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The mysterious Mrs. Frederick on "Warehouse 13"

Q: So are we finally going to learn what’s the deal with Mrs. Frederick on the upcoming season of Warehouse 13? — Ava, Green Bay, WI

A: Sorta.

“In episode eleven, we learn a tremendous amount about her connection to the warehouse and how it operates, and how she operates,” Jack Kenny, Warehouse 13’s executive producer (and showrunner) tells The Oracle.

“You don’t want to learn too much about her, or she’ll lose her mystery,” he adds. “But we learn some really cool stuff about her that I think in a way makes her more mysterious.”

CCH Pounder, who plays Mrs. Frederick, will appear in five (out of twelve) episodes this year, including the season premiere on July 6th.

Q: So this is a fantasy question, right? I know the story of Icarus is a myth, but is there any evidence that the ancient Greeks actually tried to build human wings? — Mark, Brooklyn, NY

A: There is no known evidence, but it seems pretty likely, doesn’t it? The legend of Icarus dates from at least 1400 B.C., and surely there were boundary-pushing scholars (and drunken college idiots) even back then!

The first known attempt at such heavier-than-air flight was by the Arab scholar Abbas Ibn Firnas in the 9th century, who attached wings and feathers to himself and reportedly flew some distance, and then returned to where he’d started (and seriously injured himself while landing).

Another man (or possibly the same man with a different spelling of his name — accounts differ), Armen Firman, may have made a similar attempt 20 years earlier, jumping from a tower with a cloak with wooden struts. He too was injured, though the cloak supposedly slowed his fall enough that it was not serious.

And keep in mind that while Icarus flew too close to the sun, his father, Daedalus, who built the wings and warned his son about the dangers of the sun, made it just fine in his flight off the island where they were both imprisoned.

In other words, the moral of the story isn’t what it’s often interpreted to be: “Don’t try bold, new things.” No, it’s, “Go ahead and try ‘em — just don’t be an arrogant jackass about it.”

Q: I have this memory of an exploitative, anti-D&D TV movie that came out in the 80s. What was it called and was it as bad as I remember? — Bruce, Colorado Springs, CO

A: CBS’ 1982 TV movie, Mazes and Monsters, starring none other than a 26-year-old Tom Hanks, is absolutely as bad as you remember: an anti-RPG screed that came at the height of the D&D hysteria that broke out in the late 1970s and 1980s.

Scenes from "Mazes and Monsters"

It was based on a 1981 novel that was itself based on news reports about a boy, James Dallas Egbert III, who attempted suicide in the utility tunnels under Michigan State University, then hid out with some friends for a month.

A private investigator hired by the parents speculated that James, who played D&D, had gone into the tunnels to play a “real-life” version of D&D and gotten lost. This was falsely reported by the media as true — and author Rona Jaffe irresponsibly rushed out a thinly disguised novel to capitalize on the notoriety of the story.

Even if the story had been true, it doesn’t, in any way, implicate D&D. Has no football player ever committed suicide?

Sadly, James successfully committed suicide the following year, and the private investigator, William Dear, wrote a 1984 book, The Dungeon Master, acknowledging that James’ death had to do with family dynamics and nothing to do with D&D.

Anyway, in the movie, Tom Hanks plays Robbie, a troubled college student who has previously become so obsessed with the fantasy role-playing game Mazes and Monsters that he had flunked out of school. He meets a group of equally troubled other students who encourage him to play the game again.

One of his friends decides to commit suicide in some local caves, but he changes his mind and decides to lead the others in a new game of Mazes and Monsters — a campaign that eventually causes Robbie to lose all touch with reality and want to jump off the World Trade Center.

The movie ends with him permanently lost his fantasy world — all due to the EVIL DANGERS of DUNGEONS & DRAGONS!

Wait, I mean Mazes and Monsters.

The movie, like the whole, ridiculous anti-RPG hysteria, did real damage to good people at the time.

But in a twist befitting the most expert DM, the film (available on DVD) is now considered a ridiculous camp classic, and none of the principles (except for Hanks) went on to do anything of note. Meanwhile, role-playing games and the genre of fantasy are more popular than ever.

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Three Torches (Out of Five)

There are two kinds of programs on the Sci Fi Channel: those like Battlestar Galactica that are better and more sophisticated than almost anything you’re going to see on the traditional networks, and those like Sanctuary that, while they may have a certain campy charm, simply don’t hold a candle to the more established network shows in terms of acting, production values, and, especially, writing.

Now that I think about it, Battlestar Galactica might be the only Sci Fi Channel show to fall into the former category. But definitely put Warehouse 13 in the latter.

The show isn’t a disaster. But given that it’s Sci Fi’s Big New Show — the one they’re rolling out with much fanfare on the day they’re changing their name to “The SyFy Channel” — it’s also a bit of a disappointment.

Pete and Myka, two seemingly down-on-their-luck Secret Service agents, are assigned to work a secretive facility in South Dakota, a warehouse where mysterious magical items and inventions are stored by the government. Artie, an eccentric caretaker (veteran character actor Saul Rubinek), tries to make sense of them all.

“It’s an invitation to endless wonder,” says Mrs. Frederick (CCH Pounder), the enigmatic woman who oversees the project.

Awkward hyperbole aside, it’s a great premise — part X-Files, part Indiana Jones.

What works in the show?

The producers have definitely gone the “Ken and Barbie” route in casting oh-so-pretty Eddie McClintock and Joanne Kelly as Secret Service Agents Pete and Myka, but the two have a nice, easy-going chemistry together.

Rubinek steals almost every scene as Artie, and Pounder is terrific (as usual) in a small, but effective part.

Likewise, the show really embraces its humor, which is a nice change after decades of earnestness and angst in similarly paranormal-themed shows like The X-Files, Fringe, and Supernatural.

What works less well?

Well, too much of the humor falls flat. A “wishing pot” creates a ferret whenever the holder wishes for something impossible? And compared to shows like The X-Files and Supernatural, Warehouse 13 has very little subtly and doesn’t miss a chance to dumb things it down.

Many of the items in the warehouse combine lousy science and with outright hokiness. A car built by Thomas Edison runs on body electricity (to the show’s credit, it’s the slowest-moving car ever created — but, weirdly, this isn’t played for laughs).

Artie keeps in contact with the agents with something called a “Farnsworth” — an awkward, bulky video communicator built in 1929 by the inventor of the television. But wouldn’t a cell phone adapted for use in Warehouse 13 be a whole lot easier?

It’s not just the humor that’s broad; the plots and characterizations are too. The central mystery in the two-hour premiere episode involves an ancient Italian comb that turns the wearer in a power-hungry despot and … well, let’s just say the episode won’t be winning any Peabody Awards.

(And can I just say? It seems bizarre to me that the show pairs an ultra-competent, “by the books” woman with an easy-going, rakish guy — a dynamic that already a cliche way back when The X-Files did it. Why make The X-Files comparisons even more inevitable?)

But this isn’t a show that was made to be seriously pondered. It was made to be fun.

And for the most part, it is.

Warehouse 13’s two-hour premiere movie airs Tuesday, July 7th at 9 PM. Future installments will air on Wednesdays at 9 PM. Check out their genuinely clever website here.