I’ve just about had it with Fringe.

If it weren’t for the fact that this Thursday’s episode, “Jacksonville,” promises to shed major light on the series’ overall William Bell/dual dimension plotline, I think I’d be done with it completely.

What’s the bee in my bonnet? Two things about the show are driving me absolutely bananas:

First, there’s the fact that Dr. Walter Bishop was apparently intimately involved in every experimental research project ever conducted and is the world’s top expert in dozens of disparate scientific fields.

This is despite the fact that he’d spent the 17 years prior to the start of the show in a mental institution. In the real world, scientific knowledge reportedly doubles somewhere between every five and ten years. In the world of Fringe, not so much.

I understand how he would be privy to knowledge about the show’s central mystery, since he and William Bell were the one’s responsible for creating it. But does his previous research have to be the driving force behind virtually every mystery the show confronts? When did the man sleep?!

But mostly what’s driving me crazy about the show is that its science is just so unbelievably bad.

Here’s the thing: I am far from a science “purist.” I always tuned out the blowhards who criticized the science of Star Trek, since they clearly didn’t understand that, first and foremost, the show existed to entertain. Clearly, it also tried to provoke thought about issues both scientific and social, but I actually think it was (mostly) a good thing that they never let themselves get too bogged down in science, because it made the show accessible to a broad audience.

But in spite of all of Star Trek’s inaccuracies and inconsistencies, I believe they at least gave the science some thought. And the visionaries behind Star Trek clearly had a deep love of both science and the future — which is precisely why so many scientists claim to have been inspired by it.

By contrast, it’s clear that the producers of Fringe don’t give a f*** about science.

I understand that the gimmick of the show is that it deals with the paranormal which, by definition, stretches the boundaries of science. But they clearly want to highlight the simplest, most attention-getting (and most dumbed-down) “scientific” phenomena possible — and they don’t give a whit about actual science.

Consider:

• In “What Lies Below,” the January 21st episode, Walter confronts a preposterous “thinking” virus that infects his son, Peter, but in less than an hour, despite having no lab and very little equipment, he’s able to isolate the virus and concoct an antidote out of horseradish from a refrigerator — horseradish! — that immediately works on everyone infected.

• In “Of Human Action,” the November 12th episode, a researcher is conducting an experiment that would allow pilots to control planes with their brains, and when his son takes the “enhancement” drugs, it gives him the ability to psychically control other people — because, you know, the human brain is just “another kind of computer.” Fortunately, Walter is able to prevent the mind-control by creating special headphones (!!!) for the FBI agents to wear.

• In “Unearthed,” the January 11th episode (an unaired episode from the first season), a dying girl is “possessed” by an evil man who just happens to be dying at the same time. His spiritual energy didn’t dissipate due to, um, previous “heavy radiation exposure” while in a Russian sub, and he “jumped ship” to the dying girl.

• Despite the fact that the structure of DNA wasn’t even identified until 1953, in “The Bishop Revival,” the January 28th episode, it turns out that the Nazis (and Walter Bishop’s father, working as a spy) had developed an air-born toxin that attacked specific genes and could immediately kill anyone who had them.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

It’s like their not even trying — not even bothering with the fig leaf of Star Trek’s techno-babble to cover the nakedness of their pseudo-science.

Basically, Gilligan’s Island took science more seriously when they had the Professor making a car out of bamboo and coconut shells!

Hey, whatever. So there’s no love or deep affection for science on Fringe. So they’re even cheapening it — cynically flashing science’s most attention-getting elements, like dancers flashing body parts in some bawdy burlesque show, acting without nuance or elegance. They’re not the first to do this, and they won’t be the last.

But Fringe is not Gilligan’s Island. It pretends to be serious speculative fiction.

Basically, they’re making it impossible for me to enjoy the show. My knowledge of science is limited at best — hey, I was a social sciences studies major! But increasingly, I find my eyes rolling out of my head by the stupid and sloppily-conceived premises of most of their episodes.

Thursday’s episode better be spectacular. Because if it isn’t, I am so outta here.

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• Hey, a movie based on Mistborn is in the works! And author Brandon Sanderson is actually optimistic that it might get made.

• The Vatican has come out strongly against Avatar, because it presents “nature-worship.” Sadly, I think this (a) completely misses the point of the movie, and (b) is just more of their usual “man is the center of the universe” nonsense. Expect them to denounce The Force soon too.

• Everyone else is posting it, so I might as well: Star Wars burlesque — and Leia in the metal bikini is the least of it! The whole photo gallery here.

• Yes, I’m deliberately ignoring the whole Spider-Man fiasco. Everyone here knows what I think about sequels and “reboots,” especially in the superhero genre (cynical and unbelievably tired). You know what? There’s no Constitutional amendment that says that there must always be a “current” franchise for all these characters! Every time you retell one of these stories for the 30,000th time, that means there’s one more newer, fresher story that won’t get told. (Well, hey, I guess I didn’t ignore it after all.)

• It’s not fantasy-specific, but an interesting short piece on how all authors repeat themselves, but some outright recycle (*cough* John Irving *cough*).

• As I read this, it sounds like Buena Vista will release a soundtrack for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, and another CD, Almost Alice, with the movie’s theme song and a bunch of other songs by familiar artists “inspired” by the characters in the movie (although the music doesn’t actually exist in the movie). This is either brilliant or cynical, depending on your point-of-view.

• Speaking of unnecessary sequels, Ivan Reitman will direct Ghostbusters 3. More bad news? The screenplay is by the writers of the painfully unfunny Year One.

• This interview with J.J. Abrams about Fringe, about how they’re still trying to decide the series’ overall story arc (and if, like Lost, it should have a definite “ending”), seems to be missing one crucial point: ratings have been lousy all season, and it may not be their choice when the show ends.

• Do you think D&D 4.0 is bland and homogeneous — that they tried to turn it into World of Warcraft? One blogger has a solution.

• I honestly thought this was a joke, but I guess it’s not: Christopher “Saruman” Lee (seen in the From the Palantir logo, above!) is releasing a “symphonic metal” album. Shades of Leonard Nimoy singing The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins?

• It’s official: Clash of the Titans won’t be 3-D. The glasses make my ears hurt anyway.

• The incredible shrinking sci-fi project! First, it was a series, then it was a mini-series, now it’s a two-hour movie! Poor Day One. If it does well, it could still be a series, but let’s face it: this (along with poor ratings for Heroes, Fringe, Flash Forward, and other shows) does not bode well for sci-fi on network TV.

• Are The Chronicles of Narnia being de-Christianed? The right-wing news outlet The Washington Times thinks so. But given how outrageously biased everything I read in that newspaper is — think Fox “News” without even Shepherd Smith — I am skeptical of anything they say.

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• Okay, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice isn’t what I expected at all. The first trailer is out, but can I just say? How in the hell did Nicolas Cage get to be a superstar? He’s annoyed me ever since Peggy Sue Got Married.

• Fringe has cast Peter’s mother (Walter’s wife). But what’s the deal with her age? (Spoiler alert) Incidentally, what happened to Theresa Russell anyway? I thought she was supposed to be a love interest for Walter.

• Maybe new media isn’t quite the king yet after all. Nielsen says 99% of video viewing is done on a traditional TV — and out of 31 hours of weekly TV viewing, only 31 minutes is in DVR/playback mode. Meanwhile, studio executives say that the death of the DVD market is wildly overstated — that it’s mostly due to the recession, and that, regardless, Blu-Ray is making them a bundle.

• A producer of speculative fiction magazines is paying 1/5 of one cent per word — a shockingly low rate. An editor says that obscure credits in magazines no one has heard of won’t help you break through. What do professional writers get paid? Here’s another writer’s more pessimistic take. (This is all complicated by the fact that there is basically no real professional market for short stories anymore, but both writers’ experiences are consistent with my own experience: pay rates for short stories vary wildly, which is why pay is only one of the things you should take into consideration when writing short stories. I’ll write em as a favor to a friend putting together an anthology, but that’s about all.)

• Hmmmm. Universal is bragging via email that The Wolfman, coming in February, received an “R,” for “bloody horror, violence and gore.”

• Despite all the rumors, casting for The Hobbit is just beginning (except for Ian McKellen, returning as Gandalf). Meanwhile, Peter Jackson says disregard those rumors that the film has been delayed.

• Why is sci-fi literature dying while fantasy is flourishing? One writer gives some good reasons.

• Sigourney Weaver really, really likes Avatar:  “It will pick you up and shake you like a little rag doll. I’m not too much of an emotional creature, but I was weeping by the end. I remember reading the script and thinking, I love this but how can he ever do this. Nothing like this has been done before – floating mountains! I think for a certain generation it will change what they want to happen in the cinema. It is as big as sound. I hope it won’t impact every movie, but for the big movies it raises the bar – it throws the bar away.”

• Will a sci-fi picture get a Best Picture nod now that the category will now have ten nominees? Conventional wisdom is that the movie with the strongest shot is Star Trek (which is ridiculous, IMHO), although I think it would be an outrage if District 9 was not a contender, since I thought it was easily one of the best pictures of the year. Where the Wild Things Are is also sometimes mentioned as a possibility, but I think that’s extremely unlikely (if you read this site, you know I think that was one of the worst movies of the year, hands down). The Road and Moon are also mentioned as possibilities.

• Terry Gilliam is interested in Robert Duvall for The Man Who Killed Don Quixote, but as usual, Duvall is all “show me the money!”

• Author Joel Shepherd explains the power of the female protagonist, especially in fantasy: “Given that male leadership is the norm in most societies even today, putting a woman in the role of primary protagonist automatically creates a series of tensions that I don’t get with a male character. In a medieval-level society even more so.”

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Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains major spoilers for the “Momentum Deferred” episode of Fringe.

Well, finally we get some answers!

I’ve written previously how annoyed I was that Fringe was playing the “amnesia” card — for the second time! — when it came to Olivia’s return from the “other” dimension.

Fortunately, the “amnesia” didn’t last most of the season long (as I feared). In “Momentum Deferred,” Olivia remembers her time spent with William Bell.

(Incidentally, is it really a good idea to ingest an experimental concoction designed to induce lost memories right before going out on assignment?!)

So what exactly does William tell Olivia?

He confirms that shape-shifters are visitors from the other dimension and that they’re planning for some kind of invasion. More importantly, she — and only she — can find the person in “our” dimension who is capable opening a “door” between the two dimensions. That’s that “important thing” she couldn’t quite remember she had to do.

From this, Nina Sharpe adds in the rest: if the two dimensions ever do come together, only one will survive.

All good stuff. I just wish we’d learned it in the season premiere rather than having to wait four episodes.

Anyway, solid episode. Here’s what else I liked:

• Nicely visual, if slightly gimmicky, way to have Olivia realize that Charlie is the shape-shifter (with the cell-phone tapped into the laboratory).
• Leonard Nimoy can do no wrong — and I like the character’s moral ambiguity/indifference a lot.
• Blair Brown (as Nina Sharp) can do no wrong.
• The show is doing “creepy” extremely well, with the “disorientation” that Olivia experiences in the other dimension, the search for “heads,” and the pay-off at the end, when the head “reattaches” itself.

But Theresa Russell as Walter’s love interest? That could be interesting.

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Two major guest stars are appearing on two different fantasy/sci-fi shows this week, ironically airing at the same time.

Leonard Nimoy makes his first appearance on Fringe since last year’s season finale (not counting brief glimpses), appearing as the enigmatic William Bell in Olivia’s flashbacks (Thursday, Fox, 9 PM).

Here’s a preview:

Meanwhile, Paris Hilton will guest-star on Supernatural as a demon version of herself (or is that redundant?) in a town where famous icons like Abraham Lincoln, James Dean’s car, and Hilton are killing people (Thursday, 9 PM, The CW).

Here’s a preview:

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Back again for another highly opinionated — some might even say downright cranky — look at the week in fantasy. You’ve been warned!

LET THE VAMPIRE BACKLASH BEGIN!

No, seriously. Let it begin. Because if it doesn’t start soon, I’m going to kill myself.

Unfortunately, the evidence so far suggests that it’s not coming any time soon.

Earlier in the week, I touched upon how discouraging it is to see a show like The Vampire Diaries get massive ratings (setting a record on the network), while Supernatural, which followed it, lost most of that lead-in.

If you’re following my articles, you know I don’t think that Diaries is a terrible show — it’s pretty good for what it is.

But it’s basically a soap opera with vampires. It just doesn’t hold a candle to Supernatural it terms of quality or complexity (IMHO).

And yet audiences — or hoards of teenage girls, at last — seem to want nothing but more vampires.

A reader tells me (and Publishers Weekly confirms) that angels may be the next vampire-like craze, at least in publishing. But trust me, there are a zillion more vampire projects coming too.

It’s hard to tell Hollywood not to follow the vampire herd given the insane, phenomenal successes of, in quick succession, Twilight, True Blood, and now The Vampire Diaries.

But I still say it’s like the housing market. When vampire “securities” fall, they’re going to fall hard, and a lot of people are going to lose a lot of money.

Or so I keep saying! Maybe if I say it often enough, it’ll finally come true.

USE THE FORCE, OBI-BAMA!

So you gotta love the picture, above, of Obama with a light saber, taken during the announcement for Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympic games. (Hat tip, /film.com)

MORE ON OLIVIA DUNHAM’S CONVENIENTLY TIMED AMNESIA

So in my review of last night’s season premiere of Fringe, I mentioned in passing something that bugged me: the fact that Olivia Dunham, having returned from the “alternate dimension” of last season’s finale, is back in the “real” world … but she doesn’t remember what happened there, or what “really important” thing she has do to prevent some big catastrophe.

I’ve long had a low tolerance for “amnesia” storylines, mostly because they seem like a writers’ cheat — a way to reset a plot without having to use any actual thought or creativity — but I guess every show needs to be allowed one case of amnesia.

But when I was writing that review, it occurred to me that Fringe already has the biggest “amnesia cheat” in the history of television in the character of Walter Bishop.

Walter was involved in, apparently, every science project ever conceived … until he went insane 17 years ago and has to be institutionalized. Now, whenever the plot calls for it, he “remembers” a key pierce of information from his previous research — often in the final act, so the other characters can then “solve” the mystery of the episode.

Sure, whatever. This isn’t the first show to use nonsensical “science-babble” to set up a plot, or as a sort of deus-ex-machina to resolve that plot. But now for Fringe to do the exact same thing they did with Walter with Olivia?

The more I think about this, the more annoyed I become.

THE TINDER BOX TAKES ON THE IDIOT BOX

What can we look forward to on television this week, fantasy-wise?

Clive Barker’s Book of Blood, a miniseries based on some of Barker’s short stories, turns up on SyFy this Sunday (9 PM/8 C). It’ll be out on DVD the following week.

Trailer for Clive Barker’s Book of Blood

In other TV news, Heroes is back with its two-hour season premiere on Monday (NBC, 8 PM/ 7 C); Eastwick, a remake of The Witches of Eastwick, debuts on Wednesday (ABC, 10 PM/9 C); and Smallville is back for its ninth season on Friday (The CW, 8 PM/7 C).

I’ll have my review of the premiere of Flash Forward (ABC, Thursday, 8 PM/7C) up early next week, but nutshell? It’s a good show.

THE TINDER BOX AT THE BOX OFFICE

Two fantasy-esque movies open this weekend in theaters: Jennifer’s Body, a movie about a girl possessed by a demon that’s being panned, and the animated flick Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, an adaptation of a children’s book that is getting raves.

Just as with Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, I have this sinking feeling that one is going to be a big hit and the other not-so-much. But again, I suspect the one that’s going to be a hit (*cough* Megan Fox *cough*) won’t be the one that deserves to be.

Well, this week’s flame has sputtered out, but join me again next week when I promise I won’t be nearly so cranky.

Oh, who am I kidding?!

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Four Torches (Out of Five)

In the season finale of the last season of Fringe, we learned that parallel universes exist — and that, in fact, Walter Bishop had created a device in order to go into one of them to get an “alternate-Peter” after his son died in this universe.

At the end of the episode, Olivia traveled into that universe too, a dimension where the World Trade Center was never destroyed, to finally meet the mysterious William Bell (played, in darn near perfect casting, by the mysterious Leonard Nimoy).

In the season premiere, airing this Thursday on Fox (opposite Supernatural, damn them, at 9 PM/8 C), Olivia comes back from that other dimension.

Boy, does she come back!

The sequence where she reenters this world is one of the weirdest and most interesting I’ve seen in a long time.

The episode picks up right where the finale left off. But almost everything is left unexplained, so don’t expect to see more of William Bell just yet.

Instead, we get lots of action, and a new FBI character, Meghan Markle’s Amy Jessup, to replace Kirk Acevedo’s Charlie Francis (who isn’t gone just yet).

The opener is fast-paced and fun, but I saw a few red flags that concern me:

First, Olivia has amnesia, which means she doesn’t remember what happened in the other dimension, or what “really important thing” she has to do to prevent catastrophe in this dimension.

Really? Amnesia has looooong been the lazy writer’s best friend. (And the Fringe writers have already used their “amnesia” chit on, well, Walter’s entire character!) Olivia’s amnesia disappointed me a lot.

Second, I have this unsettling sensation (in part, because of Olivia’s amnesia) that they’re bottling up the William Bell/alternate dimension storyline until later in the season — sweeps week, perhaps.

I know that creator J.J. Abrahms has said that, contrary to Lost, he wants this show to be easier to follow. I can appreciate that.

But I like this show best when it get backs to its serialized central mystery. I like it least when it veers into the “monster-of-the-week” territory.

Last red flag? [minor spoiler here] The “Fringe” department is being shut down. This is a fine complication so far as it goes, and probably inevitable given the need for dramatic conflict.

But once again, the show is veering uncomfortably close to The X-Files territory. The fact is, that show is so iconic that Fringe simply has no choice but to steer as far away from The X-Files‘ storylines as possible, to avoid the inevitable comparisons on the part of the viewer. Anyway, I hope this isn’t a major plot-line.

But hey, these are mostly just quibbles. I enjoyed the opener a lot, and I’m sure fans of last season will too!

A preview of the Fringe season opener

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One of the things I most love about the Fox show Fringe , the second season of which premieres this Thursday, is the tough, no-nonsense character of Olivia Dunham.

But I recently had a chance to chat with Anna Torv, the actress who plays that character (and who also voiced and modeled the character of Nariko in the Playstation 3 game Heavenly Sword).

She surprised me, because she couldn’t have been more different than the character she plays on Fringe — and the fact that Anna, unlike Olivia, is Australian, born in Melbourne and raised on the Gold Coast, is the least of it.

In person, Anna is warm, open, and possibly even a little bit of a girly-girl — more than Olivia, that’s for sure. And Anna has a much better sense of humor (although — let’s face it — that isn’t hard!).

Still, the two women do share at least a few things in common: they’re both very smart and very dedicated to their jobs.

Now as much as I still love the character Olivia Dunham, based on my brief time with Anna, I like the actress who plays her a whole lot too.

TheTorchOnline: I love you and I love your character.

Anna Torv: [laughs] Oh, you’re just saying that.

TTO: I’m not. I might have said it even if it wasn’t true, but I swear it really is! She’s such a rich, well-rounded, kick-ass character, especially for a female in sci-fi. I’m assuming this is what drew you to the part in the first place?

AT: In the first place, yes, [that's what drew me] because that’s kind of what it was set up to be. But things shift and change in TV.

I know that things are shifting a bit in the second season. Peter’s character is becoming a lot more proactive.

But I love the writers for doing that, making Olivia sort of … masculine. Although she does have long, blond hair, so it was [okay]!

And the boy [characters] are like girls in that they talk about all their emotions. But I don’t know if that was conscious on [the writers'] part.

TTO: I think your character was a very brave choice. I mean, you are a very beautiful woman, but they’re not dwelling on that, emphasizing that.

AT: But not only that, I know that I’m regularly described as being very cold and very detached. But I go, “I don’t care you think that, because if I was a guy, you just wouldn’t say that.” Men can be solitary, be on their own, or just not speak.

TTO: Right!

AT: I think it’d be great for her to get a lover in every port!

TTO: Any relationship so far this season?

AT: Not so far, but I’m hoping!

TTO: Obviously, a lot of people have made a lot of comparisons between Fringe and The X-Files. How often does that come up while you’re making the show? Do the writers ever deliberately not do things, do you ever not play things a certain way, because you’re worried you’ll be accused of ripping of The X-Files?

AT: I just kinda do my own thing. But I wasn’t the X-Files fan that, say, Joshua Jackson was, so it doesn’t really enter into my head — outside of it’s extraordinarily complimentary to compare it to Fringe.

Although I do think they’re two very different shows. I think the Peter and Olivia characters aren’t the Mulder and Scully characters.

I know that the creators and the guys in the writers room are wanting very much to have Peter, Walter, and Olivia become a family. But what I’m not sold on, and what I would be interested in, is to watch Olivia become sort of a maternal figure to these two kind of “lost boys.” I think it’s a much more interesting way to go than Walter being the funny dad and Peter and Olivia getting together.

TTO: I could not agree with you more. So that’s not going to happen? Olivia and Peter aren’t going to get together?

AT: [laughs] I don’t know. It isn’t my decision. They give us the scripts three days before we shoot, so I have no information, except for episode five that we’re shooting on Tuesday!

No, as far as that relationship, that trio, goes, that’s what I would like.

TTO: Is it hard to keep track of the mythology of the show? Did they explain it all to you when you signed on?

AT: I didn’t really know what any of the mythology was going to be, outside of what was apparent from the pilot. The mythology, I think, is kind of easy to keep track of, because it doesn’t come up that much — sort of one [episode] on, one off, one on, one off.

But what I find hard to keep track of are the monsters of the week. That’s when I’m, like, “Oh, my God!” I’ll be doing a scene with a million different names, and I can’t remember if they’re a blood-sucking monster [or something completely different]. Half the time you say the names, but you never see the creature. You’ve got no visual.

TTO: What monster do you personally think is the scariest so far?

AT: The scariest for me was very very early on. There was a conversation in the lab where Walter started talking about the fact that he and William Bell used to make soldiers kind of like tomatoes. And I thought, “Oh, that’s scary, and that’s going to cause a lot of conflict, because that’s a real ethical and moral conversation.”

But the gore, I just don’t like it!

TTO: The one that gave me nightmares is when the orifices, the nose and the mouth filled up. That was such a horrible way to die.

AT: Well, I get desensitized because that darling guy that was playing that character was on set for ages, and we had to lead him all the way up the stairs, into the room where we were about to shoot.

I’m sure there’s a lot of things that I’ve forgotten, because I’m there all the time.

TTO: You’re Australian. Are there any difficulties in playing an American character that maybe we wouldn’t think about?

AT: Oh, yeah. The sensibility is so different. Sometimes I look at a line that really sticks, and I really don’t know how to deliver it. It might be right for the character, but it’s an American way that I don’t know.

TTO: Do you ask someone? I mean, it could just be a bad line!

AT: [laughs] It could be! But sometimes it’s the sensibility. I find it difficult to stand and say, “Aaarrh! You’ve got nothing on me, dude!”

TTO: Well, you’re nothing like you’re character, which means you’re a wonderful actress.

AT: Thank you!

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When it rains, it pours.

This doesn’t have anything to do with anything, since it’s definitely not raining fantasy programming on television this fall

Still, when you throw in sci-fi programming (which we figure our readers might also be interested in), there is a smattering of interesting shows.

And on Thursday nights, we do have something approaching a downpour, with four — Flash Forward, The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, and Fringe — fantasy/sci fi shows (often at the same time, running against each other, naturally).

Let’s take a look at each in turn — and also get the take of TheTorchOnline’s resident, all-knowing Oracle on each show:

The Vampire Diaries (The CW)

What It’s About: Teen vampires, from Kevin Williamson, the creator of Dawson’s Creek and the Scream movie franchise.

When It’s On: The show premieres Thursday, September 10th at 8 PM (The CW).

The Oracle Speaks: Yes, it’s a Twilight rip-off (although the network and the producers claim it isn’t, since the series is based on a series of YA novels from the 1990s). But the Oracle has seen the pilot, and it’s better than you think. “The premise is the same, you know, girl meets vampire,” Williamson says of the similarities to Twilight. “When I read the first book [in the series], I was like, ‘No way, this is Twilight.’ But with second book, you start to realize, ‘Boy, this is a fork in the road.’ It really does separate. So we’re getting to that fork in the road really quick.”

Supernatural (The CW)

What It’s About: Brothers who probe the supernatural.

When It’s On: The fifth season bows on Thursday, September 10th at 9 PM (The CW).

The Oracle Speaks: The show’s last season was its best ever, ending with a cliffhanger where Sam mistakenly releases Lucifer from hell. Incidentally, earlier this year, creator Eric Kripke was making noises about making this the last season, but all indications are that Kripke and company will return for a sixth season.

A recap of the last season:

Robin Hood (BBC America)

What It’s About: Duh.

When It’s On: The show returns for its third season on Saturday, September 12th at 9 PM (BBC America).

The Oracle Speaks: Is Marion really dead? Sadly, yes, and it’s up to Brother Tuck, making his first appearance on the show, to convince Robin that England is still worth fighting for.

Fringe (Fox)

What It’s About: J.J. Abrams’ series about two paranormal investigators picks up from last spring’s cliffhanger, where Olivia confronted the fact that there really are parallel universes — and guest star Leonard Nimoy lives in one of them.

When It’s On: The show returns for its second season on Thursday, September 17 at 9 PM (Fox).

The Oracle Speaks: The Oracle was a big fan of this show, especially the second half of last season and the terrific season finale. Leonard Nimoy already appears in at least one more episode, and the producers would love for him to come back for more. “We want him back as much as he wants to come back,” says executive producer Jeff Pinkner. Meanwhile, star Anna Torv tells TheTorchOnline.com, “I love that Olivia was a bit more masculine [than other shows]. This second season is shifting a bit, and the character of Peter is becoming a lot more proactive.”

Heroes (NBC)

What It’s About: Ordinary humans develop superhero-like abilities.

When It’s On: The show returns for its fourth season on September 21st at 8 PM (NBC).

The Oracle Speaks: After a disastrous second season, the producers furiously tried to get their groove back last year (with some success). Still, first season writer Bryan Fuller (Pushing Daisies), brought in to revitalize the series last year, has now left to pursue other projects. Additions to this year’s cast include Robert Knepper (Prison Break’s T-Bag) as an “earth-mover” and Ray Park (Star Wars‘ Darth Maul Toad, G.I. Joe’s Snake Eyes) as a super-fast henchman with a knack for knife-throwing.

Here’s the season preview:

Smallville (The CW)

What It’s About: Superman “before he was famous.” But does anyone still watch this show?

When It’s On: The show returns for its ninth season on Friday, September 25th at 8 PM (The CW).

The Oracle Speaks: No, seriously. Does anyone still watch this show?

Eastwick (ABC)

What It’s About: A TV adaptation of the 1987 movie (and the John Updike novel), The Witches of Eastwick.

When It’s On: The show premieres Wednesday, September 23rd at 10 PM.

The Oracle Speaks: Frankly, the Oracle is confused as to exactly what genre this project is. Some sort of supernatural chick lit? As in the movie, three beautiful women are brought together by the arrival in town of the mysterious Daryl Van Horne, who brings out in each of them witch-like powers. But there’s a catch. “You know, there are many different kinds of devils,” says Paul Gross, who plays Van Horne. X-Men nemesis Mystique, Rebecca Romijn, plays one of the witches.

Flash Forward (ABC)

What It’s About: The entire world loses consciousness at the same time for just over two minutes, during which they all have a vision of their lives six months in the future.

When It’s On: The series, which is based on a novel by Robert Sawyer, premieres on Thursday, September 24th at 8 PM (ABC).

The Oracle Speaks: With its ensemble cast and an over-arching central mystery, everyone is comparing the show to Lost — something the producers aren’t exactly shying away from either. But pilot is quite good, setting up the all-important question for the season — namely, can the future be changed? Best of all, the producers promise no convoluted Lost-like non-answers. “By the end of the first season, most of the questions raised in the pilot will be answered,” says creator David S. Goyer.

A video preview:

The Ghost Whisperer (CBS)

What It’s About: A woman who isn’t Haley Joel Osment, but who still sees dead people.

When It’s On: The returns for its fifth season on Friday, September 25th at 8 PM (CBS).

The Oracle Speaks: The Oracle has tried several times to watch this show, but unlike Jennifer Love Hewitt’s character on this show and dead people, it just doesn’t speak to him.

Medium (CBS)

What It’s About: A woman who has bad, but uncannily accurate dreams.

When It’s On: The show returns for a sixth season on Friday, September 25th at 9 PM (CBS).

The Oracle Speaks: This “comfort food” show has never been particularly cutting edge, but the Halloween episode definitely sounds intriguing: the producers are inserting star Patricia Arquette into footage of the original Night of the Living Dead movie, to create sort of a landscape of her dreams. “I love a good monster movie,” Arquette says. “Here I am in a monster show. I’m the monster, but it’s exciting.”

Dollhouse (Fox)

What It’s About: Joss Whedon’s latest, about programmable humans-for-order.

When It’s On: The show returns, improbably, for its second season on Friday, September 25th at 9 PM (Fox).

The Oracle Speaks: The Oracle was phenomenally disappointed with this show when it debuted last spring: the plots were shockingly simplistic, and Eliza Dushku simply didn’t have the acting chops to portray a different “character” every week. The show got marginally better in the second half of the season — but only marginally. Still, Joss Whedon honestly believes in the show, and has been hinting lately that some of its suckiness may have come from network interference. So perhaps its worth another look.

V (ABC)

What It’s About: Aliens comes to earth — but are they friendly, as they claim, or do they have more nefarious ends? A remake of the 80s mini-series and series.

When It’s On: The show premieres on Tuesday, November 3rd at 8 PM (ABC).

The Oracle Speaks: The pilot is flat-out terrific: both surprisingly faithful to the 1980s original, but also seeming very contemporary. “There was a huge awareness of the original,” says creator Scott Peters. “There are a lot of people who haven’t seen it, but by the time we get to air, we feel like [the alien's true intentions are] not the big surprise that everyone is going to gasp over. We really want to tell that story that is sort of already known out there so that we can leap forward in very quick manner. … Hopefully, we do it in an artful way and in a twist-filled way that will make folks who haven’t seen the show before jump a little bit.”

Alice (The SyFy Channel)

What It’s About: From the folks who brought you Tin Man, the 2007 retelling of the Oz stories, comes this like-minded mini-series retelling of the Alice in Wonderland story.

When It’s On: December (The SyFy Channel).

The Oracle Speaks: Naturally, the producers say this is nothing like any of the other adaptations of Wonderland you’ve seen — that it’s “racier, tougher, and sexier” — and it’s also nothing like the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp feature film, now in production. “I’ve always wanted to play the Queen of Hearts,” says co-star Kathy Bates. “I’ve always been a fan of the original books. [But] in the original version she’s screaming, ‘Off with her head’ all the time at everybody. And this queen has multi-layers — she has the same evil streak that the queen has in the original version, but for different reasons.”

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