Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains minor spoilers for the “Missio” episode of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena.

I’d gotten so accustomed to the insane, boundary-pushing shenanigans of the Spartacus series last year that I forgot there’s simply no other show on television like it. Period. Sure, shows have attempted to push the boundaries of violence and sex before, but have you ever seen things like decapitations, eviscerations, dismemberment, alongside open gay sex, public masturbation, and orgies handled so … well, nonchalantly?

Spartacus continues to be a show like no other, and I have no doubt that in the coming years we’ll see shows attempt to emulate it, but fall short, as mimics often do.

Anyway, onto this particular episode. While the first episode was understandably heavy on exposition — a season premiere requires a fair amount of world-building, after all — we’re back on track with an action-packed episode. After the sick beat-down Batiatus received last week, he was itching to get his revenge on his two assailants. After this episode, one is down with one to go.

An intriguing new character arrived this season: Gaia, an old friend (and a very close one at that) of Lucretia’s. In the first episode she seemed more like an older version of a naughty schoolgirl, but after the ingeniously crafted character of Ilithyia last season, I had my eye on her, and sure enough, she revealed herself to be  a web of ice-cold calculations under the beguiling smile and flighty facade.

The plot centers around a scheme by Batiatus to convince, through whatever means necessary, a wealthy patron named Varras to showcase Batiatus’ gladiators in his upcoming games, rather than his rivals’. Part of this scheme includes sending a gang of his new recruits — Ashur, the villainous scoundrel from Season 1 among them — to take out his rival, while Lucretia and Gaia are dispatched to seduce Varras into retreating from the sun to Batiatus’ villa. Lucretia, far from the willful femme fatale she becomes later on, is a bundle of nerves, while Gaia tells her to relax, and takes the lead.

Prequels are hard to pull off, because we know how the story ends, but one thing Spartacus is doing absolutely right is showing us virtually every character in a new way. Sure, we know what becomes of them, but this way, we enjoy the ride a whole lot more.

Once they succeed in luring Varras to the villa, the three of them work him over until he’s ready to choose one of Batiatus’ gladiators. The natural choice is Gannicus, the current champion, who impresses Varras with his defeat over Crixus, who will one day be the champion himself, of course.

And in a twist that only the writers of Spartacus would come up with, Batiatus then brings Gannicus to the chambers, clad only in a white tunic, and casually offers Varras an opportunity to have sex with him. Varras is certainly titillated, but drunk and under the influence of opium, would rather just watch Gannicus have sex with a nearby slave, who happens to be the wife of Gannicus’ friend.

Gaia, mind you, is interested in becoming Varras’ wife, social climber that she is, and yet she’s not put off in the slightest as Varras toys with having sex with a man, finally contenting himself to masturbate in everyone’s presence as Gannicus fornicates before his eyes.

To say this show is unique doesn’t even begin to do it justice. I’m pretty sure I never saw a scene like that in Two and a Half Men.

If there is a flaw in the series, it’s one of sad origin: without Andy Whitfield to anchor the show as a lead character, there’s a slightly meandering sense to the story, as though this is all subplot and we’ll eventually get to the A-story. Sure, Batiatus and Lucretia are delicious villains, but there’s a reason villains are seldom the protagonists, and while Gannicus is wonderfully cocky and full of hubris, the show doesn’t quite rest on his shoulders.

That having been said, I eagerly await the next installment.

Three Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Caged Heat” episode of Supernatural.

I know that, after five and a half seasons, it’s hard for any show not to feel like it’s occasional repeating itself. But that’s still no excuse for a show to feel like it’s repeating itself.

I confess there wasn’t much about “Caged Heat” that impressed me, mostly because it all seemed so “been there, done that.”

Here’s what seemed recycled to me:

• Lots of shout-y conversations about betrayal and sacrifice.  I sort of liked the impassioned plea sadder-but-wiser Dean gave to Samuel about not making deals with demons, but his case would’ve made more sense if he — or at least Sam — hadn’t been making deals with Crowley just a couple of episodes ago. That made it seem like angst for angst’s sake.
• Sam and Dean trapping demons with a hidden pattern on the floor or wall for the 1000th time (you’d think demons would learn to look up). They did this not just once this episode, but twice.
• The Castiel-is-an-innocent jokes — in this case, him watching a porn. This humor has been hilarious before, but they’re basically retelling the exact same joke.
• The sudden return of Crowley’s bones to save the day. This seemed like a total deus ex mechina (e.g. lazy writing).
• The fact that the whole episode was basically a dead end. This is what bummed me out about last season: so many episodes didn’t seem to play any role in the overall season arc. Every show can and should do this from time-to-time for the sake of realism, but when it happens too often, there’s a sense that the show is just killing time until they get to the story they really want to tell (it also makes me think they didn’t have enough plot for a whole season).

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m also discouraged by the obviously lower budgets this season. They’re clearly reusing sets (and just generally simpler ones), and doing almost no on-location shooting. And does the lower budget also explain the return of “invisible” hell-hounds?

What did I like about the episode?

• The continuing conflict about whether or not Sam gets his soul (even as I also think: “We get the point! Get on with it”), and I like the idea that returning the soul could, in fact, destroy Sam (but that Dean wants to do it anyway. Ouch!).
• Some of the humor: “I can’t believe you fell for that! That was the plot of Raiders.” “Best purchase I made since Dick Cheney.” Dean saying, “I’m standing in pee,” and Sam’s response, “Consider yourself lucky.”
• The tension between Sam and Castiel. This has always existed, of course, but now that Sam has no soul, it’s much stronger. I hope they go somewhere interesting with this.

Obviously, I was pretty disappointed with this ep. What did others think?

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Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Clap Your Hands if You Believe” episode of Supernatural.

I’m actually a little surprised it’s taken Supernatural this long to get to aliens (or has it? I confess I haven’t seen every single episode).

The problem with “alien” parodies is that — unlike, say, Twilight parodies — they’ve been done. A lot. We get it: people who believe in aliens are wackos.  But to the show’s credit, they acknowledged the cliches — Dean grimaced at almost everything he said, fully aware that it was a cliche.

But after a somewhat obvious opening, they went, to my great surprise, in a pretty interesting direction.

They tipped us off early on when Dean asks, “If aliens are real, what’s next? Hobbits? Seriously.”

Not hobbits exactly, but fairies.

Which is a very nice twist on the classic idea that aliens have been visiting Earth for centuries, but that they were previously thought of as fairies. Alien abductions, in other words, are actually old-fashioned fairy abductions.

I’m serious when I say this: someone gave this some real thought. It really is a new approach to aliens (and, in retrospect, we see it was all cleverly tipped off in the ep’s title, which is, of course, a nod to Peter Pan).

In other news, I’ve said before that I’m really liking the whole “soul-less Sam” thing. It’s a really nice, fresh way to shake up the Sam-Dean dynamic. Previously, of course, it was Dean who was the skirt-chasing, easily distracted one. Basically, Sam, formerly so earnest and responsible, has become the Dean of 2007, and Dean has to deal with it. They’ve switched roles.

Also, after five seasons of Dean getting all the good, funny quips, Sam is finally now getting some too:

“You better run, man. I think the ‘fourth kind’ is a butt thing.”

“It’s like Sedona, Arizona, crapped in here.”

Also, a very nice hint at the end that Sam, after realizing that having a soul just means pain, may not want to get his soul back.

Oh, and I smiled at the funny social commentary about how Dean’s anti-”fairy” attitudes led to the assumption that he’s actually anti-gay and anti-little people.

On the “bad news” front, has anyone else noticed that the show seems to have had a major budget cut? Special effects are limited at best — the small “elves” effect looked very low-rent, and the sets are almost ridiculously simple now. The outside locations, meanwhile, look like studio back-lots — not much on-location shooting anymore.

This doesn’t matter that much — the most important thing is the writing, and that seems pretty good so far this season. But it does give the show something of a claustrophobic feel, and it’s getting pretty distracting to me after five years of near-cinema level quality on this show.

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Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Family Matters” episode of Supernatural.

Last week, I gave this show much credit for giving us some answers, for not drawing the “Who is Sam?” storyline out forever.

This week, they kept it up! Sam’s soul is gone, we learn in the first two minutes (which is a good thing, because it was REALLY annoying that that important piece of information was revealed in last week’s teaser of this week’s episode!).

So Sam’s soul is missing — still back in Lucifer’s cage in hell. This is both unexpected (for those who didn’t see that damn trailer!), but it also makes perfect sense in retrospect.

So is it still Sam? “You pose an interesting question,” Castiel notes matter-of-factly.

So Sam and Dean go on a quest to find out who drew Sam out of hell (and who might know how to get Sam’s soul back). This, of course, brings us back to the Campbells, which have so far been an oddly undeveloped addition to this season’s cast. (I appreciate that the foreshadowing about their true intentions has been pretty back-and-forth — possibly good or bad — up until now.)

Another revelation in the episode? Crowley, the newfound king of Hell, is the hand inside Samual’s “Kermit puppet” — and he was also behind both Sam and Samuel getting out of Hell and Heaven, respectively. This one is a little more obvious, but I still like how it’s all fitting together.

Speaking of which, Dean to Samuel on Crowley’s puppet-mastery. “What’d he offer you? Girls. Money? Hair?” Hilarious.

The point is, they’re really, really not drawing things out! And I couldn’t be happier.

I said in an earlier review that I was a little annoyed that the show was introducing a “king vampire” and vampire army (been there, done that). But I’m cool with how they did it here, as merely a sort of backdrop to a greater story, and with Dean outside the quest looking in. If you have to do a “king of the vampires” storyline, doing it from a “behind-the-scenes” perspective is a very interesting way to go.

Incidentally, who was shutting Dean out? Yup, it was Sam.

I’ve also said before that I think the show works best when the two brothers are in (some kind of) conflict. On the other hand, their conflict-to-end-all-conflicts, Sam ultimate betrayal in season four, was resolved in season five. How do you top that — or not make it feel redundant?

Having Sam’s soul be gone is a great way to bring the conflict back. It’s not a question of Sam being “weak” or someone being to “blame” (as in season four), and it doesn’t ignore the long-fought resolution between the two brothers (in season five).

Oh, and I appreciated Dean’s response to the vampire’s cryptic answers: “What does that mean?” How many times have you wanted someone to say that to a Big Bad?!

Two more things. I suppose the introduction of purgatory to the Supernatural universe was inevitable, but it’s still clever that it’s a collecting ground for the world’s soul-less freaks. Not what I was taught in Catholic grade school!

And I’m really, really glad to see Dean’s visions in earlier episodes are already coming true. Once again, they’re not drawing things out, and I couldn’t be happier.

Most importantly, I’m totally getting the sense that they have a “plan” for the season, that they’re not just pulling things out of their ass. For the first time this year, I feel like I can relax.

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Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Days Gone Bye” episode of The Walking Dead.

When was the last time there was a post-apocalyptic TV series? Has there ever been a post-apocalyptic TV series? Because I honestly can’t think of any. TV is a mass market medium — the original mass market medium — and definitely not one to dwell on the dark side.

I think it speaks pretty accurately to how hopeless and depressed people feel these days that we’re finally seeing such a series right now.

And they didn’t pull any punches, did they? When was the last time you saw a child killed on TV — by the good guy no less? Sure, it was a zombie-child, but seeing the actual killing — in the first five minutes — speaks to the daring tone of this show.

Zombies may have been done to death in the movies and in fiction, but this show truly looked and felt like something different.

One reason why is surely because it’s the work of film director Frank Darabont, who created the series and wrote and directed this pilot.

Clearly, Darabont had the clout to be able to do whatever the hell he wanted. (And I’m sure it helped that cable channels like AMC actually encourage quality programming, as opposed to dumbing everything down for the widest possible audience.)

I loved that the episode got right to the point, both before and after the opening tease, even as it also varied the tone — something that made the moments of incredible intensity and suspense seem even that much more heart-wrenching.

The economy of the storytelling was extraordinary. They didn’t bother telling us things we already know and haven’t already seen in other zombie projects. And when it came to communicating important info, they couldn’t have done it any better than that scene with the half-corpse crawling along the grass: it told us everything we needed to know about the new world Rick was now in and, later when he goes back to put it out of its misery, everything we need to know about Rick.

Meanwhile, the episode had many other moments of incredible creepiness:

• Rick waking up, confused and disoriented, into a world of “walking dead.” It was similar to the opening of 28 Days Later, but felt completely different too.
• The young boy seeing the return of his mother the zombie outside the house.
• The inevitable “crowd” of zombies in Atlanta and their attack. (His escape from the attack up into the tank was pretty cool too.)
• The closing scene of the horse being devoured — to music, no less!

My few quibbles:

• Rick has nice period of confusion, but then he seemed to adapt to the reality of a zombie apocalypse pretty quickly — too quickly. I’m all for moving the story forward, but I just didn’t buy this.
• It was a great and classic set-up for the entire show when Rick finds evidence that his family left in a hurry (and, therefore, may still be alive), but I thought they squandered that by telling us too quickly that they were, in fact, alive.

Truthfully, I’ve long since had my fill of zombies, and I wasn’t particularly looking forward to this show. But Darabont is clearly a storytelling master, and he has created something here that feels genuinely different from anything else I’ve seen on TV.

I’ll definitely be watching.

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Four and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “You Can’t Handle the Truth” episode of Supernatural.

I’ll fess up and say that I’ve always considered Jared Padalecki to be the weaker of the two lead actors on Supernatural.

I’m not so sure anymore. I’m starting to think maybe it was more than Jensen Ackles always had the more interesting part: quippy bad boy beats moody homebody any day.

But Padalecki is doing a terrific job being Not Quite Sam so far this season. I especially like that his phone message has changed (much more curt). Nice touch.

(It’s also interesting that Sam and Castiel have “changed.” That’s clearly a theme of the season.)

What about the episode itself? Why am I rating it so highly when it was pretty clearly a by-the-numbers monster-of-the-week episode — one with a pretty rote ending at that?

A couple of reasons. First, I’m thrilled they’re not drawing out the mystery of Sam’s identity: they’re dealing with it. (At the same time, they’re not quite answering the question either, which is cool. Just so long as it doesn’t feel like they’re teasing us — that there’s some forward momentum.)

A goddess that compels people to tell the truth? Okay, sure, that might be a little  too perfectly suited to the situation with Sam and Dean. On the other hand, I like that shows like Supernatural can be a little larger-than-life, using “monsters” and magic to dramatize situations we all can relate to. This reminded me of a Buffy episode in that regard.

I also think they did a pretty nice job with the “can’t lie” set-up. It was an extremely nice (and unexpected) moment when Lisa is compelled to tell the truth. Boy, does she tell the truth! Dean and Sam absolutely are destined to make each other unhappy. (What made the scene work was that sense that Lisa had had it, that she was going to be telling Dean this “truth” regardless of whether she was under a spell.)

It was also nice that Dean tells the truth to Lisa, even if he’s not compelled.

Even better, of course, is that Dean, knowing that he can compel the truth out of others, directly asks Sam what’s going on with him. And it’s great that Sam is able to resist the curse and still lie, even as he says, indignantly, “I can’t lie to you!”

This is a turn of events that ends of shocking the hell out of the Goddess of Truth. Which causes the audience to ask: what the hell is Sam anyway?

Later, Sam says he’ll give the real truth: that he’s lost all “feeling” since returning from Hell. But is he really telling the truth? He’s told so many lies since the start of the season — even when directly confronted — that it’s impossible to say.

I liked that a lot. Answer one question, but with an answer that just leaves us with many more questions. This is exactly what they should be doing at episode six of a 22-episode season.

A couple of other things I liked:

• The “dentist” scene was pretty extreme: a combination of the creepiness of the pedophile and the protective dentist father going at it with the drill.
• And I loved that Bobby’s “truth” is that he loves Tori Spelling! I also liked hearing that obvious: that Dean is his “favorite.”

They could easily still screw up this Not Quite Sam sub-plot. But between this episode and Padalecki’s performance, I’m definitely hanging in there so far.

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(Three and a Half Torches out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Live Free or Twi-Hard” episode of Supernatural.

Leave it to  Supernatural to give Twilight, and vampire fanaticism, the good, old-fashion slamming that they so definitely deserve!

“We can’t be together!” says the cute male vampire.

“There has to be a way!” says the clueless teen.

“No! You think you know me, but you don’t. I’ve done bad things. You should run. Now.”

“I can make my own decisions. I’m 17!”

As for what happens next, talk about Bella getting exactly what she deserved!

I know this isn’t a “comedy” show, but screw The Big Bang Theory: I think this is the most consistently funny show on television.

“These aren’t vampires,” Dean says at one point. “These are douche-bags.”

Never were truer words spoken.

Other hilarious one-liners:

“Are you kidding?” Dean says of Taylor Lautner. “That kid’s everywhere. It’s a frickin’ nightmare.”

And: “You’ve got Efron, I’ve got Bieber.”

And also: “Are you wearing glitter?”

“I only do it to get laid!” says the fake-vampire.

“Does it work?”

So what did I like about the episode, other than the over-all vampire bashing and the other humor?

I liked the fact that Sam let Dean get turned. Sam also apparently knew about the cure, but wasn’t going tell him that either.

Something really weird has happened to Sam, and it’s made him really, really creepy. Good job, Supernatural -- and Jared Padalecki, who is playing it perfectly.

I also liked some of the impressionist “vampire memory” imagery. This show has always looked liked a feature film — remarkable cinematography for a weekly show. Seriously: compare it to The Vampire Diaries in this regard.

So what didn’t I like?

It’s true, I didn’t expect Dean to turn into a vampire — and it makes sense why they would want him in their ranks, given that the vampire plan is to use cute boys to attract clueless teenage girls.

But while the whole real-vampires-attracting-clueless-girls gimmick is funny (if a little obvious), it was clear from the start what was happening, so a lot of the episode was just re-discovering what we already knew.

I also think having Dean being turned was done too quickly and led to too many contrivances: the relative ease of the turning; the fact that there just happened to be a cure; the head vampire collapsing just as he was about to kill Dean.

If they were really going to turn Dean into a vampire, it deserved a better, richer, less-rushed treatment than this.

And speaking of which: I’m really not crazy about the show embarking on a “vampire army” story arc. Was the whole episode not about how over-done vampires are? Ditto for vampire armies.

They had a good set-up here, and I appreciated the satire and the jokes. But apart from the creepiness involving Sam, the story itself was surprisingly flat.

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Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Weekend at Bobby’s” episode of Supernatural.

It’s a clever bit, seeing the world of Supernatural from the point-of-view of Bobby, Sam and Dean’s ever-dependable “support staff.”

It’s a little like an episode of Fringe, told from the point-of-view of Astrid.

And of course it was an excellent choice for an episode to be directed by none other than series star, Jensen Ackles, because the script calls for only minimal Sam and Dean.

Plus, it was finally nice to learn the outcome of Bobby’s deal with Crowley. And — hey! — Crowley’s moving up in the world, no? That’s a little convenient, that Bobby and Sam and Dean happen to be on so well with the new ruler of hell, but it’s certainly consistent with the character.

The humor was spot-on (which makes me think that maybe Jensen Ackles has as good a sense of humor as his character!).

We’ve seen Bobby’s phone bank before, but we’ve never seen it from Bobby’s POV — and learned how exhausting it must all be.

The funniest joke was the one with the longest set-up: the neighbor who is trying to seduce Bobby — “Would you come over and take a look at my wood-chipper?” — is secretly being beset by a pointy-teethed demon (an “ocamia”?). Bobby eventually manages to fight it off by jamming it into the fully-functioning chipper.

“I thought your wood-chipper was broke,” he says to her.

Cut to the timid neighbor, completely drenched in ocamia blood: “I just said that to get you over here.”

Hilarious.

And we learn that it isn’t just Castiel who had a “special” relationship with Dean — so does Bobby. This is clearly going to be a reoccurring joke for the season.

It’s also nice to see Bobby finally tell Sam and Dean a brutal truth: “Sometimes you two are the whiniest, most selfish sons of bitches I’ve ever met!” Later, he adds, “I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit around and be damned. So how about if you two sack up and help me for once?”

True, the resolution of the Crowley-has-Bobby’s-soul storyline — the convenient discovery of the signet ring, the summoning of Crowley’s son — was a little by-the-numbers. (Although it had a nice little twist with Crowley’s son not being a bargaining chip, but the source of Crowley’s secrets.)

It wasn’t an episode for the ages, but I think we can all agree that Jensen did himself proud, can’t we?

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Four and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “The Third Man” episode of Supernatural.

I may have spoken too soon.

In my first two episode reviews of this current season, I expressed concern that Supernatural had lost its way — that it had blown one strong dramatic possibility, and much of the plotting and storytelling had seemed non-confident and confused.

With this third, pretty terrific episode, I’m a lot less worried than I was.

It started with one of the show’s patented genuinely unusual and incredibly creepy openings. Talk about cutting yourself shaving!

Then they employed their classic “misdirection” strategy — seemingly setting us up for a (boring?) monster-of-the-week episode with the Staff of Moses, but then deftly segueing into a really cool “season arc” storyline.

Angels are in civil war. This is as good a sequel to the apocalypse as any I’ve ever heard. The idea that all of heaven’s “magic items” — like the Staff of Moses — are loose is pretty cool too.

“Wait, you’re saying your nukes are loose?” Dean says, putting it in perfect Dean-speak.

And right away, the show also deals with the “is-that-really-Sam?” issue, which has seemed confused to me in previous episodes. Clearly, we were supposed to be confused. This isn’t Sam — or at least not the Sam we know and love. Yes, Sam is so hot that when he hires a prostitute, she might not want to be paid. But when would our Sam hire a prostitute?

There was another clue to Sam’s true identity when Castiel starts to torture someone, and Dean starts to stop him, but then Sam stops him.

On the other hand, Castiel recognizes Sam as Sam, so it’s clearly not just a question of someone or something impersonating him. Intriguing.

Speaking of which, Castiel is back! Better still, he’s finally bringing with him the show’s also-patented one-liners.

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond,” Castiel says, deadpan intact. He says of the missing Staff of Moses, just as deadpan and just as hilariously, “I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect.” And later, when an angel he has an actual “frog” in his throat, Castiel says, “Even I know that’s a bad joke.”

One thing I’ve always loved about Supernatural’s angels is how they’re so completely indifferent to humans and human interests — how they always have their own schemes and designs, some selfless (Castiel) and some selfish (Balthazar).

Basically, they’re truly inhuman.

That’s why whole idea of angels hawking stolen religious artifacts in exchange for souls is so interesting. Just how different from demons are angels anyway?

So — here’s my totally random guess based on the way he’s been acting — might “Sam” not be an angel now? It would be too repetitive to have him be succumbing to anything demon-related, right?

We’ll see if I’m right.

At the end of the episode, Dean confronts the elephant in the room — namely, that something isn’t quite right with Sam. I can’t tell you how happy I am that he and the show are openly acknowledging this, because I was starting to think (a) Dean was an idiot, and/or (b) the show had bad writers.

Basically, the show seems to be back on track — and I couldn’t be happier.

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(Three and a Half Torches out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Two and a Half Men” episode of Supernatural.

Regular readers of TheTorchOnline.com know that Fringe is doing an interesting “alternating” storyline for at least the first half of this season: “even” episodes are set in our world, “odd” episodes set in an alternate dimension.

I was intrigued when it seemed like Supernatural was doing something similar. Each episode would feature two different worlds: Dean’s and his attempt at a family life, and Sam’s continuing efforts to hunt the world’s nasties — a baby-snatching shape-shifter this week, for example.

This was just a flat-out terrific idea, made all the most interesting due to the fact that it was Sam who was always the more reluctant hunter anyway.

But unlike Fringe, Supernatural wasn’t going to alternate storylines, but rather make them interweave in each episode. This made sense to me since Sam and Dean’s destinies are obviously forever intertwined.

But I confess: I’m annoyed that they seem to have squandered this excellent dramatic possibility so quickly. This is a little ironic coming from me, who is always urging TV shows to get to the point, not to draw things out forever.

It just seems like the alternating-”dimensions” idea could’ve really shaken up a show badly in need of being shaken up.

No, instead the show has apparently already brought Sam and Dean back together.

They waited exactly one week.

Oh, sure, Dean is going to drop in on Lisa and her son from time-to-time, but it seems like they’ve too quickly drained it of any real dramatic possibility.

And what was the all-important reason Sam gave to play the “I’ll-only-call-you-when-I-really-need-you” card? Because he needed Dean’s help with a baby.

There was no one else he could’ve called, no book he could’ve consulted?

Okay, toward the end of the episode, even Dean agrees it was strange and openly accuses Sam of having something nefarious in mind.

This is definitely intriguing, but … it goes back to last week’s episode, how I was confused was to what was going on with Sam — was it Sam? — and wasn’t sure if that confusion was intentional on the part of the show, or just confused writing in general.

I’m becoming increasingly convinced that it’s the latter.

First, it seems much clearer this week that that really is Sam — and, more importantly, that Dean thinks it’s Sam, which was an open question last week. But there’s obviously something Sam’s not telling Dean. Again, that’s intriguing as far as it goes, but Sam lying to Dean again about something nefarious? Wasn’t the whole point of last season that Dean finally learned to trust Sam again after the terrible (but dramatically wonderful) choices Sam made in season four?

If that really is Sam, and if Sam is lying to Dean again, he better have a mind-blowingly good reason for doing so. If not, I’m going to feel like the entire last season, and its touching resolution where Sam redeems himself and Dean finally accepts Sam for who he is, was a complete waste of my time.

As I said last week, this is all very difficult to review (and is all subject to complete revision on my part), because I have no idea where they’re going with this. But I confess: unlike previous seasons, I don’t feel confident I’m in the hands of masters who know exactly what they’re doing.

It still feels … confused.

The show also seems to have a disturbing lack of Dean’s incredible one-liners. Yes, I know he’s in a bad place right now, but hey, he’s been in bad places before and has never lost his sense of humor.

All this said, the episode did have some good twists, like the reason why the shape-shifters were snatching babies (they’re the children of shape-shifters who impregnate unsuspecting women by impersonating their partners).

And, of course, it was touching that it took Lisa to tell Dean the obvious truth: he can’t live in two places at once. So the solution is to be with Lisa when he’s with Lisa, and to be with Sam when he’s with Sam.

I honestly hate to kind of dump on this show two weeks in a row — the reason why I write these reviews is because I think it’s one of the best shows on television.

But, well, I gotta write what I think, right?

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(Three and a Half Torches out of Five)

Warning: This review contains spoilers for the “Exile of Main Street” episode of Supernatural.

I admit I was skeptical when we learned last year that Supernatural was coming back for a sixth season. For years, I’d been hearing about creator Eric Kripke’s carefully constructed “five-year plan” for the series — and let’s face it, last season’s finale seemed pretty darn final.

While I desperately love this show — the most under-rated show on television, IMHO — I was worried that the “sixth” season was going to feel contrived and unnecessary.

Was I wrong? For at least for the first forty minutes, I thought so. The first half of the episode was the show firing on all cylinders: its trademark combination of humor, chills, surprising twists, psychological complexity, and excellent acting.

For these forty minutes, I was thinking this was as clever a TV “reboot” as I’ve ever seen.

But then things seemed to get muddled.

A year after Sam’s disappearance along with Lucifer into a cage in hell, Dean has moved on. But if we know anything about the Winchester brothers, it’s that they can’t ever move on. They are cursed to do what they do, to play the role they play in the grand scheme of things — and most of all, they’re cursed to care.

Not surprisingly, Dean is haunted — by his past and by something that is terrorizing him now (unless he’s finally just losing his grip on reality).

It really, really worked that Sam had been back for a whole year, but didn’t tell Dean, because he knew that Dean wanted a chance for a demon-free, normal life. Ditto for Bobby.

“It’s as close to happiness as I’ve ever seen a hunter get,” Bobby tells him. “You were out, Dean.”

The show also did its usual great job of having even minor characters have their own points-of-view, saying and doing unexpected things. Dean says to his new wife Lisa, “I should’ve known if I stayed with you, something would come for me, because something always does.”

But she doesn’t agree: “You’re saying it’s all bad, Dean? Because it was the best year of my life.”

Very nice.

But then things seemed to get simultaneously very by-the-numbers (the wrap-up to the jinn storyline) and also somewhat confusing — not Dean’s drug-induced hallucinations, but what came after.

Why did Dean suddenly change his mind about Lisa and Ben, about not leaving with Sam? Why did Sam accept Dean’s decision so readily? Why the sudden weirdness-but-also-almost-indifference between Sam and Dean? Obviously, the two of them have a long history together — a lot of unresolved feelings. But what exactly made those feelings suddenly arise then?

To me, their final scenes together just seemed so … limp. It’s like the writer of the script (Sera Gamble, the new showrunner) didn’t really know where she wanted to take the episode, so she just sort of … ended it.

Truthfully? I was expecting the whole episode to be some interesting play on reality — that would certainly be in keeping with this show. So when there was no great twist to explain all that had happened, when everything just ended, it left me feeling confused and unsatisfied.

It’s always difficult to review individual episodes of this show, because you never know how they might be setting you up for something important later on the season. Maybe we’ll soon learn exactly why Dean changed his mind — or maybe this wasn’t “Sam” we saw.

It’s also possible I completely missed the point (although I did watch the second half of the episode twice).

Anyway, it left this viewer confused, but what did others think? Yay or nay?

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Welcome back, fiends of the underworld, to the darkest recesses of TheTorchOnline.com. Here, the flames of said Torch fight a losing battle against the encroaching darkness. Because it’s really, really dark. Like, vampire dark.

For these “goth” recaps, we will bring the darkness of True Blood directly into your very soul, and if there’s any light in you, we’ll suck it out. We’re just that goth.

A word of warning for those who wish to remain unspoiled, on this page we indulge in the bloody despair and evil, evil plot points. Ye have been warned …

Last week, the end game of Eric’s season-long ruse to destroy Russell Edgington came to a head, when he handcuffed the king to him after luring him out into the sunlight. Sacrificing yourself to destroy your arch nemesis? Eric could give Vlad the Impaler lessons in gothitude.

Sookie, of course, comes to the rescue, because she just has to ruin a good goth time, what with her perky blondness and fairy powers (which even she agrees is “f&%king lame.”) But after rescuing Eric and leaving Russell to die, Eric commands her to save Russell as well, because a vision of his beloved Godric told him to. Uh … huh. So she does … by pulling him in with a silver chain around his neck. Not too bad, Sookie. You’re still nowhere near goth, however.

But what’s this? After sending the other vampires off to bed, Sookie then sits around watching the vampire king struggle, taunting him all the way? Could this be a turning goth point for her?

And then, by all things dark and unholy! She grabs Talbot’s remains and flushes him down the sink?! Who knew the simple waitress from Merlott’s had it in her?

Speaking of the Merlott’s staff, it turns out Lafayette is still haunted by the demons he first saw when tripping on vampire blood with Jesus. Yeah, like we all haven’t been there. Goth, please. One of his visions included Rene hissing that his baby is inside Arlene. Um … gross.

Meanwhile, Mr. Merlott himself has tracked down his redneck shifter brother Tommy, who has stolen all the money from Sam’s safe. Sam then possibly shoots him. But we’ll have to wait until next summer to know for sure. That is what one calls a “gothhanger.”

After some goth deliberation, Eric decides the best punishment for Russell would be to bury him alive, where he’ll be forced to undergo immortality encased in concrete. Tres goth, you Viking maniac.

Bill then attempts to deliver Eric the same fate … but he should know by now that you can never keep a goth Viking down. Eric shows up at Sookie’s door while Bill is there and tells her about all the horrible things Bill was doing behind her back. That’s beyond goth, actually. That’s just bitchy.

Bill is rightfully gothed-out angry, so he summons the vampire queen, Sophie-Anne, solely for the purpose of playing The Matrix with her. Apparently, vampires take that game very seriously.

Well, that about ends the episode, as well as the season. Turns out this was one of the gothest seasons yet, and this episode sure packed a punch. I couldn’t imagine a more fitting season finale, as every single character, even the impossibly cheerful fairy Sookie, turned into a hot gothy mess. I can’t imagine anyone doing anything to bring any light into the darkness of Bon Temps, which is just the way I like it …

… except of course embracing your fairy heritage and teleporting in a ball of glimmering light.

Oh, god damn it, Sookie.

Until next year, my grubby little goblins — goth out.