Tag Archive | "Doctor Who"

Eight Reasons You Should Be Watching DOCTOR WHO

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If you’re anything like me, you strongly considered handing in your Whovian membership when David Tennant announced his departure from Doctor Who in 2008. I was prepared to hate everything about the new series starting with the new logo and ending with Matt Smith’s hair.

Then something crazy happened: I watched “The Eleventh Hour,” the premiere of the new series, and I loved it.

I loved it so much that, after one episode, I was already prepared to declare this eleventh incarnation my favorite Doctor.

So for those of you who, like me, considered dismissing this new season entirely, let me give you eight good reasons why you really should be watching Doctor Who.

1. Head Writer and Executive Produce, Steve Moffat — Moffat, the man who brought us Coupling as well as the Doctor Who episodes “The Empty Child” and “The Doctor Dances,” has taken over for Russell T. Davies as head writer, and is wasting no time flexing his pretty spectacular writing muscles. With “The Eleventh Hour,” Moffat showed that while his take on a decades-old character would certainly be fresh, he was in no way dismissing the tradition of the ten Doctors who came before him. Even thinking about the Doctor’s monologue from”The Eleventh Hour” sends chills right up my arms and into my brain.

2. Matt Smith — He’s clever; he’s got a  great accent; and he’s a true Who fan through and through. Smith slipped into the roll as easily as pulling on a tweed jacket. He looks every inch of a half-crazy alien from the moment he pops his head out of his little blue box. He embodies Tennant’s geek chic, but his mannerisms are even more layered and nuanced. Smith is a perfect storm of intellectual superiority, distracted puppy, and mysterious menace. How can one man be so lovable and so terrifying?

3. Matt Smith’s hair — I changed my mind somewhere between the promo photos and “The Eleventh Hour.” Probably some time around “Hello, I’m The Doctor. Basically … run.”

4. Karen Gillan — Just when you thought The Doctor’s relationship with his companion couldn’t get anymore complicated, in walks the plucky, precocious Amelia Pond. The Doctor meets her when she’s seven: just an orphaned Scottish girl with a terrifying crack in her wall. He means to meet her again ten minutes later, but it works out to be twelve years, and she’s all grown up and ready to ditch the Doctor dolls she made as a child, and save the earth with the real thing. Not content with the angsty looks and delicious subtext of companion’s past, Amy Pond has already tried to seduce The Doctor once. I approve.

5. Karen Gillan’s hairI want to run my fingers through it so badly It’s lovely enough to be in a shampoo commercial.

6. Big Damn Crack In The Universe — Yes, it’s been a little heavy-handed at times, but I find myself growing increasingly desperate to find out what, exactly, is going on with the huge crack that keeps popping up left right and center.

7. Daleks — They’re baaaaaack, though frankly not looking terribly frightening in their new incarnation. These Daleks were obviously made by Apple. If they were truly evil, they’d be made by Microsoft.

8. This Doctor is happy — Losing the woman he loves and his best friend is enough to ruin any Time Lord’s day, but by the end of David Tennant’s run, the episodes were physically painful to sit through. Couple that with the Torchwood: Children of the Earth mini-series that actually stole my breathe, and I needed a break from my Russell T. Davies-induced nightmares. Smith brings a lightheartedness and youthful excitement to The Doctor that’s a warm, welcome respite from the grief. (For now.)

Big thanks to Jennifer Fitzpatrick for helping me compile my list and screencaps.

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Lessons in Fantasy: How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You

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Another spring is giving way to summer, and you know what that means: Love is no longer in the air.

Oh, it’s easy to fall in love in March and April when the cold, harsh winter is melting away and the sun is shining on your face and the birds are singing and the trees are flourishing and the bumble bees are all exhausted from all their pollen-gathering and bee-copulating.

But summer is stifling and the kids are out of school and, if you’re me, you’ve been crawling around in your attic trying to fix your air conditioner eight out of the last ten days. Summer makes for grumps, and that means it’s far less likely that you’ll feel the delicious bite of cupid’s arrow — unless you take your cue from the world of fantasy.

Using the sci-fi canon as a guide, we’ve made a list of five ways to make someone fall in love with you, even in the sweltering heat.

1) Become a fighter pilot30 Rock has taught us a very important lesson about humor: Things are funny when they’re true. And so Liz Lemon’s series-long fascination with her imaginary boyfriend, Astronaut Mike Dexter, never gets old because we’ve all been there. Who hasn’t been in love with a fighter pilot at some point? (Seriously, show of hands. I don’t believe you.)

Han Solo, Lt. Colonel John Sheppard, Starbuck, Apollo, Buck Rogers, Maverick, Ice Man. It takes a perfect storm of athleticism, arrogance and cockpit know-how to become a top pilot, and when you master it, it’s like making the perfect mix CD. You can get anyone to fall for you at any time in any place on any planet.

2) Give a gift from the heart, preferably one that’s charmed — It’s not just the inexplicably gullible Uther from BBC’s Merlin that has been hoodwinked into love by donning an enchanted pendant (although we can’t remember anything as disgusting as him shagging a troll).

Since the beginning of time, women and men have been using enchanted gifts to woo one another. And it always works because humans are the most narcissistic creatures in the galaxy! We think we deserve gifts! Everyone of us is Snow White: we would all take apples from bitches because … who would want to poison us? No one! We’re lovely!

3) Trap the object of your affection in a confined space, become emotionally unavailable — This technique can work on a spaceship (see, again: Han Solo), but it works equally well with something as ordinary as a police box. Say you are a centuries-old, always-dangerous, occasionally-curmudgeonly, slightly-unhinged bloke with a Messiah complex and a bizarre fetish for being called “Doctor.” Do you think any woman in her right mind would fall in love with you? Absolutely not. Especially if you made clear at the very beginning of your relationship that you’re always being called to sacrifice those closest to you for the good of humanity.

But then, why do all of Doctor Who’s companions fall hopelessly in love with him? And even more bizarre, why do we — who have had the advantage watching eleven doctors over 40 years — fall hopelessly in love with him? We’re not sure. We just know that small spaces and emotional distance is a foolproof recipe for love.

4) Brew or purchase a love potion — No, we’re not talking about tequila. We’re talking that special witches brew that was explored so thoroughly in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It can be administered directly from a cauldron, concealed in confectionery, even diluted in a beverage.

The effects of love potion are immediate and they are potent. It is a powerful aphrodisiac, as evidenced by the fact that the wealthy, handsome Tom Riddle shagged the disfigured pauper Merope Gaunt. (And that Ron Weasley thought he was in love with Romilda Vane when, well, have you met Hermione Granger?) The benefit of a love potion is that if you fall out of love, you can stop giving it. The danger of a love potion is that it can spawn the most evil wizard of all time.

5) Die — No, we’re serious. Accept the fact that you’re never going to snag the man or woman of your dreams and give yourself over to a vampire. In a few centuries, gorgeous women 200 years your junior will not be able to resist you. You can try to murder her. You can verbally abuse her. You can cause her families to be slain. You can hate her friends. You can invite her to a party where your family will try to suck her blood. You can even almost (accidentally) kill her while having sex with her, and it won’t matter. She will love you FOREVER.

You don’t need to be funny or smart or charming. You don’t even need to be handsome. All you need to be is dead. Also, you might want to think about growing your hair out.

Do you have any other sure-fire ways to make someone fall in love with you? Share them in the comments!

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From the Palantir! GAME OF THRONES Will Be Sexy, DARK TOWER Is Coming Soon, and Slave Girl Leia Gets Soapy

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  • George R. R. Martin took a few minutes away from writing A Dance With Dragons to discuss Game of Thrones. It’s fairly involved (to the point they wrote an article, then provided a transcript). He loves big, complex tales, and he’s thrilled HBO was willing to commit. And he’s also excited that with HBO, Standards & Practices is very different from when he worked on Beauty and the Beast. He gets to keep the sex and the violence!
  • G4TV held a car wash for charity where all the participants were dressed up as Slave Girl Princess Leia. Chris Gore went, and stayed in his car with a video camera while everything got soapy.

  • Robert Duncan McNeill was always one of my favorites on my least favorite Star Trek series, Voyager. I wondered why I hadn’t seen much of Tom Paris since, and now I find out it’s because he’s producing Chuck. There are all sorts of nuggets in the interview, like the time Evil-Lyn put an obedience collar on him in He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
  • Fox is going to try and adapt Incognito for the big screen. The superhero book is about a super-strong-supervillain who rolls on his boss and enters witness protection, but he can’t stop using his powers, so his evil former boss finds him. It’s a unique twist on the plotline of The Incredibles, but it could work.
  • A while back I’d mentioned that this season of Doctor Who actually had four bonus episodes written as interactive games to appear on the BBC website. Something of that scale requires a lot of motion capture, and when it comes to motion, Matt Smith is full of it.

  • Juan Jose Campanella is signed up to direct Heck, the film adaptation of the young adult version of Dante’s Inferno. It’s from a book series about a good little boy with a bad sister who dies and gets sent to a “heck-ish” reform school in the first circle of Heck. If they’re adapting the first book, Heck: Where the Bad Kids Go, they potentially have eight more to go, one for each Circle of Heck.
  • Apropos of really nothing, here’s the famous Dirty Dancing ending dance, except with Baby replaced with Iron Man.

  • Another young adult fiction series headed to the big screen is Robert Patterson’s Maximum Ride series about human/avian hybrids who battle with a group of human/wolf hybrids. There’s huge franchise potential, and some sort of supernatural/superpower tie in, even before you get to the rabid Twilight fans who will probably follow director Catherine Hardwick anywhere.
  • Jonah Hex finally has a trailer. For a comic book franchise, this relatively-last minute marketing doesn’t bode well for the success of the film. And the poster for the movie seems to go out of its way to hide the trademark facial disfigurement. Hollywood likes damaged heroes, but not too damaged.

  • Finally, a deal is being made to bring Stephen King’s Dark Tower series of books to both the big and small screen. Currently seven books long, the series follows a western format with cowboys, but adds magic. The plan is for three movies with a supporting television series.  Akiva Goldsman will write the scripts, Ron Howard will direct, and Brian Grazer will produce what will be the next big thing.

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From the Palantir! A BLACK WIDOW Spin-Off, HAVEN’s Emily Rose, and the World’s Least Exciting Superhero

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  • Sony may have to make a decision that should make plenty of people happy, including me: make a Ghost Rider sequel without Nic Cage. The actor wants to come back, but has a jam-packed schedule, and if Sony doesn’t get production underway but November 14 of this year, Marvel gets the character rights back, and Disney would love to be in the Ghost Rider business.
  • Ryan Carnes is set to play the world’s least exciting super hero, The Phantom. The first trailer is out from SyFy’s four-hour miniseries, meant to serve as a possible backdoor pilot for a series. The new Phantom has technology and an attitude, but he doesn’t wear spandex.

  • Disney is so anxious to make some money off the Marvel purchase that they’re even entertaining the possibility of spinning Black Widow off from Iron Man into her own franchise. I’m not comics savvy, but I hadn’t even heard of Black Widow until this Iron Man sequel.
  • As long as we’re stuck in the comics universe, the Wall Street Journal has weighed in with a fawning editorial on why Joss Whedon is the only person who can make The Avengers work. Their argument seems to be that he once did Buffy, and if you ignore anything else he did, he’s brilliant.
  • Collider took all five Iron Man 2 clips released this week and created one super-clip for our enjoyment. Plus, AC/DC is a great way to get pumped for the week.

  • Taking an early look at the genre pilots being shot by the major broadcast networks, it’s a mixed bag. It still looks like Terra Nova is a lock on Fox with Brannon Braga on board to destroy the dino series faster than a comet collision. NBC is interested in the Batman-esque The Cape with the former cop turned super hero. ABC isn’t looking at much. The CW has the Nikita concept, which is slightly futuristic spy-thriller, and Nomads, which is college students working for the CIA. It’s a little bare other than that.
  • Avatar: The Last Airbender has released a new trailer, and there’s still nothing funny, but it does have something very, very important to the story – Appa! Appa in flight, and he looks just like Appa should. I want a flying bison!

  • Catching up with Haven star Emily Rose, we find that there’s a decent amount of Stephen King’s The Colorado Kid to the paranormal detective series, but it also sound like they’re holding on to the “soap-opera” aspect noted by plenty of others. It will be much more character-driven than spooky.

  • Now that the United States has seen two episodes of Matt Smith as Doctor Who, people are starting to weigh in on the quality. It seems to be undeniable that Matt Smith and Karen Gillen are charming and well-balanced as Doctor and Companion. But some feel that showrunner and lead writer Steven Moffat is afraid to take the story into the deep end. And I admit, it feels a bit safe up to this point.
  • Ricardo de Montreuil’s short film The Raven takes place in an alternative future in Los Angeles, with protagonist Chris Black possessing a “power that could lead to the downfall of the current regime.” It’s fairly impressive, considering it was shot for just $5,000.

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An American Version of TORCHWOOD is a Bad Idea … For Now

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Dear Russell T. Davies,

What up, dawg, it’s TheTorchOnline.com. Look, I know you’re a busy dude, so I’ll make this quick.

I heard you were planning on maybe doing an American version of Torchwood. I’m just going to cut right to the chase — I don’t think that’s a good idea. Here’s why.

Reason #1: The British version isn’t done.

Season One was awesome. Season Two was awesome-er, if a little more bleak. And then you dropped that crazy bomb on us that was “Children of Earth,” the admittedly impressive-looking miniseries that killed off the best character on the show, Ianto, and sent Jack to the stars, leaving Gwen as the only member of Torchwood Cardiff left.

That, dude, is what we call a cliffhanger, and it would be a wrongdoing of epically heinous proportions to never continue that storyline in favor of rebooting the franchise for American TV.

But wait, you say,  it may not a reboot at all, but rather a continuation of the series? And you want it to still star John Barrowman?

Reason #2: Americans don’t know who John Barrowman is.

Before you get upset, let me clear that up. A lot of Americans do, in fact, know of the phenom that is J-Bar. But he’s not a household name, and to hang a series on him would be considered risky by any network.

The percentage of hardcore American sci-fi fans, people who live and breathe things like Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, who don’t know Jack (see what I did there?) about Torchwood and Doctor Who is staggering. Sure, there are a lot of fans, but the fact is that with Torchwood, you would be introducing a brand-new entity to a huge number of viewers. A network would want a recognizable face to sweeten the deal. How will you feel when they tell you they want Brian Austin Greene to play Jack Harkness?

Reason #3: Ever heard of a guy called The Doctor?

Adding to the mix is that Torchwood is set in the Doctor Who universe, so it would essentially be a companion show with no companion. Imagine if you had never seen or heard of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and then your country started playing Angel. You’d be a little confused, right?

Sure, you could just remove all Doctor Who references, and the show would essentially be the same. As it is, there’s very little crossovers occurring. But the subtle connections to Doctor Who are so much of the innate beauty of Torchwood, and to lose that would be a shame.

Oh, another thing …

Reason #4: American TV execs will suck the life and soul out of Torchwood without a second thought.

I love Doctor Who for its family-friendly vibe that still manages to pack a ton of emotion. I mean, did you see “Doomsday?!” Oh, you wrote it, so I guess you did, but holy crap, guy, that was some heart-rending stuff. Good show.

Obviously, with Torchwood you went for a more adult vibe, letting things get dark and sexy early and often. And the thing that set it apart, so remarkable at first and then so quickly becoming just one piece of the show’s fabric, was the concept of bisexuality (or omnisexuality) that was embraced by pretty much every major character. Even ladies’ man Owen snogged a dude in the very first episode!

I can just see a producer’s head spinning when asked if that aspect will be included in the American version. We’ve never been able to escape our Puritan roots on this side of the pond, and I can just see the conversation right now: “Tell you what. I’ll give you ONE character who can be bisexual. As long as it’s a woman. And she’s gotta be ridiculously hot. Like, the kind of hot it’s stupid.”

Yeah, man. That’s what TV execs sound like. And they’re not being ironic.

Oh, wait, I forgot about the biggest reason of all:

Reason #5: It will probably fail. Because that’s what most good shows do.

We have a great legacy in this country of killing genre shows before they’re given a chance to become the hits they’re clearly destined to be. Want proof? Ask Joss Whedon.

Torchwood is, IMHO, too good to flourish on American TV right now. Call me jaded, but that’s where our climate is. And what a bummer that would be to discontinue the current series for the purposes of bringing it over to the US, only to have it be canceled in five episodes.

So there ya have it, RTD — my two cents. Do with it as you will. But know that as a fan, I really want to see Torchwood continue to thrive. And sadly, I just don’t think my home country is the place for that to happen.

However …

If, after the BBC series has run its course, and there are no more stories to tell in Cardiff … then bring that action over here and see what happens. There’ll be nothing to lose (well, except a lot of money, I guess). Just don’t sacrifice the current show for the possibility of a home run in the States.

‘Cause let me tell ya, it’s a long shot.

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From the Palantir! A Language for GAME OF THRONES and a Boring PRINCE OF PERSIA?

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  • I’m super-excited about the HBO series based on George R.R. Martin’s A Game of Thrones. Despite the fact that George R.R. Martin is not my bitch, I anxiously await both the series and the next book. But the news that HBO actually hired a language expert to invent a language for the horse warrior Dothraki people made my day. New languages are world-building at its finest. Hopefully it doesn’t end up sounding “athastokhdeveshizaroon.”
  • I’m pleased that the actors did their own stunts in Prince of Persia. I’m not pleased that the movie looks like it could act as a sleep aid – is that just me?

  • On a list of 5 Shows That Will Get Me To Watch TV Again, the author has two that fit as genre series: The Walking Dead is the adaptation of the zombie comic, the Untitled Alien Invasion Series is by Steve Spielberg, who only missteps occasionally. Me, I’m holding out for M*A*S*H: Iraq. That’s worth paying for cable to see.

….A second reason, however, was that I am indebted to the British welfare state — the very one that Mr. Cameron would like to replace with charity handouts. When my life hit rock bottom, that safety net, threadbare though it had become under John Major’s Government, was there to break the fall. I cannot help feeling, therefore, that it would have been contemptible to scarper for the West Indies at the first sniff of a seven-figure royalty cheque. This, if you like, is my notion of patriotism.

  • My fellow Palantir-er, Tim O’Leary let you have the news that Joss Whedon was going to direct The Avengers. Now comes the news that he might also be rewriting the screenplays for both The Avengers and Captain America. It makes sense – Joss is a great writer, understands genre work, and the Marvel films need to start having a common feel if they’re to come together in The Avengers.
  • If you haven’t read Neal Stephenson’s insanely good Anathem, I highly recommend it. I also recommend you go and check out the Long Now Foundation’s 10,000 Year Clock which featured in the book and is now real. No point in thinking small like the Mayans did, now is there?
  • I hate myself for caring about The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, but I’m really excited to see the movie, despite my aversion to Nic Cage. The WonderCon panel did not put me off the film.

  • My contempt for reboots of franchises is fairly well known in cyberspace. But even I’m struck by the concept of rebooting a book. Has anyone ever had the guts to do it? I suppose you could argue Wicked was a reboot of The Wizard of Oz. But it was a huge media property – I’ve never heard of Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper. But Jon Scalzi is going to reboot the books. And he has the permission of the estate. And it may be science fiction, but that looks more like a demon than an alien on the cover. Who knows if this is a good idea?
  • Here’s an odd one. This is the trailer for a short called Hector, Inc. which seems to have some paranormal stuff, magic, and a demonic penguin, all in an office setting. Suitably strange?

  • There’s an interesting question brewing at io9.com about which franchise has the most rabid fans. They lump science fiction and fantasy in together, which I think is a little sloppy. So what about fantasy – which fans are craziest? Doctor Who, which has been making time travel possible through a living space ship for so many years? What about Twilight? Their fans are unreasonably supportive, but fairly recent. True Blood? Harry Potter? Can we lump in D&D? What fantasy franchise has the mostly insanely loyal fanbase? What sets it apart – longevity, role playing, merchandising? Tell us in the comments.
  • Speaking of Doctor Who, here are some clips from “The Victory of the Daleks” which should be airing this weekend in the U.K. It seems an odd take on an old enemy.

Have a great weekend!

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From the Palantir! Whedon To Direct The AVENGERS, and Tolkien and C.S.S. Lewis Team Up

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  • I’m open about the fact that I’m a newb to the Doctor Who universe, having discovered it after really enjoying Torchwood a few months ago. But in those months, I’ve gotten to know the world of Who quite well, and while I’m going to desperately miss David Tennant, I’m really looking forward to the new season. io9 has an interview with the cast and writer that’s well worth a look.

  • Did you guys know there are fantasy-adventure books out with J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis as the protagonists? I didn’t, but apparently they will soon be turned into movies, and get this: they’ll be produced by Rick Porras, who will be well-known to owners of the DVDs of Lord of the Rings. This is like concentric rings of geekdom. And I love it!
  • I’m not sure how people are reacting to Chris Evans as Captain America on the whole. When I was at PAX East, some dude overheard me talking about it with friends and shouted “Sucks!” So, that’s one guy … with apparently no social skills. What do you guys thing? Anyway, Ain’t It Cool has a little piece about it here.
  • Gaaah … this freaks me the eff out, but it might be worth a look if you’re into weird, challenging art. An artist named Jason de Caires Taylor has taken to creating creepy, lifelike sculptures and placing them on the bottom of the sea floor. I don’t know why, but it gives me the serious heebiejeebies.

  • Number three on the aforementioned list is the entire life of Daredevil. I feel bad for the guy, such a series of unlucky breaks, and then a less-than-stellar movie. Beyond that, he’s also the victim of a pretty hilarious blooper while filming a fight scene … (Warning: Very mildly NSFW language.)

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From the Palantir! A SPARTACUS “Prequel,” Anxious Skeletons, and Neil Gaiman’s INSTRUCTIONS

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  • Buzz keeps building around the French feature film The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec. It seems to cross a little bit of Egyptian mysticism with some insanely improbable archeology, living mummies, and pterodactyls – plus it looks funny, which is no small accomplishment considering I don’t speak French. Tons of new clips have been released, along with sexy photos, and this subtitled trailer.

  • This list purports to deduce what your favorite television show, from The Price Is Right to True Blood to Big Bang Theory, says about you. Mostly I think it says that list compilers need to get out of their mother’s basements more often and meet people.
  • Parisian photographer Mac Da Cuhna Lopes has a new series called SKLT taken with fanciful skeletons in odd, anticipatory poses, such as this one that appears to be waiting for his owner to arrive home. I’ve no idea if the tail holds together once it starts wagging.
  • You’ll have to forgive my gaming knowledge – I’m much more of a Wii Sports guy than I am big PS3/X-Box games, so I know very little about Crysis, and by extension, Crysis 2. But when you see the avatar walking around a desolate New York City, with the saddest version of “New York, New York” I’ve ever heard playing in the background, it does catch the eye.

  • In other news that’s depresses me, Meinhardt Raabe died on Friday at age 94. The name may not mean much to you, but you know him best as the Munchkin who pronounced the Wicked Witch of the East “most sincerely dead” in The Wizard of Oz.
  • Some viewers are complaining that the new series of Doctor Who is too sexy, with the companion working in the kiss-o-gram business with short skirts and costumes. Plus she ogled The Doctor when he stripped down and changed clothes. I’m actually completely enchanted with what Amelia Pond brings to the table.
  • Neil Gaiman has a lovely new illustrated book of stories, Instructions, coming out with artwork by Charles Vess, and to entice us to buy (as if he needed bother), we have this trailer for the book.

  • Tremors was absolutely one of the campiest monster movies ever produced with a straight face, and is the spiritual father to every SyFy Original Movie ever made. So it seems fitting that 20 years after the release, you’ve got a browser-based video game called Tremerz popping up for you to waste your Monday playing, complete with a misappropriated image of Kevin Bacon.
  • Silly comedy Date Night walked away with the weekend box office win with $27.1 million, while Clash of the Titans dropped 55% and held onto second with $26.9 million, while How to Train Your Dragon, in the third week, slipped a mere 11% to $25.4 million for third place. For those keeping score, that means Clash isn’t quite the Watchman-level bomb we suggested it might be — although it’s by no means the runaway-hit the studio wants (and has portrayed) it to be either. We still say a sequel isn’t a given.
  • I’m completely enchanted with the trailer for the indie film  The Boy with a Candy Heart. A piñata maker wanted a child, so she built a boy, and he grew up, and started to work in a candy store, and eventually started dating. The imagery seems clever, with a skinned knee leaking Skittles. I’m curious to see how it holds up beyond trailer length, but I’m hopeful.

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From the Palantir! LIL’ GUILDIES and George R.R. Martin Is Not Your Bitch

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  • Chris Hemsworth flew in to support baby brother Liam at the premiere of that awful Miley Cyrus movie (best review? Miley Cyrus Upstaged by Sea Turtles). And Access Hollywood got him to take a moment to discuss Thor, and somehow it became a Norse fashion discussion.

  • A while back, fantasy king Neil Gaiman responded to a reader complaining about the next Song of Fire and Ice book from George R.R. Martin. His rather blunt response was to say “George R.R. Martin is not your bitch.” This wise piece of rather disappointing information has now been developed and set to music.
  • I was looking through the ratings for syndicated shows, and it explains a lot about the fate of Legend of the Seeker. It’s nowhere near a Top 25 syndicated show, and none of the Top 25 have to support original production of a scripted program. Most are reality or game shows. Not fair, is it?
  • Just because we hate the idea of things like Battleship, Monopoly, and Candyland (O.K., Candyland could be cool) being made into movies, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t work. This is evidently old, but I’d never seen the trailer for Pacman: The Movie.

  • Brian Froud says work is progressing on Dark Crystal 2, including character build by Henson. The only reason that I’m not terrified of them touching this fond memory is that Genndy Tartakovsky of Samurai Jack fame is onboard to direct. Can puppets still thrill us after so many years of CGI?
  • I’m not sure, but this bizarre new Muppet music video of ‘Stand By Me” surfaced yesterday. While it’s the classic tune, I keep hearing a children’s song about “Little Bunny Foo-Foo” in my head when I watch him hunting the forest. Maybe puppets can still excite after all these years of CGI.

  • We’ve got the first concept art for what is Ridley Scott’s Forever War movie. Honestly, the concept of an elite military task force going off on a brief battle and returning to earth find 20 years lost and everything changed sounds a little tired, but the art looks a little unique for that synopsis.
  • The Iron Man 2 onslaught continues, and now we have a trailer meant to hype why you should see the film in IMAX. There’s a couple of new fight scenes in the film and a much better look at the opposing mechs. Best part is that Tony Stark is so freaking funny.

  • When speaking to io9.com, Beth Williams, who’s taking over the production side of Doctor Who talks about bringing The Doctor into the 21st century (sounds weird to say). From the new TARDIS, to the new Doctor, new sonic screwdriver, and brand new CGI, everything is updated. Much attention has been lavished on the musical score, and they have budget for things like helicopters. Can’t wait for the U.S. premiere.
  • Funny thing: On April 1, SyFy had a press release about a new SyFy Original Movie called Scream of the Banshee. Here’s the issue: I have no idea if something this bad is a real film, or if it’s an April Fool’s Day joke. How sad is your production if an entertainment blogger can’t tell the difference?
  • The saddest thing to me about Lost approaching the series finale is that I can’t mock it anymore. Unless someone wants to take this drawings for Lost: The Animated Series and turn them into something?

  • Here’s my favorite part of the column, because I was without a closer this week until the last minute. I’m sure you’re all aware of the fantasy web series The Guild, created and starred in by the delicious Felicia Day? Here’s the animated spinoff series, Lil’ Guildies. Have a great weekend!

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From the Palantir! Zombies Vs. Unicorns. Plus, the Guy Who Wrote BATTLEFIELD EARTH Apologizes

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  • John Bernthal (The Ghost Writer) has signed on for AMC’s zombie series The Walking Dead. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about a zombie television series – it’s weird thinking about zombies being the protagonists of the story, but considering it’s from Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, best movie ever), I’m will to entertain the concept.

  • Bryan Singer will not be directing X-Men: First Class, but he is producing. Singer can’t get away from his existing contract to direct Jack the Giant Killer, so Fox is going to get another director to create Singer’s concept. Please be more X-Men than X-Men 3.
  • Doctor Who is less than a week away for our British readers, and just a couple weeks for those in the States. So it seems only fitting that there’s a new season 5 trailer that premiered on Jonathan Ross.

  • Jonathan also has some footage from “Vampires In Venice” which is the sixth episode from the season. I’m warming to Matt Smith — the more I see, the more I like him. He feels very much The Doctor.

  • I’m sure some of you are fans of the nerdtastic The Big Bang Theory. Despite protesting that Sheldon is asexual, they have cast a female version of Sheldon to appear later in the series. They do spend the night together, but if she’s actually just like him, I assume they argue the whole night rather than get frisky. The actress is a flashback though - Mayim Bialik, better known as Blossom to those of us of a certain age.
  • The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards were this weekend, and the main fantasy bit was Taylor Lautner’s abs were voted best actor. But more importantly, they ran a new spot for Iron Man 2 during the show, and it may finish with the best line ever in a movie trailer.

  • The Los Angeles Times is reporting that the leading candidate to play Maleficent in the Disney adaptation of their greatest villain is none other than Angelina Jolie. Take this with a huge grain of salt, since there’s no script, no director, and no timeline, but she does look the part.
  • Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies: The Compendium Monstrum is a travel-sized book with everything you need to know for surviving the titled monsters or traversing Transylvania. Complete with historical information and hand-drawn maps of the most infested parts of the globe, this $10 book is a must-have for surviving in a world-gone-mad.
  • Josh Cochran is selling a limited edition print of his poster Zombies vs. Unicorns. It’s not necessarily a battle that had crossed my mind, but inked in four colors, it truly is epic, even if the primary weapon seems to be unicorn horns for both sides.

  • How To Train Your Dragon was a strong hit this weekend, raking in $43.3 million and getting mostly positive reviews from people who saw it. This bumped Alice In Wonderland down to #2 with $17.3 million, giving fantasy both top slots. Hot Tub Time Machine was a disappointing #3 at $13.7, and may be the final nail in MGM’s coffin.
  • Australia’s Hungry Beast Comedy Troupe managed to hit every science fiction and fantasy movie released in the last ten years when they made this parody trailer for Avatar 2. Best joke about blue people since Dances with Smurfs.

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From the Palantir! At Long Last, CAPTAIN AMERICA! But Are the X-MEN Safe?

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  • Let’s get the most important news of the country out of the way first: earlier today, President Barack Obama, before television cameras and, indeed, the eyes of the entire country, formalized an initiative that has had most of the nation on the edge of their seats. After long, rigorous debates, in which members from all sides of the spectrum weighed in their opinions, our nation’s leader has finally and decisively signed into law the fact that Chris Evans will play Captain America.
  • Apparently, after this historic and bound-to-be-legendary act, President Obama found a scrap of paper on the ground with … some sort of health care reform ideas? I don’t know, it doesn’t sound very interesting, but here’s 5 Dystopias that it might prevent, including a mutant plague. Awesome.
  • Remember how last year we announced the upcoming Greek myth film, War of the Gods, and then recently mentioned how the title changed to Dawn of War? Well, according to some sources it’s back to War of the Gods, while its IMDB page still lists Dawn of War. Whatever it’s called, Twilight hunk Kellan Lutz has been cast as Poseidon, the god of the sea. As a Greek myth buff, you know I’m'a be all over this piece like wine on Dionysus as it develops. (I just cemented my supergeek status, didn’t I? Le sigh.)
  • This doth breaketh my fanboy heart: there is a possibility that Bryan Singer may not return to the X-men franchise after all. Singer’s original X-men, which premiered in the summer of 2000 and can be given a lot of credit for the current boom in superhero movies (which, arguably, is dubious praise), was a fine piece of work, and the follow-up sequel, X2: X-men United, was about as sublime as a superhero movie gets. Brett Ratner’s tepid X-men 3 and the abysmal Wolverine prove that Singer is the man who needs to be helming these movies if they stand a chance of reclaiming their former glory.
  • It’s only been very recently that I became a fan of Doctor Who (by way of Torchwood), but let me say that I am hooked (I totally know my Daleks from my Cybermen), and am greatly looking forward to the next season, or “series,” as they say across the pond. Oh, those British, with their “series” and their “bums.” Someday we’ll teach them proper English.

  • Toy Story 3 is coming out about a bajillion years after the previous installment, and they’ve got some new characters for ya, with such colorful names as Dolly and … erm … Mr. Pricklepants.  (Look, I just report it.) They’re even nice enough to give you some weird, slightly creepy silent Youtube videos of the characters slowly turning in a circle. Uh … huh.
  • We recently showed you the wildly popular Batman (with a lightsaber) vs. Great White Shark picture which has been blowing up the internets, and here’s the next installment: Batman vs. Darth Vader.

  • Last summer, long before ads began appearing for the upcoming Repo Men, I rented a bizarre, trippy little indie film called Repo: The Genetic Rock Opera, which contained basically the exact same plot as the upcoming big-budget Jude Law flick. Only with music. And Anthony Stewart Head. And … Paris Hilton. Seriously. I can’t exactly recommend the film, because it wasn’t really to my taste, but for those adventurous film buffs out there, here’s the trailer:

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DOCTOR WHO Preview Trailer

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