If one chooses to believe the following notion, there are certain scenarios that have yet to be perfected in film.  Specifically, in the fantasy realm.  Now there has been admirable attempts at the below forthcoming points.  But it’s not quite there yet.

So without further delay — and worthless banter — here’s a look at six fantasy ideas that we desperately still need to see in film.

1.  A Fantasy Epic Where Evil Wins (Muhahaha)

What if Frodo kept the ring?  How cool would it be if Hades won?  Although I consider myself a film historian (on training wheels), it is tough to recall when something this monumental has taken place.  It probably has somewhere in random underground fantasy flicks throughout history.  Yet the recent mainstream products keeps their distance from this idea.

What scribes are blatantly missing in their storytelling is that just because it is a happy ending, that does not necessarily mean it is a good one.  Even though this will hurt my cool factor (although I’m writing for a fantasy site), this idea entered my gem-of-a-brain after completing a Star Wars videogame (losing female Facebook friends as we speak).  Specifically, Knights of the Old Republic.

After playing it through and being a good little Jedi, I took in the cinematic ending for my accomplishments. Then I went back and played through again — basking in pure evil.

Upon completion, the “dark side” movie and storyline was extremely better than the typical good guy celebration.  Why?  Because the writers embraced the evil themes instead of dabbling in it.  Being able to say, “WOW” is just as satisfying as leaving with a smile on your face after the good guys win.

Of course we ultimately cheer for protagonists such as Frodo.  Yet part of me kind of wanted to see Sauron appear and wipe out the noble heroes.  Curiosity and change is the spice of life and exploring a new side of drama couldn’t hurt.  So having said that — in an epic arena — how would that creative concept come off?  I believe there is a way to do this without disappointing the audience.  Have the good guys go down using the old western “blaze-of-glory” concept.

Although the odds are stacked against them, by depicting an “all-in” battle, where good does some damage — yet eventually loses — could be crafted to drive home the above mentioned “WOW” response from the viewer.  Because in the end, a filmmaker truly just wants to get a reaction from his viewers — and something this unexpected would definitely provoke.

Admittedly, the physical storytelling would have to be impeccable for this idea to work.  Plus, the filmmaker must resist all urges to avoid showing a silver-lining after the evil victory.  No coddling allowed, my friends.

2.  Satan vs. God

Now this has been attempted in subtle ways, but no one can seem to truly bring this up to a level it needs to be (South Park doesn‘t count).  People are fascinated with the end of the world and if there is an anti-Christ walking among us.  Problem is, there has never been a full-scale epic that tackles every angle of the biblical apocalypse.  End of Days made a feeble attempt with this theme.  It brought in the devil but couldn’t muster up a worthy opponent (sorry, Governor Arnie) or atmosphere.

What I truly want to see is a creative writing scenario that encompasses an audacious battle between two actual immortals.  I’m tired of seeing a mismatch where a human’s morals somehow always end up saving the world.  Complete horse-crap.  Let’s get to the part of the book where the anti-Christ is unleashed and a great battle happens on earth.

No more demons possessing people to do their fighting.  Create a workable demon character — with minimal human likenesses — and form an army to take on angels.  Now the image of an angel is fairly well known.  So dump the logic and take liberties with the character.  Make angels twelve feet tall.  Then usher in the leads — God and Satan — in their true form.  We all think we know what Satan looks like, so surprise the hell out of us.

As for God, unless you can create a tricked-out version of Keith Richards or Ozzy (who are convinced they’re immortal and God-like), drop the old-man with the beard stigma and go for the outrageous.  God is subjective, so even if the great being is in the form of an unusual creature, who’s to argue?

Now, the trick is to have them fight all over the world and stop working in ridiculous subplots.  Sure, we need a mankind perspective, but  maintain the focus on the two stars.  Spend at least $100 million on this sucker and do it right.  The definitive apocalypse flick that brings the meat instead of dancing around the idea and teasing us.  Have you noticed that all of the flicks that have tried to depict this subject matter are low-budget and go direct-to-DVD?  Time for a change.  Prophecy had its storytelling moments, but way too subtle in its approach.

Yes this sounds like a Clash of the Titans rip-off, but the one element that sets this idea apart is the actual characters being depicted (God and Satan).  Sometimes less is more, but this is film, dammit! Sometimes more is more too.

3.  Adapt the Fable Videogame

All one hears on comment boards is who will create a fantasy flick as memorable and sophisticated as The Lord of the Rings.  This past decade, so many second-tier fantasy novels have half-assed their way onto the big screen.  Judging by the endings of all them (The Seeker, Eragon, etc.), they were hoping to continue.  Not so much my friends.  The respective studios chopped up the story and refused to spend the money.  Yet strangely, they have no problem blowing a $100 million on another lackluster rom-com that fails to arouse any profits at the box office.

The Fable story is rich and already has legions of fans.  Scoop it up, drop a ton of money on it, and the people will come.  It’s not that complicated.

4.  Create the Next LightSaber

As in, who will create the next iconic weapon that all of us will dream about having?  Even at 31, I still wake up swinging my blue blade (or is it blue balls from my imaginary  lady friend?). Moving along, Harry Potter’s wand does zilch for me.  Susan’s Narnia bow is stale and overused.  He-Man’s sword in the ’80s cartoon was interesting, but in the end, it’s just a sword.  All the wizard’s staffs look fun if I was confined to just walking around New York City.  Seriously, imagine the fun you could have with that “walking stick.”

There was a time I began thinking the X-Men flicks would come up with some innovative device.  Although they are mainly armed with super powers, I was banking on Hollywood not sticking to the source material and inserting their arrogance within the product.  What better place than the weapon department right?  Instead, it is all super powers.  And even if I wanted a super power, it would have been Superman’s X-ray vision.  Yet that is now worthless to me.  Why?  A plane ticket to Amsterdam isn’t all that expensive and there are plenty of windows.  If you know what I mean. (For the younger audiences, Google Amsterdam Windows.  You’ll thank me later).

Where was I?  Oh yeah…Weapons.  Clearly I could not come up with anything myself.  Any thoughts, or did I miss a great weapon since the lightsaber?  Didn’t the Blade franchise have some cool gadgets?  I shall go watch those again.  And I will be doing a noble deed in doing so.  Heard Wesley Snipes is having some cash flow issues.

5.  A Dragon Movie…That Isn’t Pathetic.

Not sure if this is possible actually, for the character may not be workable in a feature script.  Definitely could see recurring patterns where the flick drags due the dragon is not being captured on camera.  Two flicks come to mind that were tolerable at the very least though.  1981’s Dragonslayer and 2002’s Reign of Fire.  Intriguing stories and the CGI work for their respective times was admirable.  Aside from those two, the only flick that looked pristine was How to Train Your Dragon.  An animated film.  That was a nice movie, but I’m looking for something gritty and dangerous.

Believe it or not, Dragonslayer was a Walt Disney Picture that brought in an element of danger.  In contrast, Reign of Fire was supposed to be dramatic and dangerous.  As it went on, though, it became a platform for the CGI nerds to have fun with the technology.  And the lead characters’ acting ability transitioned into something out of a bad porno (if there is such a thing).

Seeing complete trash such as D-Wars and whatever childish flick Sean Connery voiced the dragon (too lazy to look it up and still trying to repress the memories) is making my ass itch (it‘s just what happens).  I believe the dragon character could find a proper vehicle in cinema with someone who had the right vision and respect for the material.  Paging Guillermo del Toro…

6.  Torch’s Choice ________

Authors must be honest with their readers and vice versa.  And trust me, my readers have been very honest and graphically descriptive over the years, in my archive of comment boards.  Especially when I give Twilight just 3 out of 5 stars (my apologies milfs, but feel free to grow-up anytime now).

Coming up with other moments that need to be seen in an epic fantasy flick should  be relatively easy.  However, picking a final topic has become quite the task for yours truly.  I was thinking about giants.  Then I jumped to how a filmmaker needs to shoot an epic battle scene in Iceland.  The landscape just feels magical.  Looks a lot like Middle-Earth too.  Also started thinking about what not to do.  I have an extremely hard time grasping that escapism feeling when magical forces are on display in a present day big city such as New York or Chicago.  Just doesn’t have that same old feeling when executed in a period piece.  Felt that on the last Harry Potter flick (Deathly Hallows) and the recent Sorcerer’s Apprentice debacle.  Modern landscape fails to provide the appropriate atmosphere in pleasing us dreamers.

Anyway, rather than force the issue, let’s yap, Torch followers.  If that doesn’t sound enticing, feel free to rip on me below. Suggestions for blind dates are also appreciated — cause once the legion of females see my name on the byline for this article, I’m going to need all the help I can get.

Four Torches (Out of Five)

The long-awaited third game in the Fable series has been released today for the Xbox 360, and except for one major design flaw, it’s a winner.

Fable 3 picks up a generation after the events of Fable 2. You are the Fable 2 hero’s son or daughter, trying to stop your tyrannical brother King Logan from working and taxing the citizens of Albion to death. To take on the King, you must gather followers across the land, and to do that, you must undertake missions that range from fighting Hobbes and Hollow Men, to searching for rare books, to helping a woman divorce her husband.

Overthrowing your brother, however, is only half of the main quest — the other and arguably more interesting half takes place after you become Albion’s new King or Queen and set out to undo the damage your brother has caused.

The Fable games are known for their open-world setting and the intermingling of combat missions with treasure-seeking and social ones, and this game only improves on this.

Lionhead has clearly invested time and money into building out all three, but especially the combat and social elements of the game. Not only do the weapons change based on how you use them, but your attack style morphs over time, as well, culminating in some truly entertaining slow-mo flourishes. Additional customization options include re-naming your weapons and your dog, dying your clothes and hair, and redecorating your home. Here’s a screencap of my character wearing a customized outfit and harlequin makeup:

As I wrote about previously, the characters are much better looking in Fable 3, and the user interface and gameplay has been improved — simplified in many ways, but expanded in others. The humor has been toned down, but it’s still there (the banter in the side-quest The Game is particularly entertaining).

The multiplayer feature of the game — which allows you to visit the kingdoms of friends (or strangers) and complete quests together, enter into business partnerships, trade weapons, and even get married and have children  —  has been signficantly improved from Fable 2. Perhaps the biggest change is that you’re no longer tethered together on the screen — when you play together over Xbox Live, each player moves and sees the world independently. This makes for a much better experience.

They’ve also enhanced relationship options with other characters — NPC villagers, or real people via multiplayer. Now your character can actually touch other characters (although all the hand-holding gets old after awhile, because it forces you to walk so slow), go on dates, and get married to other players via co-op. And the introduction of an orphanage (although not until late in the game) means same-sex couples or players who prefer to stay single can now have children.

In a nutshell, Fable 3 includes all that you loved about Fable 2, excludes many of the things you didn’t, and offers a better gameplay experience. The end result is a really fun way to spend many, many hours.

So why am I only giving it four torches (out of five)? There are several minor but annoying bugs that crop up occasionally (golden bread crumbs disappear, characters get stuck, etc.) but primarily because of one major design flaw. It’s difficult to explain without being too spoilery, so I’ll try to keep it high-level.

(spoiler warning)

Your experience of the game very much depends on how much money you earn early on, but you’re not made aware of this until late in the quest — by which time,  it’s too late to do much about it.

The game designers appear to have done this on purpose, in order to force players to make the difficult trade-offs often required of rulers. But the choice isn’t between being hated and rich, or loved and poor; it’s between being hated and continuing to play the game, or loved and not being able to continue playing the game (OK, technically, you can, but many side-quests are no longer available, and it’s not much fun, anyway, because your kingdom is a ghost town). Which means you have no real choice at all if you want to continue playing after completing the main quest, unless you happened to have amassed a huge amount of money early on — which many players are unlikely to have done.

To be fair, your character is warned in the last half of the quest that there would be dire consequences if more money wasn’t earned, but again, the warning comes (mostly) too late.

This might not seem like such a big deal, but if you zip through the main quest (as the narrators constantly urge you to do), stopping for only a few sidequests along the way because you assume you can do more later, you’re in for a big disappointment. And there’s no way to undo your mistake without starting the entire game over.

Which is why I’m now on playthrough number two. I’m still having a lot of fun, I just wish I’d known to play it this way the first time.

Should this discourage you from playing Fable 3? Absolutely not. In almost every other respect, it’s a terrific game.

But if you want to play the game and actually have a real choice at the end, here’s my advice:

1. Make a lot of money early in the game, and invest it in real estate (homes and shops) as soon as possible
2. Do a lot of sidequests, and collect as many silver keys as you can
early in the game (some of the chests contain a lot of money)
3. See #1

Happy hunting!

The Magic of Gaming is a weekly column with news and mini-reviews of fantasy games.

Have you always wondered what you would get if you combined Clash of the Titans with Mel’s Diner? You’ll find out anyway in the new Facebook game Heaven’s Diner, a Diner Dash-type game in which you run a restaurant frequented by cherubs, angels and Greek Gods.

Yes, really. Because who hasn’t always wanted to serve crab legs to Zeus?

A much better use of your online casual gaming time is the fantasy tower defense game Cursed Treasure: Don’t Touch My Gems! on Kongregate.com, the large online game site owned by GameStop (you don’t have to register to play, just to track your games and achievements).

A deceptively simple game which includes orcs, demons, and the undead, Don’t Touch My Gems requires you to build and strategically place different types of towers on the map in order to protect your gems from being stolen by increasingly difficult waves of invaders. It’s surprisingly fun, and consistently ranks as one of the most popular games on the site.

If MMOs are more your thing, you can try Final Fantasy XIV Online — but I wouldn’t. The graphics are great, but almost everything else isn’t. There are just too many glitches and design flaws, which even Square Enix has tacitly acknowledged. Once those get fixed, FF XIV Online may be worth playing, but you might want to wait until then to take out your credit card for this one.

Another game that doesn’t quite live up to the hype is the just-released Arcania Gothic 4 (Xbox/PC/PS3). The graphics are good and, unlike in FF XIV, the gameplay runs pretty smoothly. There’s just nothing all that special about in Gothic 4 — it looks and feels like the kind of third-person fantasy RPG we’ve seen a million times before. About five years ago.

Watch this gameplay video to make up your mind (skip to the 7-minute mark to see the village):

Unless you’re a hardcore Gothic fan, I suggest you get your fantasy RPG fix with Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (Xbox/PS3) instead.

The world of Trine 2 looks beautiful in the new gameplay trailer!

The downloadable platformer is slated to be released sometime next year.

Last but not least, Lionhead has released a new trailer emphasizing the combat in Fable III (Oct. 26 Xbox):