Well, one thing we’ve learned over the past few weeks is that when we ask you to chime in on what fantasy characters you think are sexiest, you don’t hold back!

When the polls opened, your votes poured in, as well as quite a few comments.

First things first, I have to offer a mea culpa. I always thought I kept a pretty good ear to the ground when it came to finding the hotties of the male persuasion that inhabited fantasy entertainment, but it turns out I missed three major studs, according to quite a number of comments we received:

Darken Rahl from Legend of the Seeker …

… and the Winchester brothers from Supernatural.

Forgive me, you ravenous fans of man meat. I’ll do better next year!

And now, on to the winner!

You voted for him …

You wanted him …

You appreciated his bravery and strength …

You watched in awe at his studly heroism …

You asked for it …

And now you’re getting it …

The winner of the Sexiest Man of Fantasy is …

… drum roll please …

Zeddicus Z’ul Zorander

From his first appearance in the pilot of Legend of the Seeker wearing nothing more than a well-placed chicken, fans worldwide swooned the moment this virile wizard took the stage. Who could compete with that cunning and mischievous grin, those flashing eyes, and that long, flowing silver hair?

Once this strapping sorcerer entered the world of genre entertainment, we all knew it would be a long while before he was dethroned as the Sexiest Man of Fantasy.

Okay, fine. Here’s the real winner:

Come on, was there ever any doubt? He got 70% of the vote!

If there’s one thing we learned from Legend of the Seeker fans, it’s that they know how to galvanize and get their online presence known. But lest you think Richard Rahl, as portrayed by the ab-licious Craig Horner,  took home the prize simply because fans are trying to save the series, I challenge you to look at that earnest, heroic visage, that Harlequin-romance-novel-cover head of hair, and all two and a half percent of that body fat.

The guy is, quite frankly, sex on a stick, but the best part is he puts all of that lean muscle to work defending the honor of his true love, Kahlan (who just happened to win Sexiest Woman of Fantasy this year), and conquering anyone who would bring destruction to the Midlands.

So congrats, Richie! You earned it.

There’s no two ways about it — Richard won by a landslide. In fact the only other guy on the list to even come close to giving him a run for his money is my boy Spartacus, played so bad-assly (Yeah, that’s an adverb. Look it up!) by Andy Whitfield on Spartacus: Blood and Sand (at 17% of the vote).

Coming in a distant third (at 5%) was True Blood’s Eric (Alexander Skarsgard).

So what have we learned about fantasy fans this week? You all like your men muscly, oiled-up, and ready to hack and slash. And hey, who can blame ya?

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Who’s ready for more sexy?

After our poll in which you all voted for Legend of the Seeker’s Kahlan Amnell as the sexiest woman of the past year’s fantasy entertainment, it’s time to bring on the men!

Once again, let’s get the ground rules out of the way. First and foremost, we are judging the characters, not the actors, on their sex appeal. The difference is subtle, sure, but it’s there. For example, despite Sam Worthington’s handsome looks and fit body, his Perseus may not exactly have started your heart a-racin’ in Clash of the Titans … but you can feel free to correct us in the polls if you see fit.

Second, these are fantasy characters we’re looking for, not sci-fi. We take a broad view of the fantasy genre — high fantasy, low fantasy, medieval fantasy, and supernatural fantasy — but specifically science-related speculative fiction is out.

And finally, the characters have to have appeared in some new work of entertainment in the 2009-2010 season.

Okay, enough with the boring stuff. Begin the cavalcade of men!

Jason Stackhouse

So he’s kind of a tool and not that bright … big deal. Jason Stackhouse, played by Ryan Kwanten, is the lothario of Bon Temps, Louisiana on HBO’s racy True Blood, and it sure doesn’t hurt that he seems to have an allergy to clothing.

Eric

Speaking of True Blood, while genteel southern vampire Bill Compton may have captured the heart of the heroine Sookie, even she can’t deny the animal magnetism of the super-hot vampire sheriff, Eric (Alexander Skarsgard).

Eggs

Our last True Blood hunk is the delicious Benedict Talley, known to his buddies as Eggs. Get it? Eggs Benedict? As played by Mehcad Brooks, he seems pretty appetizing to me.

Dastan

Based on a video game franchise of humble beginnings, Jake Gyllenhaal wowed movie-goers when he proved he has what it takes to be an action star as the dashing Dastan in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. But did he wow you enough to win your vote?

Richard

Considering his true love took the crown for Sexiest Woman of Fantasy, methinks our boy Richard Rahl (Craig Horner) here has a pretty good shot. Over the past two seasons, fans of Legend of the Seeker were witness to the young Lord Rahl coming of age and growing into the hero he was born to be. And what’s sexier than that?

Alistair

Prince Dastan (above) is based on an animated character in a video game, but Alistair from Dragon Age: Origins is a character in a video game. So what?  Just as the sexy enchantress Morrigan was a nominee in our sexy female poll, the hunky Grey Warden Alistair (voiced by Steve Valentine) would surely be on any list of the year’s sexiest male characters.

Spartacus

When Spartacus: Blood and Sand hit the airwaves this past January, no one knew quite what to expect from the show that made a lot of promises to stretch the boundaries of what you could show on television. But it turns out they delivered and then some, and while doing so gave us the immortal hotness that is Spartacus, as played by Andy Whitfield.

Crixus

Spartacus’ enemy-turned-ally, Crixus (Manu Bennett) was the last one to drink the Spartacus Kool-Aid, spending most of his time in the first season as a nasty bully who tortured our poor hero. But you know what? He mostly did it naked, so all’s forgiven.

Pietros

Not everyone likes their men huge and hulking. Starting as a character hovering in the backgrounds, Pietros quickly revealed himself to be a sweet and compassionate man, who was fiercely devoted to his lover, Barca. Sure, his ending may have been quick and tragic, but at least we got a little time to get to know him. And though he may not have had the he-man muscles of the gladiators, check out that slammin’ six-pack!

So there are our official nominees. But if you want someone not mentioned on the list, check the “Other” box in the poll and mention the name in the comments! And stay tuned to find out who won in a week!

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Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Tears” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

I can’t remember the quote exactly, but at one point during The Lord of the Rings, when hope seems lost and a victory in battle seems all but impossible, stoic King Theoden says something like, “If this truly is the end, let it be such an end.”

That pretty much sums up the season — and yes, probably series — finale of Legend of the Seeker.

That the show will probably not return for a third season is a tragedy, but after having viewed the season finale, shot before the powers that be had knowledge of this fact, I can gladly say that the episode “Tears” serves as a fitting and extremely satisfying series finale.

In a way, the episode serves as a microcosm of the entire series: they proudly display the incredible combat choreography that sets the show miles above most other action shows on television, a great deal of magic is used that never feels like a plot cheat, and while “Tears” incorporates a sizable handful of secondary and tertiary recurring characters, it never skimps on character moments for our four heroic leads, namely Zedd, Cara, Richard, and Kahlan.

Speaking purely as a fan and not a critic, one thing I’ve always appreciated about Legend of the Seeker is that while an abundance of magic is used as plot fodder, the writers always define exactly what the magical properties are, and exactly what a person, spell, or object can and cannot do. Therefore, with the crazy magical battles that occur in “Tears,” everything follows logic and no rules are broken.

Everything that happened with Nicci confessing Kahlan worked because of the rules they so carefully set up. That Zedd’s magic is useless against Mord-Sith is well established, and so the Mord-Sith were a true threat. The episode-opening spell on Dahlia worked given what we learned last week, and the Richard-saving Breath of Life that capped everything off resonated not only for its emotional payoff but because it made sense.

It’s easy to cheat as a writer when you’re working with magic, but the writers of Seeker never did, and I applaud them for it.

The plot of “Tears” is so complex I won’t even try to recap it for you, but suffice it to say that while betrayals and fireballs are flying fast and furious, the core of the show — our four heroes — keep the pace moving, even when Kahlan is under Nicci’s thrall. (And might I say, that was one of the several shocking moments of the episode. Who would have thought Kahlan, the Confessor, could ever be confessed?)

While we begin in the alternate reality that dominated the previous episode, much of the story takes place in the real world, as is befitting a series conclusion, and getting back the good Cara we’ve come to love was a moment of pure joy. Much of Seeker’s underlying arc is the love story of Richard and Kahlan, and for those shippers out there, this was the episode to put all your desires to rest.

I won’t lie — I was terrified the show would end on a cliffhanger, with a confessed Kahlan having killed Richard and the Keeper in possession of the Stone of Tears. Fortunately, such was not the case.

But I’ll tell you what I really loved. I loved that, in spite of the twist-heavy plot that had built by show’s end, they let the camera linger on Kahlan weeping over Richard’s dead body.

That was a moment that needed weight, and that’s what they gave us. With bodies littering the ground and a demonic adversary holding the key to their salvation, it’s Richard’s death and that alone that Kahlan can focus on. Because the writers had the confidence in their story to stay in that moment, we felt that sorrow with Kahlan.

In a way, they couldn’t have made a better series finale if they tried. It would seem somehow dishonest if the episode implied they would never have to face an enemy again, and the tiny scene with Darken Rahl resurrecting Nicci hinted at problems to come.

But that wasn’t the conclusion of the episode. The true ending was the revelation that the love shared between Kahlan and Richard was stronger than any dark magic they might ever face, and we end the show the way all good stories should end.

With a kiss.

Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Unbroken” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

You know what’s been missing in a high fantasy show like Legend of the Seeker? Alternate realities.

In the first part of Seeker’s season finale — and, most probably, series finale — we learn that Cara’s turn to the dark side wasn’t through your standard Mord’Sith brainwashing, but rather a heavy bit of black magic. Zedd works some serious mojo to undo the badness done to her, only to wind up in an alternate dimension where the events of last year’s season finale were altered slightly, in that Cara was not involved.

What ended up happening was the original plan succeeded, and Richard totally owned Darken Rahl using the powers of the Box of Orden. This brought about an era of piece in D’Hara in which Richard rules as a just Lord Rahl and married Kahlan. Yay! Happy ending! He even controls Darken Rahl and the Mord’Sith. Not bad, Mr. Cypher.

But of course that’s not to be. It turns out that the world really isn’t that much better off, because the Keeper, you see, exists outside space and time, and so is aware that the world has been changed.

I’m not sure if this is a plot cheat or not, because I’ve always been a little confused as to the extent of the Keeper’s power. But you know what? I’ll buy it, because the show hasn’t let me down yet.

The Keeper advises the Sisters of the Dark to murder Richard’s sister and use her blood to make them immune to the magic protecting the palace. They do, and remove the Box of Orden, stealing Richard’s power, and so he becomes helpless to Rahl’s rule.

Meanwhile, Zedd and Kahlan discover that the Cara in this reality is a kind, unassuming mother of two, who gets caught up in a brief, sweet love affair with none other than Leo, the one-time Seeker. But they decide the best thing to do is to try and reverse the spell, and so tie up this docile Cara against her will and begin the spell again. Unfortunately, the Mord’Sith tracked them there and kill Cara before the spell can be completed.

I’m seriously getting tired of seeing the gorgeous Tabrett Brethell get killed on screen.

This episode seems a fitting counterpart to last year’s season finale, which featured an alternate future in which Kahlan maried Darken Rahl. I like that the show can bend its formula for its season finales, shaking things up and putting the characters n new situations. Sure, it doesn’t have the heavy, intellectual gravitas of episodes like “Torn” and “Hunger,” but it does shed more light on its awesome mythology.

Even though we all know it wasn’t meant to last, it was so gratifying as a long-term fan to see that one moment of bed-oriented joy with Richard and Kahlan, especially when she tells him she’s pregnant. Even though it had only been days since they had consummated their relationship, Kahlan looks at him with a maternal glow, saying that a Confessor just knows. It was a beautiful moment, and it made my heart ache to think we may not see these two on screen together anymore.

All in all, this ep was a fantastic set-up for next week’s season finale. Cue the violins. This is one of my favorite shows on television right now, mostly because it’s so unique. If you have any more oopmh left, Save Our Seeker campaign, do it up. We here at the Torch have your back.

We’re all holding our breath for next week. This week was mostly set-up, which means that next week is going to be insane. I can’t wait.

Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Eternity” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Every episode makes my heart ache a little bit more for Legend of the Seeker. Imagine if Xena had been canceled just as it really hit its prime. Or Buffy. Think of the great episodes we would have been robbed of. That’s exactly what’s happening with Seeker, and with episodes the quality of “Eternity,” it’s a damn shame.

The addition of Cara to the main cast this year was a brilliant stroke, and Tabrett Brethell is a stunning actress to watch. I’ve become so fond of her that this episode was devastating, but the very thing that made it such a bitter pill to swallow is the same thing that made it amazing.

Cara’s evil again.

Probably. Possibly. Well, it certainly looks that way, but it’s possible there’s some deception going on.

This episode earned its five torches for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it really went there in terms of making its characters suffer. Seeing Cara being tortured at the hands of Darken Rahl was agonizing, but it was so rewarding to see what a bad-ass she was for the most part — how strong she was, and how resistant to cracking under torment.

(And is it pervy to mention how sick her abs were? That is a lady who knows her way around a sit-up.)

Sure, the plot once again featured a scenario where it was absolutely essential that the main four split up (amazing how often that happens), but all is forgiven for the situations that provided. Richard and Kahlan head off to find the Stone of Tears, which has proven to be the most elusive rock in the history of the universe, while Zedd and Cara head off with Cara’s friend and fellow Mord-Sith, Dalia, to protect the son that none of us knew Cara had, who just happens to also be the son of Darken Rahl.

Wow, so that’s a lot of new information. Fear not, though — the son was a red herring, and was actually killed at birth. But before we learn this, we see that Cara and Dalia are way, way more than friends. While miles away, Richard and Kahlan are controlling their hormones, Cara and Dalia show no such restraint. As the next scene picks up, Cara and Dalia are getting dressed, and it occurred to me how far we’ve come in the ten years since Xena went off the air.

Xena was a show very much about the love between two women, but the show was always coy about their relationship and never committed to their love being romantic and sexual. As Cara helped strap Dalia into her leathers after a night of lovemaking, it was cool to see that progress has clearly been made.

Another landmark of this episode is that the Stone of Tears actually gets found, but there’s a devastating last-minute revelation that Darken’s torturing of Cara actually worked and turned her back into an evil minion, and she steals the Stone and returns it to Rahl.

They could not have set up the finale any better than this, with the enemy possessing not only their magical object but also one of their own whom they trusted with their lives.

I don’t want to see this show go, but if this truly is the end, it looks as though it will be a fitting, exciting finale.

Four and a half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the Extinction episode of Legend of the Seeker.

It’s a strange thing to review Legend of the Seeker now, a show that I’ve grown to love over the past two years, given what we all learned last week. Even if they aired one of their great comedy episodes, there would be an overlying sense of sorrow, as we know that each minute that ticks by is one less that we’ll have to spend with our heroes.

But the latest episode, “Extinction,” wasn’t a comedy episode. Rather, it was an ep with an exceeding amount of action and adventure, as well as some fantastic character moments, particularly for Darken Rahl and Cara.

Oh, what a fantastic villain is Craig Parker’s Darken Rahl. He was, of course, the big bad of Season One, and in this season has mostly been relegated to featured cameos. But as events hurtle towards the finale and the discovery of the Stone of Tears, Darken Rahl has been restored to life (in a different body … that looks exactly the same) and we’re all the better for it.

Last week, we learned that the Night Wisps, Kahlan’s Tinkerbell-esque buddies, are needed to decipher the instructions for how to use the Stone of Tears. But Darken Rahl also knows this, and sends his D’haran officers to burn down their forest home. This leads to a fantastic fight scene showcasing the rarely seen, utterly brutal side of Kahlan. We’ve seen her kick all sorts of ass over the series, but watching her rip the D’harans apart was something else.

Darken Rahl has saved one Wisp, however, which he uses as a bargaining tool — he wants to join their band and be the one to save the world. And here is one more example of the quality writing on Seeker: their main villain is coercing himself into their company … so he can save the world. But he is only doing that, we learn, to secure his place in Heaven.

Wait, what?

Celestial aspirations aside, this is a great twist on the old mustache-twirling villain who always acts in his own best interest, because the side effect is to everyone’s benefit. So do we want him to fail? Kinda. It’s complicated.

But the big example of the quality writing occurs late in the episode in a quiet moment between Darken and Richard, when it seems that Darken is once again at death’s door. He tells Richard that before Richard killed him, he killed himself years earlier, and made a deal with the Keeper: if he was allowed to live again, he would kill at least one person each day.

Darken Rahl was the world’s first Baneling.

That’s great writing, because not only does it bridge the first season with the second, it also makes you want to rewatch Season One armed with this knowledge. Bravo, Seeker writers.

The other great moment is also a quiet one between Cara and the one surviving Wisp, who gets her to admit that she loves Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd. Cara’s been such a great character this season, and when I think about how she started the season off, this moment had such emotional payoff. So much so that you can overlook the fact that it was really just Tabrett Bethell talking to her hand for three minutes.

I’m going to miss this show so much when it’s over. It’s the only true high fantasy show that I’m aware of on television right now, and its loss will leave a gaping hole. I know there’s a fan campaign that’s attempting to reverse this decision, and while I obviously hope it’s successful, the outlook is grim.

But on the bright side, we still have a small handful of new episodes left, and I, for one, am going to revel in them.

The search for the Stone of Tears may lead to actual weeping.

This has not been a good couple of years for fans of sci-fi and fantasy. Sadly, The Legend of the Seeker now joins Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse in the ranks of shows that reached their second seasons only to be unjustly canceled just as they really started to work their mojo.

I’ll admit it — when I first saw ads for Seeker, I didn’t think I would like it that much. It looked so old school, with its Xena-esque costumes and firmly un-ironic dialogue. The Sword of Truth? A Wizard of the First Order? Surely the show wouldn’t be any good.

Man, did I eat my words after seeing the very first episode.

From the get go, Seeker knew exactly what it was doing at every turn, crafting excellent high fantasy plots with kick-ass action and small but delightful sprinklings of humor. The main cast — Craig Horner, Bridget Regan, Bruce Spence, and the superbly villainous Craig Parker — were top notch, and with the addition in the second season of the sublime Tabrett Bethell, the show hit a truly awesome streak.

One of the characteristics that made it stand out was its incredible fight choreography and cinematography. Rarely do combat scenes ever look this beautiful and brutal on the small screen, but Seeker brought cinema-worthy fights, from one-on-one duels to large-scale melees, with every single episode.

Legend of the Seeker has been a mainstay for us here at TheTorchOnline.com. Over the past two years we’ve reviewed most of the episodes, as well as conducted interviews with the producers and stars, including Craig Horner, Bridget Regan, and Tabrett Bethell, all of whom were gracious and charming. (And I learned, to my eternal delight, that Bridget Regan reads our reviews when she quoted something I had written about her costume!)

Last year, Horner’s Richard Cypher even made our list of the Top 7 Sexiest Men of Fantasy (and don’t be surprised to see more of the cast making the lists again this summer!) and the aforementioned fight scenes made our list of Best Magical Fights.

Though the show only had a third of the life of its predecessor Xena, it has delivered two full seasons’ worth of excellent episodes, and thanks to DVDs and the internet, the show will live on.

The adventures of Richard and company will not be forgotten any time soon by its legion of fans, and you can be sure we here at TheTorchOnline.com won’t forget them either. We still have the rest of this season to review — and the next episode looks awesome, with the newly-resurrected Darken Rahl — and who knows what retrospectives, lists, or other wacky articles the folks of the Midlands may find their way into?

One thing’s for sure. There may not be a new season of Seeker next fall, but its spirit will be kept alive.

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Four and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Walter” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

A couple of months ago, Legend of the Seeker aired an episode that featured two Kahlans, and the result was one of the best episodes of the season. This weekend, that went back to the body-double well, and guess what? Another home run!

Full disclosure: I was never a big fan of the Xena episodes that featured her lookalikes, which tended to be overly silly and campy, but not actually that funny.

But with “Walter,” the writers took the character who was least likely to be made into a comic relief — Darken Rahl — and somehow pulled it off beautifully, creating awesome moments for Craig Parker to shine while never once compromising how dangerous a character Rahl is.

I was really blown away by Parker in this episode. Not only did he deliver his usual fantastic portrayal of the most slithery villain this side of a Disney cartoon, he also created an entirely different character — with an utterly delightful American accent, by the way — who was hilarious. Seriously. I’ve always enjoyed Parker for his great roles in Seeker as well as Spartacus: Blood and Sand and Lord of the Rings, but the revelation that he his a gifted comic actor is pushing my admiration into serious man-crush territory.

This is one of those episodes that has tremendous rewatch appeal. Parker’s craft is so spot on that he even made the characters look different (when they were identical!) just by adding certain tics and gestures. Genius.

But lest you think this was a plot-light comedy episode a la “Princess,” oh, no! This was actually an incredibly important episode in that it features a number of occurrences that have a hefty effect on the plot, not least of which, obviously, is that Darken Rahl has returned to life. And even though it’s not technically his body, it looks exactly like him, so no worries.

I really enjoyed Walter’s story, and really dug the device of framing it as a tale being told between two men in a tavern. I liked that the writers felt confident in not bringing in our main heroes until almost halfway through the episode.

By this point, the audience has learned to trust in the storytelling ability of Seeker, and rightly so. It’s a show that keeps you guessing. I honestly didn’t know where the plot was going half the time, and doesn’t that seem all too rare these days?

As always, the show looked spectacular, with its awesome, expertly-choreographed fight scenes and CGI magic being cast all over the place.

It was cool to see Kahlan use her Confessor power again, even though it now almost always means whoever she confesses is sure to die before episode’s end.

The flashbacks to scenes that would have taken place during Season One were a nice way of linking this current season with the last, adding some enjoyable continuity into the show.

And I especially loved all of Walter’s impersonation scenes. Craig Parker had to play a nervous guy impersonating his own character, which is enough to make any actor cross-eyed, but as stated earlier, Parker is clearly the man. He made it look easy.

You go, Legend of the Seeker. You go.

Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Vengeance” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Now this is how you do a guest star episode!

After the less-than-impressive clip show that was the guest vehicle for Keisha Castle-Hughes, I was worried that the casting of John Rhys-Davies (Gimli in The Lord of the Rings) might be just another pointless guest star in a pointless episode.

Boy, was I wrong! Not only was Mr. Rhys-Davies used well, his character served as an integral plot point that affected the entire show. Not just the season, mind you, but the show.

It was cool to see Thaddicus again, as I really get a kick out of seeing Zeddicus in the frustrated-older-brother role, although this time that wasn’t done to comic effect at all, but rather to add to the drama.

But what really sold me about this episode was what I always enjoy the most about Seeker: when the writing goes in directions I don’t see coming. There was a lot of story told in flashback, which as a rule can be irritating but was done very smoothly here, and as a nice touch of continuity they used the same actor as the de-aged Zeddicus we saw in an earlier show.

I’m pretty much of the opinion that Craig Parker is the man, as he’s currently playing two slithery, nasty villains (Darken Rahl as well as Glaber on Spartacus: Blood and Sand) and manages to somehow make them completely different from each other.

This is an actor who understands nuance. Darken Rahl gets a lot of screen time here — not always an easy task when your character is dead — and he was so good in his psychological maneuvering of Thaddicus in an early scene that even I was convinced he was telling the truth … which, in a way, he was.

Which brings us to what made this episode truly stand out: the moral ambiguity of the two fathers in question, Panis Rahl (the father of Richard and Darken), and Zedd and Thaddicus’ dear old dad.

Both men acted in ways that could be considered vile while, in their heads, they were doing the right thing. Panis Rahl, as he admitted himself, became evil, though he did in fact attempt to atone for his sins.

John Rhys-Davies was magnificent in the role, bringing humanity and a quiet dignity to what could so easily have been a one-dimensional character in a lesser actor’s hands. The regular cast, as always, were superb, and this was a pivotal episode in the mythology of this season, as we feel ourselves pulling ever closer to the inevitable discovery of the Stone of Tears.

After a brief stumble, this show is back on track. Now that Spartacus has wrapped, this is the only real place we can go for fantasy entertainment, and fortunately they’re doing a fantastic job.

Three and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Desecrated” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Hey, look, an evil wizard!

Okay, so that’s something we’ve definitely seen before on Legend of the Seeker. But, in all fairness, you know what they’ve been a little shy on? Mummies. Definitely a scarcity of mummies happening in the Midlands.

Well, that’s all rectified in the latest episode of Seeker, entitled “Desecrated.” I definitely dug the episode, certainly more than that abysmal clip show that preceded this one, but I have to say, I’m surprised this aired now, as opposed to making it a very special Halloween episode.

A mummy is one of the big ones, akin to werewolves and vampires in its “classic monster movie” status, so to have a mummy episode air in April feels a bit weird.

But you know what? I’ve learned to love this show, so I’ll go with it.

The plot is pretty much your standard Seeker Macguffin: a province that has been wracked with warfare against the D’Haran has utilized a lottery to pick men to add to their army. It is in this province where Richard and the gang celebrate his birthday, which unfortunately coincides with the time a vengeful wizard has decided to give the town its come-uppance.

This wizard teleports Cara and Kahlan into a tomb with limited air and demands that five men of the province who have escaped the lottery into the army (due to their wealthy and corrupt parents) be put to death, since his sons died fighting the D’Haran and these boys of privilege were spared that hardship.

Add to that the fact that this uppity sorcerer has also decided to unleash a mummy on the province and you’ve got yourself a fun hour of fantasy entertainment.

Okay, so we’ve got your standard comic book ethical dilemma — a supervillain is lashing out at the cruel world in which he lives, and innocents are paying the price, but he isn’t altogether in the wrong. So kudos to the Seeker team, which has on occasion created scenarios that are too easy to see in terms of black and white.

The only problem? It wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as it could have been.

I’ve gone on record plenty of times saying I really, really enjoy Legend of the Seeker. In fact, it’s grown into one of my favorite shows, and so I demand a lot of it. When it has a total triumph, such as the sublime Kahlan-centric body-doubling episode or the gripping Cara-as-a-Baneling show, I rejoice. When it has an epic fail, such as the clip show of two weeks ago, it gets me down.

When the show is good, it’s very, very good, but unfortunately “Desecrated” landed square in the middle. Neither good nor bad, it just kind of was, which in a show with the potential of Seeker is a real shame.

But why, you ask, if I’m hating on this ep so hardcore, does it get three and a half stars out of five?

The answer to that is an unexpected fourth-act scene involving Cara and Kahlan which has been literally sixteen episodes in the making. I’ve said many times that these two are the most fascinating characters in the show, far more interesting than the relatively easy-to-digest Richard and Zedd, and their relationship is one of the most complex on television.

They have every reason to hate each other, and that’s exactly how they felt when this season began. But over time, you began to see these two women begrudgingly admit their respect and admiration for each other, eventually culminating in … wait for it … an admission of friendship. In a review of an earlier episode I said that a friendship between them would be satisfying if, and only if, it had a season’s worth of adventures to grow. Now it has, and it’s a moment of true emotional resonance. Which, this being Seeker, is immediately followed by a violent smackdown.

All in all, “Desecrated” felt like it could have been so much more, although anything would be seen as an improvement when it follows “Creator.” But I have faith in the show, and am looking forward to it getting back on track.

Two and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Creator” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

So … here’s something weird.

There was a big hullabaloo on the internets this past week as we learned that Oscar nominee Keisha Castle-Hughes, of the Whale Movie and the Jesus Movie fame, was going to appear on Legend of the Seeker as none other than the Creator … also known, more colloquially, as God.

That actually got me amped up. I’ve grown to love Seeker, and when it’s good, it’s really, really good. So imagine my surprise and disappointment upon realizing that the Creator, the ultimate deity of this universe, features in what is essentially a standard clip show.

There was a fascinating story buried in there, one about a girl who was told by her insane mother that she must bear the Jesus-like existence of being God born into a human body with all of its frailties, and who is then taken in by the equally nutty Sisters of the Light who brainwash her into believing this lie and endow her with far more power than any one human should ever wield. She’s not God at all; just the end result of a fanatical mother and a magical cult.

Unfortunately, this story is explained amidst an incredibly drawn-out trial, in which this false Creator accuses Richard of being a servant of the Keeper. Every moment they mention is a mere introduction to a clip of a previous episode, which had to amount to at least a quarter of the entire running time, which for someone who’s seen every episode was immensely annoying.

Though none of what the Creator, whose real name is Maia, says is remotely convincing, she does cause Richard to at one point question whether or not he may actually be a servant of the Keeper and not even know it. Maybe the clips helped get her point across.

The story didn’t build to a climax so much as it just kind of ended, with the Keeper attempting to open a rift beneath our heroes’ very feet, and the Creator using up all of her power to close it. And then she’s gone, and instead of a satisfying conclusion where we empathize with this girl who’s been through hell, we’re left with a frustrating denouement in which Kahlan ponders that maybe she was the real Creator after all.

The good:

Though the overall writing felt lazy (clip show!), the dialogue itself was well-written. The cast consistently proves that they have the kind of chemistry that make other team-oriented genre shows like Buffy and Torchwood so memorable, and all four leads have created characters that you care about, enjoy spending time with, and would like to see succeed.

Keisha Castle-Hughes was excellent in her role, certainly not an easy or forgiving task when you’re playing, you know, God.

And as always, the show looked fantastic. The scenery is lush and gorgeous, the costumes are pitch-perfect, and the action, limited as it was in this episode, is all you can ask for in bad-assery.

The bad:

A clip show, man. A clip show.

Three Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers of the “Bound” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Legend of the Seeker, which has been on such a roll as of late, was destined to eventually deliver an episode that wasn’t quite up to par with the rest, and this episode was “Bound.”

It was by no means a bad story — that sneaky Sister Nicci casts a spell that links her health with Kahlan’s, and then threatens to kill herself if Richard doesn’t take her directly to the Stone of Tears. (Why she didn’t think to do this a long time ago is anyone’s guess.)

While Richard is coerced onto this road trip, Cara, Zedd, and Kahlan work to undo the spell, which involves restoring the preternatural link between mother and child. In other words, Kahlan needs to re-bond with her mother, which will supersede the new, artificial bond with Nicci, and undo the spell. Still with us? Okay, moving on …

The problem is that Kahlan’s mother is dead. But fortunately, she travels with a wizard of the first order who is capable of temporarily raising the dead, if only they have an object the deceased treasured greatly. But all of her mother’s possessions are kept by her deadbeat father. But he’s in jail … what’s a Confessor to do?

If I have one beef with Seeker, it’s that some episodes get bogged down by overly complicated plotlines, which seem to be tangled webs for no reason — there’s no real payoff. Though well-acted by its core cast, as well as by the guest actors portraying Nicci and Kahlan’s father, I never felt engaged in this particular story because it didn’t seem to concern itself too much with what all of this means to Richard, Kahlan, Zedd, and Cara … and they are, after all, the reason we keep coming back to watch each week.

But enough negativity. There were definitely some fun parts of the show, particularly when Richard has to carefully lead Nicci through a field scattered with Dragon’s Breath mines (just go with it) all the while dodging the giant floral ninja stars (or dacras for all you fanboys) being hurled at them by a pursuing gang of Sisters of the Dark.

Also of note was the moving scene where Nicci is dying and Richard is cradling her but, in his mind, talking to Kahlan. He kisses her tenderly on her eyelid, cheek, and lips, and the effect was both slightly erotic and incredibly sad. Craig Horner has proven he’s an actor of some depth, and in interviews he’s shown his charmingly goofy sense of humor. I wish the show let him stretch a bit more, because when he does, it’s captivating.

And because there’s apparently some interest in this sort of thing, I’ll point out that the Sisters once again employed a creep-crawley spider to deliver some magical poison. Commence involuntary shivering now.

Well, even on days when it’s slightly off, Legend of the Seeker never fails to entertain. I’m looking forward to seeing more of this new Nicci, who ended the episode declaring to Darken Rahl that she’s no longer in service of the Keeper. Interesting …