Okay, we all know that we are in the midst of a veritable explosion of movies based on Greek Myths. Percy Jackson, Clash of the Titans, Dawn of War … heck, we’ve talked about it before.
But I’m going to put it out there: I’m a mega-geek when it comes to Greek myths. Seriously. And I have a few ideas on what myths are still out there, waiting to be adapted, that can be turned into tomorrow’s blockbuster. (And guess what, Hollywood? They’re all in the public domain!)
So here we go …
#1: The Attic War, aka The Amazonamachy
One of the myths closest to my heart is that of Theseus, and his adventures both with the Minotaur, and later in life. Though his Minotaurian exploits are about to be turned into movie magic — finally – with Dawn of War, Theseus had a very rich life afterward, as well. Following his victory in Crete, Theseus then set his heart on winning the hand of Antiope (or by some accounts, Hippolyta), the queen of the Amazons.
There are several accounts of what happened afterward, but my favorite is the version in which the Amazon nation laid siege to Athens in an attempt to reclaim their queen. Though the ending doesn’t mesh with my feminist ideals — Antiope and, indeed, the rest of the Amazons, were destroyed — come on! What an epic battle! Athenians vs. Amazons! We haven’t seen the likes of this since the Pelennor Fields.
Fantasy Casting: Andy Whitfield as Theseus
#2: Eros and Psyche
Because of the legendary nature of Greek mythology, cinematic adaptations tend towards the uber-epic, and almost every movie is an actioner. But every now and then, Greek myths produced some seriously romantic stuff, and none more so than the story of the young woman Psyche, who was the object of affection for Eros, the son of Aphrodite, the often-bitchy goddess of love.
Psyche was a mortal whose beauty rivaled that of Aphrodite, so the jealous goddess asked her son to use his arrows of love to make Psyche fall in love with a hideous beast. The problem? Psyche was such a super-hottie that Eros fell madly in love with her.
This set Psyche on a quest to win her beloved god, and the major obstacle in her way was none other than Aphrodite. This would be a rare opportunity for a Greek myth movie to showcase two female leads as nemeses, and look super sexy while doing it.
Fantasy Casting: Michelle Pfeiffer as Aphrodite
#3: Hunt for the Calydonian Boar
While we’re on the subject of female leads, the legendary Atalanta was probably history’s first female action hero, a young woman who hunted as well as any man, if not better. She was invited by the prince Meleager to participate in the all-male hunt for the monstrous boar that was terrorizing the city of Calydon.
She was the first hunter to wound the boar, thus allowing Meleager to deliver the killing blow. When he offered her the prize for being responsible for its slaying, the men in the hunting party rebelled, and all hell broke loose.
This would be a great opportunity for a Xena-like character to appear on screen, and since we’re not going to be seeing a Xena movie, well, ever … the story of Atalanta can perhaps fill that void.
Fantasy Casting: Jessica Biel as Atalanta
#4: The Titanomachy, or Olympians vs. Titans
Long before the appearance of human beings, the world was a prize being fought over between the old race of the Titans, led by the villainous Kronos, and the younger race of Olympians, led by Kronos’ son, Zeus.
This battle lasted ten years, the exact length of time that the game-changing Trojan War also lasted, and it decided the fate of the world, specifically that it would be led by the younger, more human race of Olympian gods, as opposed to the primeval Titans.
The Titanomachy is really a metaphor for any younger generation taking the place of the previous one, but as far as epic warfare goes, it can’t be beaten. If the more well-known Greek myths are The Lord of the Rings, then the Titanomachy is The Silmarillion. It would be epic film-making the likes of which have never before been seen.
Fantasy Casting: Christian Bale as Zeus (Seriously)
#5: Hippolytus
I’ve already mentioned the marriage of Theseus and Antiope, but did you know that their union produced a son? A very noble son named Hippolytus, who pledged his life to Artemis, the goddess of virginity and the hunt, and in her name abstained from love. This eventually led to his undoing by the wicked goddess Aphrodite, who was furious that he spurned her in favor of the virgin goddess.
Aphrodite cursed his step-mother, Phaedra, to fall in love with him, which resulted in her hanging herself and his father banishing him, and invoking the god Poseidon to destroy him. This is truly the stuff of tragedy.
But there’s a beauty in that tragedy, and Hippolytus is a story that should be told, for much of the plot deals with one of the most fundamental questions of humanity: are our lives in our own hands, or are they governed by the gods?
And … just putting this out there … if Hollywood is looking for a cleverly alternative take on the Hippolytus myth, may I suggest adapting a play called The Wrath of Aphrodite by a young playwright named Tim O’Leary? Not that I have an investment in that or anything. Just thought I’d bring it up.
Fantasy Casting: Rafi Gavron as Hippolytus
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A: The Oracle cautions you that I was told by the producers that they’ll answer most of the questions raised in the pilot by the end of the first season — but not all of them, and not the central mystery behind the flash-forwards.
Q: Okay, I know the Minotaur had the body of a man and the head of a bull. But was there one Minotaur — or was it a species of creatures, like centaurs? — Abby, Halifax, Nova Scotia 
Anyone who hasn’t had their head in the sand for the past few months knows that Warner Brothers is releasing a remake of the classic 80s Greek myth movie, Clash of the Titans, in March of next year. The original was a fun, wild ride through a world that seemed to have been created by someone who had only read a children’s book about the basics of Greek myths, but it was a good time nonetheless. Based on some images released by Warner Brothers, the remake looks to be darker, grittier, and more violent than the original, as is the custom of the times, unfortunately. Apparently you can still make movies with guys in skirts; they’re just never allowed to smile. Thanks a lot for that joyless tradition, Troy.
(Interestingly, Theseus is most famous for the myth in which he slew the half-bull, half-human Minotaur on what could have been a suicide mission, thus liberating Athens and becoming its king. Why no one has turned that story into a feature film is beyond me — it seems a lot more interesting and exciting than watching Gerard Butler yell at the camera and flex his abs.)
