Have a question about something fantasy-related? Ask the Oracle! (Be sure to include your first name and the city, state, and/or country you are writing from.)

Q: Why are The Chronicles of Narnia presented in different orders? The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe was the first movie, but The Magician’s Nephew is the first book. Why? — Adelle, Toronto, Canada

A: The Oracle can reveal that the book series originally began with The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, which was published first. The next three books published, Prince Caspian, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and The Silver Chair, were in chronological order. Then author C.S. Lewis stepped back in “Narnia” time to publish two “earlier” stories, The Horse and His Boy (which takes place at the same time as The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe) and The Magician’s Nephew (which tells the Narnia creation story). Finally, Lewis wrote a seventh book, The Last Battle, which were the last chronological events involving Narnia, wrapping up the series.

This wasn’t the exact order they were written in, but Lewis was on board with publishing them this way.

In 1994, after Lewis had died, the series changed publishers, to HarperCollins. They decided to market the books in absolute chronological order from then on (starting with The Magician’s Nephew, which takes place first in Narnia-time), supposedly at the request of Lewis’ step-son, who quoted a letter the author had once written to a child: “I think I agree with your order [i.e. chronological] for reading the books more than with your mother’s. The series was not planned beforehand as she thinks.”

In other words, the publisher’s decision was all based on casual  letter to a child fan, in which the author was no doubt bending over backwards to be solicitous.

In fact, Wardrobe’s wardrobe is the perfect entry to the magical world of Narnia. Why spend all those chapters gradually unfolding the mystery if there’s no real mystery there?

Nephew, meanwhile, was clearly written for a readership already familiar with Narnia, as the country is mentioned in the first paragraph. And what about references in Wardrobe like, “None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do”? If the book comes second in the series, “you,” the reader, would be very familiar with Aslan.

And what about the last, wonderful line in the book: “That is the very end of the adventure of the wardrobe. But if the Professor was right, it was only the beginning of the adventures of Narnia.” Indeed, Prince Caspian, the next book in the series, is even subtitled The Return to Narnia!

The Oracle says HarperCollins’ stubborn insistence on chronology is one of the worst decisions in the history of publishing — one that was, thankfully, not shared by the creators of the movie versions.

Q: By my count, there are now three feature film adaptations of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in pre-production. What gives? Will they all get made? And how is this even possible — doesn’t someone control the rights? — Shelley, Milwaukee, WI

A: The Oracle is an incredulous as you are. Two versions, one starring Forest Whitaker and 50 Cent, and another starring Keanu Reeves, are to be called just Jekyll. A third, starring Guillermo Del Toro, is titled Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

This is all on top of the reported more than 123 existing film adaptations.

How is this possible? Well, Robert Louis Stevenson’s original short story, “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” was published in 1886, so the rights are all in the public domain.

But will all three films get made? Extremely doubtful. The Oracle will knock the Del Toro one out right off the top, as it is barely in pre-production and isn’t scheduled for release until 2012. But the other two might make it, as they seemed aimed at different audiences: the Whitaker version is an indie movie with an “urban” twist (and no, the Oracle isn’t just saying that because the actors are black), while the Keanu version is a big fat studio version.

Q: Which is it: are elves immortal, or do they just live a really long time? — Elly, Appleton, WI

A: The Oracle says it partly depends on where your elves live. Do they live in the world of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth — which is the source of most of the modern mythology of what we think of as fantasy “elves”? If so, your elves are definitely immortal. They stop aging after about a hundred years — although they’re definitely capable of being killed, in combat, for example, and also from grief.

Since Middle Earth elves can reproduce, why isn’t the place overrun with them? When elves grow weary of the mortal life, they travel across the sea to Valinor, or the Undying Lands. Why life is any more exciting there is unclear to the Oracle, though it seems to be some kind of “heaven.”

All that said, if your elves live in the world of Dungeons & Dragons role-playing (and, sometimes, in other works derivative of Tolkien), they’re not immortal — they just live a very long time.

Q: How much does TheTorchOnline.com pay its writers? – Shea, Fort Collins, CA

A: Our current rates are low, but the retirement package, which kicks in after five years, is the best in the business: it involves living out the rest of your days at Rivendell, just like Bilbo.

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Like any genre, fantasy has had its share of groaning-inducing moments, in both books and film. Here are my picks for some of the absolute worst:

(1) The Giant Mole in City of Ember

In last year’s fantasy-esque movie City of Ember, about the mystery surrounding an underground city, it wasn’t enough to merely stick to the terrifically fast-paced children’s book by Jeanne Duprau on which the movie was based.

No, they had to go and add “action” and “excitement” — in the form of a giant mole. The creature shows up, completely unexplained, for a single scene, almost destroys an entire building, and then disappears again, with absolutely no mention or panic from the residents of Ember. Then at the very end, the giant mole suddenly shows up again in the most blatant case of deux-ex-machina since Ancient Greece.

The movie wasn’t great, but it was better than the studio executive who made them add that stupid giant mole.

Hiding from Ember’s stupid mole

(2) The Tri-Wizard Tournament in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

The tasks in Goblet of Fire’s Tri-Wizard Tournament always struck me as credibility-stretchers, even within a world of wizardry. Fourteen year-old Harry has to risk being killed by a dragon?

But the second task, where Harry is required to find “important objects” in Hogwart’s Lake, is by far the most ridiculous. What are those “important objects”? Four of Harry’s friends, submerged in the lake, on the verge of death if Harry doesn’t rescue them.

If it’s all an illusion, what’s the point? But it seems pretty clear that it’s not all an illusion, especially since there is talk about how the tournament was previously discontinued for being “too dangerous.”

In other words, Dumbledore and the other teachers are just standing by while four students might die if Harry fails the task — all in the name of tradition? (Yes, yes, Dumbledore later says the whole point was to root out Voldemorte. But risking the lives of children?!)

A ridiculous plot contrivance in an otherwise interesting series.

Goblet’s stupid “task”

(3) C.S. Lewis’ Intrusive Religious Views in The Last Battle

Obviously Lewis intended his Chronicles of Narnia to be an allegory for his Christian religious beliefs, which is all well and good. But what made the books timeless classics for even non-Christians is that the stories work on several levels: the religious allegory one, but also a universal, literary one.

In short, you don’t need to be Christian to enjoy the books.

At least until The Last Battle. In the seventh book in the series, Lewis gives his inner Christian completely free reign, writing a book about “final judgment” and heaven — with a preachy, ham-fisted plot that makes almost no sense unless you’re a Christian, and subscribe to the beliefs of that mythos.

The disaster that is The Last Battle can’t mar the simple beauty of the six books that come before. But it’s a disappointment nonetheless.

(4) The Trailer for Bridge to Terabithia

As anyone who’s ever read Katherine Peterson’s classic children’s novel Bridge to Terabithia knows, it’s the understated story of two teenagers who concoct a pretend fantasy world to combat the horrors of their real lives — and the touching 2007 movie, with only modest special effects, was pretty faithful to the book’s vision.

But the trailer for that film, in one of the most misleading advertising campaigns of all time, tried to fool people who hadn’t read the book into thinking that the movie was the story of two kids who find an elaborate, and actual, fantasy world:

The stupidly misleading Terabithia trailer

(5) The “Suit of Armor” Sex in Excalibur

In Excalibur, John Boorman’s 1981 film about the Arthurian legend, Uther pretends to be the Duke of Cornwall in order to seduce his wife, Igrayne. What disguise does he use? A full suit of armor.

In other words, he has sex with her wearing a full suit of armor.

Is this even possible? Wouldn’t a cloak have worked just as well — or how about just turning out the lights?

A cause for laughter in an otherwise excellent film.

(6) Peter Pan’s Ridiculous Racism and Sexism

I’m not sure which is more exasperating about Disney’s 1953 animated film Peter Pan: the parade of shockingly racist Native American stereotypes in, or its sexist portayal of females as spiteful and petulant (Tinker Bell) or completely passive and worthy of only contempt (Wendy).

Okay, I give up: it’s the racism. This clip is so offensive it makes me want to take a shower:

Peter Pan’s stupid racism

(7) Eragon

Don’t get me started.

(8) The Synthesizers in Ladyhawke

This one seems stupid only in retrospect. The 1985 movie Ladyhawke is the story of a pair of doomed lovers who can never be together — one turns into a hawk during the day, while the other is a wolf at night. At the time, it probably seemed like a good idea to give it a more contemporary, teen-friendly feel by having Alan Parsons compose a synth-heavy score.

But oh, how times change! Though the movie is set in medieval times, the distracting mid-80s score now inspires only mood-destroying laughter:

Ladyhawke’s now- stupid music

(9) Tom Cruise Apologizing to a Unicorn in Legend

Ridley Scott’s 1985 fantasy film Legend had an incredible look. The script? Not so incredible.

In just one of many cringe-inducing moments, Tom Cruise apologizes to a unicorn for stealing its horn, and setting all manner of evil into motion.

And hey! More mid-80s synthesizers!

One of many stupid scenes in Legend

(10) Jim Carrey in A Series of Unfortunate Events

Honestly, has the man not already ruined enough movies?

Carrey stupidly hamming it up

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The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the third movie in The Chronicles of Narnia fantasy film series, will be produced after all, in a co-production between Walden Media and Fox 2000—not Disney, which co-produced the first two films with Walden, but had decided last month not to continue its participation in the franchise.

The Walder/Disney partnership fell apart over budgetary concerns. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Prince Caspian, the first two films in the series, had budgets of over $200 million each. But Caspian was a relative box office disappointment, grossing only $419 million worldwide, compared to $745 million for Wardrobe.

Walden had wanted a budget of $140 million for Dawn Treader, but Disney had insisted that it be kept to $100 million—particularly difficult given the effects-heavy story, with dragons, lots of magic, and a long sea voyage.

The Walden/Fox 2000 co-production of the film will have a budget of $144 million. Michael Apted will direct, and filming will reportedly take place in Australia in mid-2009 with planned 2010 Christmas release.
Joining the cast of actors from two previous movies will be 16 year-old U.K. actor Will Poulter (Son of Rambo) as Eustance Scrubb.

The films are based on the series of classic children’s books by C.S. Lewis.

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader “is, hands down, the best book of the series,” wrote the Los Angeles Times’ TV critic in an essay last month blasting Disney’s decision to pull out of the project.

“Cinematically, Dawn Treader is a no-brainer. It’s a sea voyage, for Pete’s sake. There’s a dragon and missing knights and a wizard and all manner of magic involved. The moral ambiguity of slavery, the deleterious effect of great wealth, the meaning of the afterlife are all dealt with in entertaining and thrilling ways. Aslan barely makes an appearance, so you don’t even need to worry about Liam [Neeson]’s schedule.”

According to Daily Variety, “Caspian, which is considered the least commercially appealing of the seven C.S. Narnia novels, ranked No. 10 in global box office performance last year. Dawn Treader is considered to be a more family film-friendly book, and the goal is to get back to the magical aspects present in the first Narnia pic but mostly absent from Prince Caspian.”

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