this case, a bunch of fantasy gamers. CNN has a story about a blind gamer who wanted to beat The Legend of Zelda, and had been culling enough tips and playing by sound. Then he put out an appeal for help on Skype, and over a two year period, a bunch of other gamers compiled a script for him, which he had his computer read to him, and he played the game by touch and by sound. Fantasy nerds, unite!

  • TheCW has renewed Smallville for a 10th season, meaning they found enough gold bullion to bribe Tom Welling. I guess we’re going to see this whole angst-driven Blur thing drag out another year.
  • Sam Bayer, who’s just off directing the latest Nightmare on Elm Street incarnation has his sights set on the comic book world for his next project. He wants to go after The Boys, which is a world of operatives that keep superheroes from going rogue. I saw a couple of covers, and it looks sexy and violent – like the thought of Superman hitting a bordello. I’m intrigued.
  • Slashfilm has a first look at some stills from Zack Snyder’s animated Legend of the Guardians, which gets its first trailer today, with Alice in Wonderland. I’m unfamiliar with the story, so I have no idea if a bunch of pictures of owls tells you anything, other than they must be some seriously tough owls to fly with armor.
  • As part of that same set of interviews with MTV, Daniel Radcliffe talks a bit about the plans for the scene at the end of Deathly Hallows where Harry and the gang are sending their own kids off to Hogwarts. The plan now is to go all Benjamin Button on them and age everybody with CGI.

  • Ratings last week were a bright spot for Spartacus: Blood and Sand, which topped a million viewers for the Friday broadcast. On the sci-fi side, Caprica improved a little, but considering it’s so much more widely distributed on basic cable, the fact that it matches the premium pay Spartacus isn’t a reason to celebrate.
  • Disney just paid for ant-man-themovie.com, spurring speculation that the minor super hero is about to get a major outing from the House of Mouse. But seriously - does anybody think that paying $2 to GoDaddy constitutes a $200 million decision from Disney?
  • Harrison Ford has confirmed that George Lucas has found an idea for another Indiana Jones movie, which would be a miracle, since he obviously didn’t have an idea for the last Indiana Jones movie.
  • I don’t know what Birdemic: Shock and Terror is – IMDB says 2008, TrailerAddict.com says 2010, and I say it looks like a spoof of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, but it’s hard to be sure. Has anyone seen it?
  • If Time Bandits is, like your favorite thing, ever, you can drop two Ronald Reagans ($100) on this replica of the map from the movie. At 188 layers and 1.8 GB file size, the detail is amazing, and they’ll print it on canvas for you.
  • James Cameron has finished a script for the sci-fi medical remake of Fantastic Voyage, where a team gets shrunk down and injected into a person to zap a clot. He has a point that what we know about medical imaging and CGI has improved dramatically since the original in the 1960s, every cartoon on the planet has copied the idea at this point, including Family Guy and Phineas and Ferb – how interesting can they make it? No director yet, but with Cameron fresh off Avatar’s mind-boggling box office, somebody is going to jump on this.
  • Finally, Comedy Central has a new cartoon series called Ugly Americans premiering next month that seems to be about living and dating in New York, if New York has monsters, zombies, and succubi walking around Manhattan. Which is silly, because we know they all live in Brooklyn.

Ugly Americans Mar 17, 10:30pm / 9:30c
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www.comedycentral.com
Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

From the Palantir! Honest Abe is a Slayer, and Babies Are Freaking Evil!

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  • Apparently not having had their fill of fantasy with Spartacus: Blood and Sand, the Starz network has obtained the rights to Pillars of the Earth, an “epic tale of good vs. evil told against the religious, social and political struggles of medieval Europe.” Man, Starz is becoming the place to be, isn’t it?
  • Are people excited about the new V? I can’t seem to get my finger on that particular pulse. Well, if you are, we have promises from the powers that be that we’ll see more, more, more in the coming episodes. As for me, I just want to see mega-hottie Morena Baccarin rip her face off. Is that too much to ask?
  • Okay, I thought the idea of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was genius. I freakin’ loved the title Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. So needless to say, I am super-stoked to learn that Tim Burton will be directing the upcoming film adaptation of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. A possibly risky move considering the novel was just released today.
  • The part of Albus Dumbledore’s brother Aberforth has been cast, and it’s … Julius Caesar? Actually, it’s Ciaran Hinds, who played Julius Caesar on HBO’s Rome. From slain emperor to crazy old wizard. Not too shabby there, Ciaran.
  • As a New Yorker, the Tribeca Film Festival has always held a special place in my heart. I love that in a city as commercial as New York there’s a festival that really honors the independent, artistic spirit of roll-up-your-sleeves filmmakers. And I’m proud that they’re honoring that tradition by opening the festical this year with … Shrek Forever After? Seriously? Wow, can’t wait till they open next year’s festival with that hard-hitting indie documentary, Transformers 3.
  • I ain’t afraid o’ no spoilers. Bill Murray spills the beans on Letterman about the possibility of a new Ghostbusters movie. He doesn’t seem so into it.
  • This is the kind of tweet that gets a big ol’ Marvel comics fan like me all in a tizzy. Hint: Anyone feel like assembling?
  • I have to confess, I never read any of Terry Brooks’ Shannara novels, even though they’ve called to me like sirens every time I pass them in the bookstore. Well, I should get crackin’, because he has three more on the way.
  • Anyone else suffering from a little Hobbit rumor exhaustion? It’s cast, it’s not cast, it’s in 3D, it’s not in 3D, oh, wait, it might be in 3D. Just make the freakin’ movie already. (Incidentally, I’m currently reading The Hobbit again just for fun. Guess what? It’s just as awesome as you remember. Of course, the best part of the novel is not having to hear any rumors about the making of it.)
  • After the more-successful-than-God run of Avatar, talk of a sequel is naturally in the works, but James Cameron doesn’t want to call it Avatar 2. He’s thinking he might call it Na’vi. I say he can call it whatever he wants, as long as we don’t have to hear rumors about it for years. Damn you, Hobbit.
  • Daniel Radcliffe consistently proves he’s a bloody brilliant bloke, most recently for his work with The Trevor Project, a hotline to help LGBT teenagers in crisis. That’s right, a celebrity working for a cause that he’s not personally affected by and doesn’t tie in to a film he’s promoting. He’s just doing it because he knows he has a platform and he wants to use that opportunity for good. Wingardium levi-awesome.
  • Finally, I’m trying to figure out an excuse I can come up with to post this next link … ooh, I got it. You all saw Look Who’s Talking, right? That was kind of fantasy … wasn’t it? Babies talking to each other? Yeah, that should work. Anyway, here’s 6 scientifically-proven facts that show that babies are completely evil, spiteful, petty A-holes.

From The Palantir! JUDGE DREDD Gets Old, DRAGON AGE (Finally!) Expands, and Hansel Takes on Gretel

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  • The Hubble Telescope has found a spiral galaxy living by the “live fast, die young” philosophy. NGC-2976 (they need to employ a better naming scheme if NASA wants their budget back) got a little frisky with a bigger galaxy sometime in the past and went nuts making stars to the point that it just doesn’t have it left in it anymore.
  • We mentioned before that Daniel Craig was putting on the spurs in the lead role in Cowboys vs. Aliens, but every cowboy needs a cowgirl, and Olivia Wilde is ready to mount up. The John Favreau project is the second sci-fi/fantasy piece in a row for the House actress, who has been hard at work on Tron: Legacy.
  • In news I could live without, the change at the top of DC Comics is clearing the way for Watchmen 2. Nobody that was associated with Watchmen being the best-selling graphic novel in DC history will touch the project, but the suits are already counting their money.
  • The Palantir (that would be me) once had to go to the bathroom during season two of Lost. He hasn’t understood a thing since. That’s why this parody from TV Wasteland makes him laugh.

  • Catching up with John Wagner, the creater of Judge Dredd, we find that he’s read the script and seen some of the visuals for the new movie, and likes what he sees. He also dishes on Dredd aging, how 70 is the new 40.
  • Last month we showed you the Star Wars Burlesque show, now io9.com has pictures of the more generalized Sci-Fi Burlesque show, adding Leeloo and Silk Spectre, among others.
  • Sam Raimi may have walked away (or been pushed) from  Spider-Man, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to do a genre film. He’s planning to remake The Shadow. Is there not a new comic book character to exploit?
  • SyFy has announced a development slate of original SyFy movies based around dark retellings of fairy tales. Hansel will be an imagining where twenty years after the original woods trip, Hansel returns to the woods for revenge. But the twist is he finds Gretel has become the witch’s apprentice. Just one of SyFy’s many ideas to get into making something other than tornado movies.
  • You’ve probably heard that there’s a new live-action/CGI Smurfs movie under development. The producers of said project occasionally leak concept art that people pray to be fake. This is another such piece of art. But it comes with a story that the movie will be set in New York City because Smurf Village is in Central Park. Mayor Bloomberg has summoned Papa Smurf to his office to discuss back taxes.
  • Dragon Age: Origins Expansion has got a glittery version of the Ghost Dragon, and the new DLC content Return to Ostagar has finally hit the Xbox 360 and PC.
  • Alice In Wonderland continues to release new trailers and featurettes. The latest marketing assault is to give us slightly different trailers across all of Disney’s major networks, ABC, ESPN, and ABC Family. We’ll start with ABC Family, and then move to ABC. Play them together and note the not-so-subtle, but fascinating differences:

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  • Tor.com has a piece on why the Oscars don’t respect genre films, and hints that if the Best Picture category wasn’t expanded to 10 films this year, none of the genre films would have been nominated.
  • Universal Studios Orlando isn’t the only park getting a cool new attraction. Well, depending on how you define “new,” they are. But King Kong is coming back to Universal Studios Hollywood, and it’s in 3-D.
  • Locus Online has come out with their consensus Recommended Reading List 2009, and there are a few books on there I really enjoyed, like Transition and Ark. But we can all use more books in our life, so I’m going to try something else I haven’t read. What about you – what looks tasty?
  • On April 6, 2010, we can go back to The Shire. No, no – they’re still going nowhere with Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit, but that’s when Ralph Bakshi classic animated Lord of the Rings movie comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray.
  • Speaking of The Hobbit, Elijah Wood wants James McAvoy as Bilbo Baggins. For some reason, that seems like it should count for something.
  • Going in the other direction from LoTR, we have Andy Serkis, who voiced Gollum, trying to get someone to make a biopic of Bono, and he wants to play the rocker. No word on why Bono wouldn’t just play Bono, because Bono seems to be pretty good at playing Bono.
  • Remember that Ollivander’s Wand Shop video we had? Well, Universal shelled out $2.6 million to promote The Wizarding World of Harry Potter on the Super Bowl this Sunday. The park addition itself seems fairly amazing — this multi-million dollar spot, notsomuch.

  • Reaper was a quirky, fun show that died too soon. It had a delightful mix of comedy and action, and promised an intriguing story arc that never got finished. Since it died quietly, we never heard that story, but if you talk to the creators, they’ll tell it all, including the mystery of Sam’s father.

The Top 10 Magic Duels and Spell Battles!

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We all know the drill — we’re watching a nice magical adventure unfold before our eyes on the big or small screen, and the characters get to a point where they no longer have the option to be friendly. It’s time to throw down.

Maybe the spells are flying fast and furious, or maybe it’s a more subtle use of magic to assist a mostly physical blow, but one thing is for certain: even more so than standard fight scenes, battles that involve magic raise the dramatic stakes in any story, because when you’re hurling thunderbolts, you’re playing for keeps. Even when the stories they feature in are not exactly memorable (cough The Covenant cough), a good magical fight can be a visual feast. Here we count down some of our favorites.

10. Caleb vs. Chase (The Covenant)

Though at times this fight seems more like a mystical game of dodgeball using amorphous jellyfish-like energy, one can’t deny that it at least looks pretty cool when these dudes are blasting away at each other in a rain-soaked barn. It’s fun to see the mayhem that male witches can wreak on each other, when witchcraft is so often allocated to female characters.

Unfortunately, the movie itself sucked.

9. Raziel vs. Bavmorda (Willow)

Willow will always hold a special place in the hearts of many fantasy enthusiasts who emerged from that nebulous decade known as the ’80s. Part Star Wars, part Lord of the Rings, it featured a very hobbitish hero, a very Gandalf-ian sorceress named Raziel, and a mean, mean old witch name Bavmorda.

Bavmorda and Raziel are mortal enemies, and in the climax of the movie, as a huge battle takes place outside, a very private war is fought between these two magicians. Utilizing the latest visual technology of the time (Willow was one of the first movies to showcase morphing), the filmmakers introduced a wide-eyed generation to the wonders of a magical smackdown.

Watch the fight

8. Gandalf vs. Saruman (The Fellowship of the Ring)

When you see two wizards fighting, you expect to see some crazy fireballs being thrown around, but when Gandalf and Saruman threw down in The Fellowship of the Ring, it was just the telekinetic version of an old-fashioned bar room brawl, with the two tossing each other around with the force of their minds. Bruising, bloody, and awesome.

Watch the fight

7. Harry vs. Draco (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets)

At this point in the Harry Potter series, we knew there was no love lost between the boy wizards Harry and Draco Malfoy, but they were just kids, and the last thing we expected to see was a full-on, wire-spinning melee, but that’s exactly what we got when they took each other on in Professor Lockhart’s dueling seminar.

6. Giles vs. Dark Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sweet Willow Rosenburg was the heart and soul of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, always a cheerful presence in a dark, demon-ridden world. But following the death of her true love Tara, she tapped into the vengeful part of her psyche and became a very bad witch. Who better to take her on than the mentor of the group, Giles, with a little borrowed magic from a coven of good witches?

5. Nancy vs. Sarah (The Craft)

An underrated gem from the angsty ’90s, The Craft showed what happened when the freaky girls in school have access to some seriously dark mojo. When good girl Sarah faces off with mean alpha-chick Nancy, all hell breaks loose in a spectacle of CGI mystical violence.

4. Pretty much every fight with Zedd (Legend of the Seeker)

Before Legend of the Seeker, the heir apparent to Xena: Warrior Princess, made its way to the airwaves, most people had never used the term “wizard’s fire” before (that is,  if they weren’t Terry Goodkind fans). But every time a fight breaks out on Seeker, you can bet that Zeddicus will be blasting away to his heart’s content, and it just looks awesome every time.

3. Buffy vs. Adam (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Though the show was as magical as they come, Buffy’s fighting style always stemmed from the very real world of martial arts. So when in the fourth season she learned that she’d need a little extra boost to face a Frankenstein-like foe, her friends Willow, Giles, and Xander all got together and gave her their energy in a little power-enhancing spell, causing Buffy to bust out some kick-ass matrix moves, as well as turn a bullet headed for her face into a pair of white doves, which are of course the symbol of peace. And who doesn’t love a little irony with their smackdowns?

2. Dumbledore vs. Voldemort (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix)

Though the main event is reserved for the very end of the very last movie, we got a nice little treat when uber-baddie Boldemort took on the bastion of goodness, Dumbledore, in the fifth installment of the Harry Potter series. They fought with all four elements — fire, water, earth, and air — before Voldemort finally took his leave. But what an exit!

Watch the fight.

1. Gandalf vs. The Balrog (Fellowship of the Ring)

There are fights, and there are fights. When the Fellowship was fleeing the mines of Moria, they were accosted by a demon of the ancient world, a Balrog of Morgoth, a creature of shadow and flame, and a nasty attitude to boot. When Gandalf took him on to protect his friends, it was a true clash of the titans, instantly resetting the bar for what we expect to see on screen from anyone audacious enough to film a magic fight. For the gift you gave the world, Peter Jackson and company, we thank you.

Watch the fight.

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Is Fantasy More Friendly to Female Authors?

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The end of the year means one thing for magazines: lists. Lists of bests. Lists of worsts. Lists of tops. Lists of bottoms. Lists of lists. Publisher’s Weekly caused an uproar when they released their list of Top 100 books for 2009. Only 29 female authors made the cut, and none of them cracked the top ten.

The Washington Post reacted with an article called “The key to literary success? Be a man — or write like one.” Salon.com responded in kind with “If you want to be a great writer, be a man.” Both articles were written by women, recalling advice from former college professors.

As I was reading both (valid) arguments that women get the shaft in publishing circles, I couldn’t help but compare the experiences of those women to the experiences of women in the fantasy genre. Sure, fantasy is full of epic male authors: Tolkien, Lewis, Jordan, Gaimen, Pratchett, Dahl. But fantasy also has its share of celebrated (and well-paid) female writers: Kurtz, Rice, Rowling, Weis, Bradley.

Is the fantasy genre simply more friendly to female writers?

I think so.

But why?

Let’s start by looking at the biggest bang (and bank account): J.K. Rowling.

By now, her personal journey is as well-known as that of of The Boy Who Lived. For example, that “K” in “J.K.” is not even her real name. When Bloomsbury bought Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, they feared that young boys wouldn’t want to read a fantasy tale by Joanne Rowling, so she adopted an androgynous “K.”

By the time Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire hit shelves, Rowling was the highest-profile author in the world, and everyone knew the “K” was for Kathleen. It didn’t matter that J.K. Rowling was a woman; what mattered was that she hurry back to her office and start writing about Hogwarts, Year Five.

Rowling also did another thing for female writers in the fantasy genre: she blurred the lines between children’s fiction and adult fiction. Women have always been trusted with cooking, cleaning and kids; so, the children’s publishing industry has historically been more accessible to females. During Harry Potter’s off-years, many adults went digging around in the children’s sections at their local bookstores, looking for an equally entrancing fantasy fix. And publishers paid attention.

But Rowling wasn’t the first woman to enjoy monetary success and critical praise for her fantasy writing. Before her, there were vampires — and three women who, er, brought them to life.

Marilyn RossBarnabas Collins series, Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles and Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s Saint-German series changed the vampire genre. Under their pens, vampires became brooding, tragic, poetic heroes. And unlike the implicit sexual themes in vampire stories before theirs, Ross, Rice and Yarbro made it overt.

What they did for vampires, Marion Zimmer Bradley did for Arthurian Legend. Her Avalon series boldly turned Camelot on its head and examined it from the perspective of female narrators.

And what Bradley did for Arthurian Legend, Katherine Kurtz did for Medieval fantasy lit. And what Kurtz did for Medieval fantasy lit, Tanith Lee did for sorcery.

I think fantasy is more receptive to women writers because it has a long, proud history of financially successful female authors in nearly every subset of the genre. While most writers will tell you they want to bring fresh, engaging concepts to print, they will also tell you that it is much easier to get published if there’s a record of success with what you’re writing. To that end, it would be disingenuous to tell a female fantasy author that men won’t read her books simply because she is a woman.

Of course, financial success and excitement from publishers isn’t synonymous with critical acclaim. Even with the accomplishments of the women I mentioned — and the dozens I didn’t — last year’s Hugo Awards were awfully slim on female nominees. But I’m still not going to cry sexism.

If you want to be a great fantasy writer, they key isn’t writing like a man; the key is writing rich, textured, deeply-imagined stories. As women continue to do just that, it will only be a matter of time before full parity comes to the genre.

Or you could take a shot at writing your main characters sparkly genitalia.

Stephanie Meyer isn’t exactly celebrated, but she certainly hasn’t gone broke writing about vampires.

HARRY POTTER Board Games: Hogwarts-opoly, Connect Gryffindor, and More!

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Wherever there’s fandom chatter, people always want to talk about which fantasy series is better: Harry Potter or Twilight. (Answer: Potter, obviously.) But one thing no one ever talks about is how much harder it is to be a Harry Potter fan, especially when it comes to the films. While New Line is cranking out a fresh Twilight movie every six weeks, Potter fans are forced to survive on a diet of sparsely-served set photos for months (or even years!) at a time.

So, what’s a Potter fan to do as we wait for the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1? Well, you could always reread the books for the tenth time. Or, you could apply for a job as a fry cook at soon-to-open Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

Or, you could fashion yourself some Potter-themed games to pass the days until December 8th. Here are our suggestions:

Hogwarts-opoly — Turn any Monopoly board into a race to buy up properties in Diagon Alley! Steer clear of Azkaban, and don’t forget to pass Gringotts and collect your 19 Galleons, 14 Sickles and 18 Knuts!

Harry Potter Clue — Maybe you only thought you knew who did it. Was it Voldemort in Godric’s Hollow with the Horcrux? Was it really? Maybe it was Malfoy in the Whomping Willow with the Sword of Griyffindor (as if he could pull that from the Sorting Hat!). Or Hermione in The Leaky Cauldron with the Elder Wand. So many possibilities. (And think of the cross-over fan fic: Malfoy/Miss Scarlet anyone?)

Connect Gryffindor — A Neville-Hermione-Dumbledore-Lavender is  just as good as a Dean-Hagrid-Ginny-McGonagall! Just work your way around those pesky Slytherins. You should be an old pro at that by now!

Do you have any other ideas for ways to pass the time until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows?

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Women in Fantasy: Nice, Needy, or Nuisance?

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Nice, Needy, or Nuisance.

Okay, okay, these aren’t they only ways female heroes are presented in fantasy books and movies.

Just much of the time, especially in the decades before this one. Fantasy isn’t known for character nuance, but it’s especially true for its female characters. Their personalities have traditionally screamed one of these three things.

Let’s look at each in turn, and I’ll grade them on my patented “Goldilocks” scale.

The Needy

There have traditionally been plenty of needy females in fantasy — what is a “damsel in distress,” after all, except a needy female? And while that character type seemed to have fallen out of favor in 1960s, she’s back in full retro force in the form of Bella from Twilight. She’s a weak, dependent girl who exists almost solely to pine for the vampire Edward Cullen. For good measure, there’s also her clingy relationship with the shape-shifter Jacob Black.

Depressingly, angst-hungry teens have hyped these sloppily-written books and movies, turning them into a sensation. Plot wise, they’re a series of scenes that simply ask, again and again: “Should we be together? Maybe we shouldn’t be together!” The drama and fuss Bella makes more than outweighs any chemistry between her and Edward.

For me, the “needy” leading lady is an outdated female stereotype and simply doesn’t cut it in 2010.

Goldilocks Rating: Put this one into deep-freeze.

The Nuisance

What’s the opposite of Bella? Well, she’s the strong-willing, bossy control freak with “masculine” energy who yaps like a terrier whenever someone does something wrong. She is a perfectionist, a leader, a fighter, and every now and then, a bit of a brat.

Basically, she’s Hermione Granger. But she’s also basically every fantasy princess ever: Princess Buttercup in The Princess Bride, Princess Fiona in Shrek, and Princess Eilowny in The Chronicles of Prydain. You might even say she’s Goldilocks herself, who is pickiness personified.

The Nuisance has her place in stories — especially since her willfulness is usually there to provide dramatic conflict with the lead male character, who is often secretly in love with her (and vice-versa).

But let’s face it: this is simply another female stereotype, and it’s often far too one-dimensional.

Goldilocks Rating: Too hot-headed

The Nice

Which brings us to our last category. She’s the classic female in fantasies and adventures, whether it’s games, books, or movies. The Prince of Persia fought alongside her in The Sands of Time, she took a trip to see the Wizard of Oz, she’s the princess who saved Galen in Dragonslayer, and she created the land of Terabithia. For the most part, she’s neither out there stepping on toes nor lying down to be walked over like a doormat.

But she is also usually a selfless, sacrificing saint.

And who’s more selfless than Arwen Evenstar in The Lord of the Rings? She’s willing to give up her very mortality to be with the man she loves!

Goldilocks Rating: Better, but still not quite right.

Looking at these three fantasy heroine types, the question must be asked: why must females still be so one-dimensional? The “real” female is, of course, nice, needy, and a nuisance — at different times.

And sometimes, she is none of these things.

The most likable and memorable characters in fantasy lately — Buffy, Willow, Xena, Gabrielle, Selene, and even Hermione, for the most part — are sometimes “stereotypical” females, but at other times, they shatter these stereotypes completely.

The point is, they’re not always the same. They’re complicated.

Most of all, the one thing they have in common is that they’re more than just the “love interest.” They’re the leading actors in their own stories, sometimes flawed, sometime heroic, just like male characters always have been.

Goldilocks herself would surely agree that these are the sorts of female characters that are “just right.”

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From the Palantir! Jon Stewart Takes on George Lucas Over the Crappy STAR WARS Prequels. Plus, is AVATAR Racist?

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  • For the next four weeks, they’re offering tours of the set for The Voyage of the Dawn Treader at something called Movie World, which is a theme park in the Gold Coast of Australia.
  • Earlier this week, I complained that I was reading critics’ list of the best movies of the 00s and they didn’t include The Lord of the Rings, but in fairness, here’s a list of all the critics who did. I especially appreciate the critics who included all three movies in three different spots, not just lumping them together in one slot. Interestingly, Metacritic says that The Return of the King was the best-reviewed of the all the decade’s Best Picture winners.
  • Is Avatar unconsciously racist (or at least racially insensitive)? The argument is that the story of minority-liberation is told, yet again, from the POV of a member of the “white” majority; racial minorities are allowed to be sort of “side-heroes” in their own story, but they really exist only to motivate the main character, who is the one who does all the changing. It’s a compelling argument, but I agree with this writer, that the “racist” argument misses the point of the movie, that Jake’s transformation has all the elements of good drama. More baldly, I’d also point out that the way the existing movie is framed, it’s far more likely to seen by a “white majority,” exposing them to the whole issue of the oppression of native and indigenous people; in short, the audience is “transformed” along with Jake. But since “the Great White Hope” is typically the only way this story is ever told, I totally get how some native people could be annoyed.
  • Speaking of politics, is Pixar socially conservative? Uh, frankly, I’m annoyed and offended by the whole idea that only conservatives care about “family” — I’d argue that, rhetoric aside, the exact opposite is often true. As for The Incredibles being somewhat Ayn Randian, I had no idea that Mr. Incredible was supposed to be any kind of role model. I interpreted the character to be an annoying, arrogant, entitled a**hole.
  • Thanks to Avatar and Harry Potter (and, in must be said, Twilight and Transformers), Hollywood set a record. And it’s not just because ticket prices are up (in part, due to 3-D); overall ticket sales were up 4% too.
  • EW does a survey which results in Harry Potter being named “entertainer” of the decade. I’m not exactly sure what this means, but I suppose it’s fair.
  • Ten (funny) reasons why 2010 will be crap. Here’s what they say about Voyage of the Dawn Treader (to be released this year): “Oh really? You’re really going to make all the Narnia movies, even though The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe is literally the only one that people like? The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader hasn’t got any witches OR wardrobes in it, plus all the adorable child actors from the first film are all about 35 years old by now. Plus it’s about a boat. Plus if they keep making Narnia films, we’ll eventually have to put up with The Horse And His Boy, a story about a horse. And a boy. Crap crap crappity crap.”
  • Peter Jackson and Patrick Stewart have both been knighted. I should hope so! But I hope it doesn’t make me a geek when I point out that Stewart was already a knight, having played King Leondegrance, Guinevere’s father, in the 1981 film Excalibur.
  • After Robert Downey Jr. has been on all the talk shows joking that Sherlock Holmes and Watson are secretly gay, the rights-holder to the character says she would withdraw her permission if this was pursued in future films (but, of course, she’s not anti-gay!). First, Downey is clearly joking. Second, there’s no way in hell a studio would invest this much in a movie without first making sure they have iron-clad sequel rights.
  • Jon Stewart discusses fan reaction (positive and very, very negative) to Star Wars with George Lucas. Truthfully, it’s pretty interesting, especially talking about the generational differences. (Stewart says, hilariously, “My son says his favorite movie is The Phantom Menace. And I’ve explained to him, ‘No, it isn’t!’”
  • Stephen King named 2012 as one of his favorite movies of 2009. Apparently, when he was knocked over by that van a few years back, he took a serious blow to the head!

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Is THE LORD OF THE RINGS the Movie “Event” of the Last Decade?

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The incredible resurgence of the fantasy genre, which began in the 1980s and gathered steam in the 1990s, exploded in the 00s.

Nowhere is this more obvious than in the amazing success of The Lord of the Rings movie franchise, the three movies of which were all released this decade:  The Fellowship of the Ring (2001), The Two Towers (2002), and The Return of the King (2003).

By any measure, the movies were an unparalleled success. Together, they make up the most financially successful movie trilogy of all time, grossing almost  $3 billion worldwide and beating out both Star Wars trilogies (although the original Star Wars trilogy out-grosses Rings when adjusted for inflation).

The films received rave reviews, and currently hold a cumulative 94% “fresh” on the RottenTomatoes.com compilation of film reviews — an extraordinary rating for a single film, much less three.

The films were nominated for 30 Academy Awards and won 17 — the most for any trilogy and another extraordinary achievement, especially given that all three films were nominated for Best Picture. The Return of the King ties the record (with Ben-Hur) for the most awards won by a single movie (11).

Even so, plenty of movie critics were somehow able to convince themselves to ignore the obvious in their own “best of the decade” lists — probably due to a combined suspicion of both massive box office success and genre projects in general.

But early in December, Entertainment Weekly acknowledged the truth, naming the movies the Best of the Decade.

Interestingly, in other end-of-the-decade news, Harry Potter dominated the bestselling book list for the decade, holding six of the top ten spots. Fantasy (in the form of the Twilight books) holds three of the other ten slots, with a fantasy-esque book, The Da Vinci Code, holding the last spot.

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They’re Adapting Your Favorite Fantasy Book or Comic for the Movies. How Much Change is Too Much?

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Many beloved fantasy films (and these days, television series as well) are adapted from novels and comic books, and it’s almost unheard of that a story will be reflected on the screen precisely as it’s described on the page.

There are several reasons for these changes, but the broadest one is this: novels and movies are simply different animals. For example, while pacing in the written word can afford to take its time, a movie has a time limit, usually around 2 hours (or 3, for epic fantasy like Lord of the Rings.) The number of characters is as limitless in a novel as the author’s imagination, while in film and television, for each new character you face the very real issues of casting, salaries, agents, actors’ egos, etc.

Ultimately, for those charged with the thankless task of adapting a story for the large or small screen, the job becomes about remaining true to the spirit of the story, rather than making a literal translation.

And wouldn’t it be nice if it were always as cut-and-dry as that?

The problem adapters often face is the cruel and vicious reaction from the fanboy community. No matter what, no adaptation is ever good enough to appease everybody, and fantasy fans are a particularly fanatical bunch. (In fact, by sheer coincidence, someone wrote in this week to the Oracle to discuss this very topic.)

When Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens set out on the monumental task of adapting The Lord of the Rings for the screen, they knew there would be much that had to be changed in order to streamline the events into a cohesive trilogy of films. Large sections were cut or simplified. Whole characters, like the enigmatic Tom Bombadil, were excised completely. For Frodo, who was 50 years old in the book, they cast the teen-aged Elijah Wood. The love story of Arwen and Aragorn was significantly beefed up.

Did the writers go too far? The reaction is split, and while almost everyone can agree that the films were a success, there still remains a faction of rabid fanboys who have turned their back on the movies (often after watching them many times to find out just why they hate them.)

The first two Harry Potter films were very true to the books, and as a result, while enjoyable, they felt a little long and leisurely paced. The third film, Prisoner of Azkaban (the best of all the films thus far, in my opinion), departed both in style from its predecessors, and in the way it streamlined major plot points. Every film since then has begun to play like a reader’s digest version of the books, which grew to mammoth lengths.

When Watchmen came out earlier this year, the director Zach Snyder brought to the screen what many people considered an “unfilmable” story, and it worked splendidly. But because of some plot-tweaking in the end which included the omission of a giant squid, a whole slew of devotees of the graphic novel thought the film was ruined.

Is there an obvious answer, a litmus test to determine how much change made in adaptations is too much? Unfortunately, no. Adapting a story is an art, and like all art, whether the artist achieved their goal is entirely subjective. What one would hope is that those in the fan community maintain a level of civilized and polite discourse when bringing up their opinions via the internet.

What a world that would be, huh?

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DEATHLY HALLOWS Featurette

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Fantasy’s Best Pets, Familiars, and Animal Companions!

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Where would fantasy heroes be without their trusted animal companions? Just like the rest of us with our pets, they’d be lost. So let’s take a look at some of the most memorable, shall we?

(Incidentally, there are plenty of fantasy stories that involve relationships between humans and magical creatures such as unicorns and dragons, but for the purposes of this article, we’re restricting ourselves only to creatures that have a real-life counterpart here on Earth!)

Scabbers (from Harry Potter)

Hapless Ron’s unpredictable pet rat Scabbers is, of course, not a real rat at all, but it’s not until the third book in the series that he’s revealed as the polymorphed Peter Pettigrew, a coward whose treachery led to the death of Harry’s parents. Pettigrew’s animal disguise plays an instrumental role in Prisoner of Azkaban, inspiring Sirius Black’s escape from prison after he recognizes the rat in a photograph, and Scabbers figures prominently into the book’s conclusion as well.

Coolness Factor: 2 (out of 5)
Loyalty: 1 (out of 5)
Importance to the Plot: 4 (out of 5)

Overall Rating:

Two Torches (Out of Five)


Argo (from Xena: Warrior Princess)

Xena is no ordinary warrior — so why should she have an ordinary horse? Sure enough, hers is extraordinarily intelligent, sensing danger, responding to a number of different commands, being able to command other horses, and even once enduring having been turned into a miniature version of herself. Speaking of which, is Argo male or female? While referred to as “boy” in earlier seasons, she is eventually identified as female (and was usually portrayed by a mare). The horse died during Xena and Gabrielle’s Ares-induced 25-year sleep in the ice-cave, but gave birth to a daughter, Argo II, who, remarkably, had all of Argo’s abilities.

Incidentally, did you ever wonder why Gabrielle had no horse? According to the producers speaking at a fan convention, it took three horses to make it look like Xena had one horse. For Gabrielle to have had a horse, that would have meant having six horses on hand — something that was financially impossible.

Coolness factor: 3 (out of 5)
Loyalty Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Importance to the Story: 2 (out of 5)

Overall Rating:

Three Torches (Out of Five)


Hedwig (Harry Potter)

There’s one question that every reader of the Harry Potter series has asked him or herself at least once: why don’t wizards have email? Then again, would you use email if you have something as cool as Hedwig, Harry’s pet snowy owl, to deliver messages to your friends? Hedwig is, of course, a gift from Hagrid, purchased in Diagon Alley in the first book in the series, and was definitely an owl with ‘tude, never willing to put up with Harry’s thoughtlessness. Sadly, Hedwig is killed in Deathly Hallows by none other than a stray curse.

Coolness Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Loyalty Factor: 4 (out of 5)
Importance to the Story: 2 (out of 5)

Overall Rating:

Three and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

The Animals of Aladdin

All the main characters in the animated Disney movie Aladdin share a bond with an animal that reflects his or her underlying personality: Aladdin has his impetuous monkey Abu, Jasmine has her regal tiger Rajah, and Jafar has his mean parrot Iogo. But the animal companions don’t just mimic their owners, they also reflect the underlying theme of the movie, which is more sophisticated than it seems at first glance: when you try to possess and enslave someone else, you ultimately end up enslaving yourself. True freedom, just like true love, only comes from freeing others and giving them the choice to set you free as well.

And for the record, it applies to life, but it also applies to our relationship with our real-world pets!

Coolness Factor: 3 (out of 5)
Loyalty Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Importance to the Story: 4 (out of 5)

Overall Rating:

Four Torches (Out of Five)

Daemons (from His Dark Materials)

In perhaps the most interesting aspect of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series of books, every human in that alternate-”Earth” is accompanied in life by a “daemon” — that person’s soul made manifest in the form of an animal. In children, the daemon changes forms, finally settling into a single animal upon adulthood — a creature that reflects that person’s underlying personality. Humans share a bond with this personification of their soul that is so intimate that touching another’s daemon is unthinkable. And while separating a human from his or her daemon is possible — and factors closely into the plot of the books — doing so turns both into virtual zombies.

Coolness Factor: 4 (out of 5)
Loyalty Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Importance to the Story: 5 (out of 5)

Overall Rating:

Four Torches (Out of Five)

The Talking Animals (from The Chronicles of Narnia)

With a few exceptions, it’s hard to find better companions than the talking animals of Narnia. Most of these animals rarely stretch beyond their stereotypes — donkeys are stupid, owls are wise, cats can be unreliable, and dogs are loyal. But every now and then, author C.S. Lewis surprises us, as with one of the most memorable of Narnia’s talking animals, Reepicheep: the bravest, most noble creature in all of Narnia (excepting Aslan) is none other than … a mouse. And then there is Aslan. Is there another story that turns an animal into a metaphor for God?

Coolness Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Loyalty Factor: 5 (out of 5)
Importance to t