What an exciting ride this was!

Last week, we posted an article asking you, our beloved readers, to tell us which recent female fantasy character was the sexiest in your eyes.

Well, you certainly responded in droves — more than 4000 of you voted (and more than 140 of you commented!). Turns out everyone has an opinion on this issue!

And so, without an further suspense, we here at the offices of TheTorchOnline.com give you the winner of the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy 2010 Contest!!

Here she is …

The Dowager Duchess of Thrice

The Dowager Duchess of Thrice made waves throughout the world of fantasy when she appeared in just one episode of Legend of the Seeker, entitled “Princess.” A combination of soft, feminine noblewoman and coy, fan-waving sex kitten, she made all of our geeky hearts leap into our throats, and sent shockwaves throughout the Midlands.

And so we crown her the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy, 2010.

Oh, I’m just kidding. The actual winner is …

Kahlan Amnell

Since the very first episode of Legend of the Seeker, we were all given a special treat, and that treat was named Kahlan. Brought to life by the luminous actress Bridget Regan, Kahlan was a multi-faceted woman, one who shined with beauty and virtue, and yet was a brutal warrior from a similar mold to her predecessor, Xena.

Yet unlike Xena, Kahlan strode about not in armor but a beautiful, feminine white dress, and her most effective power in battle — “confessing” — essentially caused her opponent to fall helplessly in love with her. Of course, over time, we witnessed Kahlan becoming more and more a hardened warrior, even adopting a more aggressive leather costume, which I affectionately refer to as her “Star Trek hooker outfit.”

Throughout two seasons of adversity, Kahlan triumphed over baddies and her own hormones alike, as she couldn’t consummate her relationship with her true love, Richard, lest she inadvertently confess him. But with the final episode, we learn the purity of their love overcame her powers, and they can now be free to express their love however they see fit.

And what’s sexier than that?

But for those of you who have been following the poll, it should be noted Kahlan just eked out a win (literally one percent more votes) over the runner-up, who, interestingly enough, shared the stage with her for a whole season, and just her name invokes images of sexuality. (And leads me to believe we had a lot of Legend of the Seeker fans voting.)

Cara

From her first appearance in last year’s season finale, Cara, as played by the gorgeous Tabrett Bethell, was a force to be reckoned with. Seemingly taking inspiration from Catwoman, Star Trek’s Seven of Nine, and X-Men’s Mystique, Cara put her sexuality out there, while at the same time showed her true colors as a decent,  loving human being behind all the eye-rolling and sneering.

Other high-rankers in our poll include two characters from Spartacus: Blood and Sand — Lucy Lawless’ Lucretia (at 17%) and Katrina Law’s Mira (at 9%) — and an animated character, Dragon Age: Origins’ Morrigan (voice of Claudia Black), at 4%.

So there you have it, Torchlings. The results of the Sexiest Woman of Fantasy 2009-2010.

Be sure to come back later this week and vote for the sexiest male character!

Summer’s a great time, isn’t it? Gone are the long overcoats, the big fuzzy sweaters, and the scarves.

That’s right, people. It’s sexy time again.

Last year, we began what is now officially our annual tradition of the sexiest characters of fantasy. This year, we’re doin’ ya one better — we’re going to let YOU, our readers, decide for yourselves.

The guidelines are simple. One, we are judging characters for their sex appeal, not actors, so even if you happen to find Cate Blanchett the sexiest lady around, I think we can all agree that her turn as Galadriel didn’t exactly turn up the heat.

Two, we are specifically dealing with fantasy characters and not sci-fi, which means that Trinity, Aeon Flux, etc. are out of the running. Superheroes are okay, but we’re mostly going for high fantasy or urban fantasy, a la Legend of the Seeker, True Blood, and the like.

Three, we’re looking for recent entries into the world of fantasy. Basically, the character has to have appeared in an entertainment project released from 2009 to 2010.

And now that the rules are out of the way, here are our nominees. You can vote below!

Lucretia

Though Lucy Lawless will always be remembered for playing Xena, she still brings the sexy (and then some!) almost ten years later as the wickedly seductive Lucretia on Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Naevia

Speaking of Lucretia, most Spartacus fans first got a glimpse of the surprisingly plucky slave girl, Naevia, when she was essentially being used as a human sex toy to get her domina, Lucretia, going so she could have sex with her husband and not have to bother with all that pesky foreplay stuff. But who would have thought that she would  blossom into a strong-willed character of her own who catches not only the eye but the heart and soul of the toughest gladiator in the ludus, Crixus?

Mira

The last Spartacus entry on the list is another humble-at-first-then-proves-to-be-resourceful slave girl. Mira, who only appeared in about the last third of the season, managed to arouse the man himself, Spartacus, and almost make him forget his late wife. Now that’s a woman.

Kate Austin

Over the past few years, Lost became such a ridiculously complex torrent of red herrings (by which I mean, of course, that the writers had absolutely no idea what they were doing) that it almost made one forget how, in 2004, an unknown actress named Evangeline Lilly created the character of Kate who was tough, capable, and looked damn good in a tank top and baggy jeans. Though the show may have ended on a whimper, no one can deny that for six years, Kate looked damn sexy running around that island.

Jennifer

There’s classy sexy, and then there’s slutty sexy. Hey, I’m not judging. To each his own. Though she was more Mortal Kombat’s Baraka than prom queen, the titular heroine/villainess of Jennifer’s Body was certainly not lacking in the sexuality department … even if she was eating boys (literally).

Persephone

A few months back, I reviewed Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and I won’t split hairs — I did not like it. But near the end, just as I was about to nod off, was woken up a big jolt of sexy in the form of Rosario Dawson’s luscious death goddess, Persephone. If that’s what awaits us in the Underworld, kill me now.

Io

Clash of the Titans may have been a gods-awful flick, but at least it did take a few seconds away from the constant boss-fight-after-boss-fight to allow us to soak in the sexiness that was Gemma Arterton’s enigmatic Io. (Gemma Arterton fans? Careful you don’t split your votes by voting for Arterton’s Princess Tamina in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time!)

Neytiri

Go ahead. I dare you to tell me you didn’t feel a little stirring of something for some of the Na’vi when watching Avatar. No need to feel pervy for wanting to mack on blue monkey-cat people: their bodies were clearly designed to be lithe, sexy, and pleasurable to behold. And few were more behold-able than Neytiri, as performed by the delicious Zoe Saldana. (And lest you protest that Avatar was sci-fi, Pandora itself was clearly a fantasy setting, with its blue inhabitants, floating mountains, and soul transferring.)

Morrigan

What’s that, you say? Morrigan isn’t “real,” but is, instead, a character in the video game Dragon Age: Origin? Clearly, you have yet to play Dragon Age: Origin! When it comes to sexy sorceresses, we prefer ours with a “bad girl” vibe and more than a touch of ‘tude — which is Morrigan all the way. Plus, we have it on good authority that things get, uh, interesting if you “gift” her enough necklaces, amulets, and broaches!

Kahlan

Cara

Legend of the Seeker may have been unjustly canceled, but its characters will live on in our memories and imaginations forever. And while the plots and dialogue were fantastic, it certainly didn’t hurt that its two main female leads were so breathtaking to gaze upon. And so we give you the gorgeous Kahlan and Cara.

So there are our nominees. We also have a “none of the above” option for any glaring omissions, but be sure to add the name in our “comments,” below!

THE POLL IS NOW CLOSED! SEE THE RESULTS HERE

Tune in soon for the men!

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• Disney just moved the release date for Sorcerer’s Apprentice up a couple days, giving the film a Wednesday July 14^th opener. That’s generally a good sign about quality, but with Nic Cage, I’m not holding my breath.

• Buried in a story about the Warner Bros. investor meeting was a note about DC Comics movies under development. It’s not surprising that Flash is nearly greenlit for production, but what caught my eye is that Aquaman and finally, unbelievably, Wonder Woman were also under development. That’s right folks – they’re actively developing Wonder Woman for live action, big screen.

• Fresh on the heels of news that a walk-on “extra” role was up for auction on True Blood, they’ve also added another charity auction for two tickets to the red carpet premiere in Los Angeles.

• There is rumor of a Lost epilogue on the DVD set, centered around Hurley. There seems to be some skepticism. But I’ll let Michael Emerson say it, and see if you believe him.

• We’ve covered the dinosaur/time travel Steven Spielberg series Terra Nova before, and it was sent straight to series without a pilot being shot. Now it looks like they’re eyeing Alex Graves to direct, which seems an odd fit, as his most significant work was The West Wing.

• At the National Movie Awards in London, Twilight: New Moon picked up honors for Best Fantasy Film and Best Performance for Robert Pattinson. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince picked up a trophy for Best Family Film.

• Of these 9 Sizzling True Blood Spoilers, I’m most interested in what they’re doing with Lafayette’s life, because having read the books, that’s the one part I don’t know the basic outline for, since he’s supposed to be dead-dead, as opposed to undead, or alive, which I think is where he stands.

• Somehow in all the True Blood news, and there’s a mountain of it, I missed that they were bringing back Zeljko Ivanek as the Magister for this season. He was creepy and sinister when he had the fangs broken from one vampire, then forced Bill to create baby vamp Jessica.

• Sunday, June 6^th at 7pm, NBC will be airing The Making of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. The show promises a deeper look at the theme park attraction than we’ve seen before, going for full hyperbole with “exclusive cast commentary and a sneak peek at the authentic detail woven through the entire environment, as well as the ground-breaking technology that will forever change the theme park experience.”

• Buried in a depressing story about MGM’s future as a studio now being determined by hedge fund owners who don’t want to invest money in the studio is the frustration of Time Warner, who is stuck stalling production on The Hobbit until the debt holders figure it out.

• Travel company Tenerife polled 1,739 people about which fantasy world they would most like to vacation in. Topping the list is Pandora from Avatar, followed by Hogwarts, Narnia, Neverland, and El Dorado. Check them out for the rest of the list.

• Alice In Wonderland has become the sixth film to top $1 billion at the global box office. Interestingly, Johnny Depp has starred in two of the six, with Alice and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.

• Here are Six Things You Never Knew about Bridget Regan from Legend of the Seeker. I never would have guessed that she “sleeps like a dead cowboy.” Frankly, if your boyfriend tells you that, you might consider an upgrade.

• It’s official: Orlando Bloom is playing the bad guy in Three Musketeers. But I’ve become confused because his character is the Duke of Buckingham, which isn’t the story I remember. They’re describing his character as “so cool that you can chop him into cubes and serve with vodka.”

• I don’t really understand why people are upset with a new auction function on World of Warcraft, but a lot of people don’t like it. If you play the game, maybe this all means something to you.

• I hadn’t read the old official synopsis for Narnia’s Dawn Treader movie, but the people that had were worried that Disney may not have read the book before making the movie. They now have a new synopsis up for the film that has people breathing easier.

Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Tears” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

I can’t remember the quote exactly, but at one point during The Lord of the Rings, when hope seems lost and a victory in battle seems all but impossible, stoic King Theoden says something like, “If this truly is the end, let it be such an end.”

That pretty much sums up the season — and yes, probably series — finale of Legend of the Seeker.

That the show will probably not return for a third season is a tragedy, but after having viewed the season finale, shot before the powers that be had knowledge of this fact, I can gladly say that the episode “Tears” serves as a fitting and extremely satisfying series finale.

In a way, the episode serves as a microcosm of the entire series: they proudly display the incredible combat choreography that sets the show miles above most other action shows on television, a great deal of magic is used that never feels like a plot cheat, and while “Tears” incorporates a sizable handful of secondary and tertiary recurring characters, it never skimps on character moments for our four heroic leads, namely Zedd, Cara, Richard, and Kahlan.

Speaking purely as a fan and not a critic, one thing I’ve always appreciated about Legend of the Seeker is that while an abundance of magic is used as plot fodder, the writers always define exactly what the magical properties are, and exactly what a person, spell, or object can and cannot do. Therefore, with the crazy magical battles that occur in “Tears,” everything follows logic and no rules are broken.

Everything that happened with Nicci confessing Kahlan worked because of the rules they so carefully set up. That Zedd’s magic is useless against Mord-Sith is well established, and so the Mord-Sith were a true threat. The episode-opening spell on Dahlia worked given what we learned last week, and the Richard-saving Breath of Life that capped everything off resonated not only for its emotional payoff but because it made sense.

It’s easy to cheat as a writer when you’re working with magic, but the writers of Seeker never did, and I applaud them for it.

The plot of “Tears” is so complex I won’t even try to recap it for you, but suffice it to say that while betrayals and fireballs are flying fast and furious, the core of the show — our four heroes — keep the pace moving, even when Kahlan is under Nicci’s thrall. (And might I say, that was one of the several shocking moments of the episode. Who would have thought Kahlan, the Confessor, could ever be confessed?)

While we begin in the alternate reality that dominated the previous episode, much of the story takes place in the real world, as is befitting a series conclusion, and getting back the good Cara we’ve come to love was a moment of pure joy. Much of Seeker’s underlying arc is the love story of Richard and Kahlan, and for those shippers out there, this was the episode to put all your desires to rest.

I won’t lie — I was terrified the show would end on a cliffhanger, with a confessed Kahlan having killed Richard and the Keeper in possession of the Stone of Tears. Fortunately, such was not the case.

But I’ll tell you what I really loved. I loved that, in spite of the twist-heavy plot that had built by show’s end, they let the camera linger on Kahlan weeping over Richard’s dead body.

That was a moment that needed weight, and that’s what they gave us. With bodies littering the ground and a demonic adversary holding the key to their salvation, it’s Richard’s death and that alone that Kahlan can focus on. Because the writers had the confidence in their story to stay in that moment, we felt that sorrow with Kahlan.

In a way, they couldn’t have made a better series finale if they tried. It would seem somehow dishonest if the episode implied they would never have to face an enemy again, and the tiny scene with Darken Rahl resurrecting Nicci hinted at problems to come.

But that wasn’t the conclusion of the episode. The true ending was the revelation that the love shared between Kahlan and Richard was stronger than any dark magic they might ever face, and we end the show the way all good stories should end.

With a kiss.

Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Unbroken” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

You know what’s been missing in a high fantasy show like Legend of the Seeker? Alternate realities.

In the first part of Seeker’s season finale — and, most probably, series finale — we learn that Cara’s turn to the dark side wasn’t through your standard Mord’Sith brainwashing, but rather a heavy bit of black magic. Zedd works some serious mojo to undo the badness done to her, only to wind up in an alternate dimension where the events of last year’s season finale were altered slightly, in that Cara was not involved.

What ended up happening was the original plan succeeded, and Richard totally owned Darken Rahl using the powers of the Box of Orden. This brought about an era of piece in D’Hara in which Richard rules as a just Lord Rahl and married Kahlan. Yay! Happy ending! He even controls Darken Rahl and the Mord’Sith. Not bad, Mr. Cypher.

But of course that’s not to be. It turns out that the world really isn’t that much better off, because the Keeper, you see, exists outside space and time, and so is aware that the world has been changed.

I’m not sure if this is a plot cheat or not, because I’ve always been a little confused as to the extent of the Keeper’s power. But you know what? I’ll buy it, because the show hasn’t let me down yet.

The Keeper advises the Sisters of the Dark to murder Richard’s sister and use her blood to make them immune to the magic protecting the palace. They do, and remove the Box of Orden, stealing Richard’s power, and so he becomes helpless to Rahl’s rule.

Meanwhile, Zedd and Kahlan discover that the Cara in this reality is a kind, unassuming mother of two, who gets caught up in a brief, sweet love affair with none other than Leo, the one-time Seeker. But they decide the best thing to do is to try and reverse the spell, and so tie up this docile Cara against her will and begin the spell again. Unfortunately, the Mord’Sith tracked them there and kill Cara before the spell can be completed.

I’m seriously getting tired of seeing the gorgeous Tabrett Brethell get killed on screen.

This episode seems a fitting counterpart to last year’s season finale, which featured an alternate future in which Kahlan maried Darken Rahl. I like that the show can bend its formula for its season finales, shaking things up and putting the characters n new situations. Sure, it doesn’t have the heavy, intellectual gravitas of episodes like “Torn” and “Hunger,” but it does shed more light on its awesome mythology.

Even though we all know it wasn’t meant to last, it was so gratifying as a long-term fan to see that one moment of bed-oriented joy with Richard and Kahlan, especially when she tells him she’s pregnant. Even though it had only been days since they had consummated their relationship, Kahlan looks at him with a maternal glow, saying that a Confessor just knows. It was a beautiful moment, and it made my heart ache to think we may not see these two on screen together anymore.

All in all, this ep was a fantastic set-up for next week’s season finale. Cue the violins. This is one of my favorite shows on television right now, mostly because it’s so unique. If you have any more oopmh left, Save Our Seeker campaign, do it up. We here at the Torch have your back.

We’re all holding our breath for next week. This week was mostly set-up, which means that next week is going to be insane. I can’t wait.

Five Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Eternity” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Every episode makes my heart ache a little bit more for Legend of the Seeker. Imagine if Xena had been canceled just as it really hit its prime. Or Buffy. Think of the great episodes we would have been robbed of. That’s exactly what’s happening with Seeker, and with episodes the quality of “Eternity,” it’s a damn shame.

The addition of Cara to the main cast this year was a brilliant stroke, and Tabrett Brethell is a stunning actress to watch. I’ve become so fond of her that this episode was devastating, but the very thing that made it such a bitter pill to swallow is the same thing that made it amazing.

Cara’s evil again.

Probably. Possibly. Well, it certainly looks that way, but it’s possible there’s some deception going on.

This episode earned its five torches for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that it really went there in terms of making its characters suffer. Seeing Cara being tortured at the hands of Darken Rahl was agonizing, but it was so rewarding to see what a bad-ass she was for the most part — how strong she was, and how resistant to cracking under torment.

(And is it pervy to mention how sick her abs were? That is a lady who knows her way around a sit-up.)

Sure, the plot once again featured a scenario where it was absolutely essential that the main four split up (amazing how often that happens), but all is forgiven for the situations that provided. Richard and Kahlan head off to find the Stone of Tears, which has proven to be the most elusive rock in the history of the universe, while Zedd and Cara head off with Cara’s friend and fellow Mord-Sith, Dalia, to protect the son that none of us knew Cara had, who just happens to also be the son of Darken Rahl.

Wow, so that’s a lot of new information. Fear not, though — the son was a red herring, and was actually killed at birth. But before we learn this, we see that Cara and Dalia are way, way more than friends. While miles away, Richard and Kahlan are controlling their hormones, Cara and Dalia show no such restraint. As the next scene picks up, Cara and Dalia are getting dressed, and it occurred to me how far we’ve come in the ten years since Xena went off the air.

Xena was a show very much about the love between two women, but the show was always coy about their relationship and never committed to their love being romantic and sexual. As Cara helped strap Dalia into her leathers after a night of lovemaking, it was cool to see that progress has clearly been made.

Another landmark of this episode is that the Stone of Tears actually gets found, but there’s a devastating last-minute revelation that Darken’s torturing of Cara actually worked and turned her back into an evil minion, and she steals the Stone and returns it to Rahl.

They could not have set up the finale any better than this, with the enemy possessing not only their magical object but also one of their own whom they trusted with their lives.

I don’t want to see this show go, but if this truly is the end, it looks as though it will be a fitting, exciting finale.

Four and a half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the Extinction episode of Legend of the Seeker.

It’s a strange thing to review Legend of the Seeker now, a show that I’ve grown to love over the past two years, given what we all learned last week. Even if they aired one of their great comedy episodes, there would be an overlying sense of sorrow, as we know that each minute that ticks by is one less that we’ll have to spend with our heroes.

But the latest episode, “Extinction,” wasn’t a comedy episode. Rather, it was an ep with an exceeding amount of action and adventure, as well as some fantastic character moments, particularly for Darken Rahl and Cara.

Oh, what a fantastic villain is Craig Parker’s Darken Rahl. He was, of course, the big bad of Season One, and in this season has mostly been relegated to featured cameos. But as events hurtle towards the finale and the discovery of the Stone of Tears, Darken Rahl has been restored to life (in a different body … that looks exactly the same) and we’re all the better for it.

Last week, we learned that the Night Wisps, Kahlan’s Tinkerbell-esque buddies, are needed to decipher the instructions for how to use the Stone of Tears. But Darken Rahl also knows this, and sends his D’haran officers to burn down their forest home. This leads to a fantastic fight scene showcasing the rarely seen, utterly brutal side of Kahlan. We’ve seen her kick all sorts of ass over the series, but watching her rip the D’harans apart was something else.

Darken Rahl has saved one Wisp, however, which he uses as a bargaining tool — he wants to join their band and be the one to save the world. And here is one more example of the quality writing on Seeker: their main villain is coercing himself into their company … so he can save the world. But he is only doing that, we learn, to secure his place in Heaven.

Wait, what?

Celestial aspirations aside, this is a great twist on the old mustache-twirling villain who always acts in his own best interest, because the side effect is to everyone’s benefit. So do we want him to fail? Kinda. It’s complicated.

But the big example of the quality writing occurs late in the episode in a quiet moment between Darken and Richard, when it seems that Darken is once again at death’s door. He tells Richard that before Richard killed him, he killed himself years earlier, and made a deal with the Keeper: if he was allowed to live again, he would kill at least one person each day.

Darken Rahl was the world’s first Baneling.

That’s great writing, because not only does it bridge the first season with the second, it also makes you want to rewatch Season One armed with this knowledge. Bravo, Seeker writers.

The other great moment is also a quiet one between Cara and the one surviving Wisp, who gets her to admit that she loves Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd. Cara’s been such a great character this season, and when I think about how she started the season off, this moment had such emotional payoff. So much so that you can overlook the fact that it was really just Tabrett Bethell talking to her hand for three minutes.

I’m going to miss this show so much when it’s over. It’s the only true high fantasy show that I’m aware of on television right now, and its loss will leave a gaping hole. I know there’s a fan campaign that’s attempting to reverse this decision, and while I obviously hope it’s successful, the outlook is grim.

But on the bright side, we still have a small handful of new episodes left, and I, for one, am going to revel in them.

The search for the Stone of Tears may lead to actual weeping.

This has not been a good couple of years for fans of sci-fi and fantasy. Sadly, The Legend of the Seeker now joins Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Dollhouse in the ranks of shows that reached their second seasons only to be unjustly canceled just as they really started to work their mojo.

I’ll admit it — when I first saw ads for Seeker, I didn’t think I would like it that much. It looked so old school, with its Xena-esque costumes and firmly un-ironic dialogue. The Sword of Truth? A Wizard of the First Order? Surely the show wouldn’t be any good.

Man, did I eat my words after seeing the very first episode.

From the get go, Seeker knew exactly what it was doing at every turn, crafting excellent high fantasy plots with kick-ass action and small but delightful sprinklings of humor. The main cast — Craig Horner, Bridget Regan, Bruce Spence, and the superbly villainous Craig Parker — were top notch, and with the addition in the second season of the sublime Tabrett Bethell, the show hit a truly awesome streak.

One of the characteristics that made it stand out was its incredible fight choreography and cinematography. Rarely do combat scenes ever look this beautiful and brutal on the small screen, but Seeker brought cinema-worthy fights, from one-on-one duels to large-scale melees, with every single episode.

Legend of the Seeker has been a mainstay for us here at TheTorchOnline.com. Over the past two years we’ve reviewed most of the episodes, as well as conducted interviews with the producers and stars, including Craig Horner, Bridget Regan, and Tabrett Bethell, all of whom were gracious and charming. (And I learned, to my eternal delight, that Bridget Regan reads our reviews when she quoted something I had written about her costume!)

Last year, Horner’s Richard Cypher even made our list of the Top 7 Sexiest Men of Fantasy (and don’t be surprised to see more of the cast making the lists again this summer!) and the aforementioned fight scenes made our list of Best Magical Fights.

Though the show only had a third of the life of its predecessor Xena, it has delivered two full seasons’ worth of excellent episodes, and thanks to DVDs and the internet, the show will live on.

The adventures of Richard and company will not be forgotten any time soon by its legion of fans, and you can be sure we here at TheTorchOnline.com won’t forget them either. We still have the rest of this season to review — and the next episode looks awesome, with the newly-resurrected Darken Rahl — and who knows what retrospectives, lists, or other wacky articles the folks of the Midlands may find their way into?

One thing’s for sure. There may not be a new season of Seeker next fall, but its spirit will be kept alive.

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Four and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Walter” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

A couple of months ago, Legend of the Seeker aired an episode that featured two Kahlans, and the result was one of the best episodes of the season. This weekend, that went back to the body-double well, and guess what? Another home run!

Full disclosure: I was never a big fan of the Xena episodes that featured her lookalikes, which tended to be overly silly and campy, but not actually that funny.

But with “Walter,” the writers took the character who was least likely to be made into a comic relief — Darken Rahl — and somehow pulled it off beautifully, creating awesome moments for Craig Parker to shine while never once compromising how dangerous a character Rahl is.

I was really blown away by Parker in this episode. Not only did he deliver his usual fantastic portrayal of the most slithery villain this side of a Disney cartoon, he also created an entirely different character — with an utterly delightful American accent, by the way — who was hilarious. Seriously. I’ve always enjoyed Parker for his great roles in Seeker as well as Spartacus: Blood and Sand and Lord of the Rings, but the revelation that he his a gifted comic actor is pushing my admiration into serious man-crush territory.

This is one of those episodes that has tremendous rewatch appeal. Parker’s craft is so spot on that he even made the characters look different (when they were identical!) just by adding certain tics and gestures. Genius.

But lest you think this was a plot-light comedy episode a la “Princess,” oh, no! This was actually an incredibly important episode in that it features a number of occurrences that have a hefty effect on the plot, not least of which, obviously, is that Darken Rahl has returned to life. And even though it’s not technically his body, it looks exactly like him, so no worries.

I really enjoyed Walter’s story, and really dug the device of framing it as a tale being told between two men in a tavern. I liked that the writers felt confident in not bringing in our main heroes until almost halfway through the episode.

By this point, the audience has learned to trust in the storytelling ability of Seeker, and rightly so. It’s a show that keeps you guessing. I honestly didn’t know where the plot was going half the time, and doesn’t that seem all too rare these days?

As always, the show looked spectacular, with its awesome, expertly-choreographed fight scenes and CGI magic being cast all over the place.

It was cool to see Kahlan use her Confessor power again, even though it now almost always means whoever she confesses is sure to die before episode’s end.

The flashbacks to scenes that would have taken place during Season One were a nice way of linking this current season with the last, adding some enjoyable continuity into the show.

And I especially loved all of Walter’s impersonation scenes. Craig Parker had to play a nervous guy impersonating his own character, which is enough to make any actor cross-eyed, but as stated earlier, Parker is clearly the man. He made it look easy.

You go, Legend of the Seeker. You go.

Four Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Vengeance” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Now this is how you do a guest star episode!

After the less-than-impressive clip show that was the guest vehicle for Keisha Castle-Hughes, I was worried that the casting of John Rhys-Davies (Gimli in The Lord of the Rings) might be just another pointless guest star in a pointless episode.

Boy, was I wrong! Not only was Mr. Rhys-Davies used well, his character served as an integral plot point that affected the entire show. Not just the season, mind you, but the show.

It was cool to see Thaddicus again, as I really get a kick out of seeing Zeddicus in the frustrated-older-brother role, although this time that wasn’t done to comic effect at all, but rather to add to the drama.

But what really sold me about this episode was what I always enjoy the most about Seeker: when the writing goes in directions I don’t see coming. There was a lot of story told in flashback, which as a rule can be irritating but was done very smoothly here, and as a nice touch of continuity they used the same actor as the de-aged Zeddicus we saw in an earlier show.

I’m pretty much of the opinion that Craig Parker is the man, as he’s currently playing two slithery, nasty villains (Darken Rahl as well as Glaber on Spartacus: Blood and Sand) and manages to somehow make them completely different from each other.

This is an actor who understands nuance. Darken Rahl gets a lot of screen time here — not always an easy task when your character is dead — and he was so good in his psychological maneuvering of Thaddicus in an early scene that even I was convinced he was telling the truth … which, in a way, he was.

Which brings us to what made this episode truly stand out: the moral ambiguity of the two fathers in question, Panis Rahl (the father of Richard and Darken), and Zedd and Thaddicus’ dear old dad.

Both men acted in ways that could be considered vile while, in their heads, they were doing the right thing. Panis Rahl, as he admitted himself, became evil, though he did in fact attempt to atone for his sins.

John Rhys-Davies was magnificent in the role, bringing humanity and a quiet dignity to what could so easily have been a one-dimensional character in a lesser actor’s hands. The regular cast, as always, were superb, and this was a pivotal episode in the mythology of this season, as we feel ourselves pulling ever closer to the inevitable discovery of the Stone of Tears.

After a brief stumble, this show is back on track. Now that Spartacus has wrapped, this is the only real place we can go for fantasy entertainment, and fortunately they’re doing a fantastic job.

Three and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Desecrated” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

Hey, look, an evil wizard!

Okay, so that’s something we’ve definitely seen before on Legend of the Seeker. But, in all fairness, you know what they’ve been a little shy on? Mummies. Definitely a scarcity of mummies happening in the Midlands.

Well, that’s all rectified in the latest episode of Seeker, entitled “Desecrated.” I definitely dug the episode, certainly more than that abysmal clip show that preceded this one, but I have to say, I’m surprised this aired now, as opposed to making it a very special Halloween episode.

A mummy is one of the big ones, akin to werewolves and vampires in its “classic monster movie” status, so to have a mummy episode air in April feels a bit weird.

But you know what? I’ve learned to love this show, so I’ll go with it.

The plot is pretty much your standard Seeker Macguffin: a province that has been wracked with warfare against the D’Haran has utilized a lottery to pick men to add to their army. It is in this province where Richard and the gang celebrate his birthday, which unfortunately coincides with the time a vengeful wizard has decided to give the town its come-uppance.

This wizard teleports Cara and Kahlan into a tomb with limited air and demands that five men of the province who have escaped the lottery into the army (due to their wealthy and corrupt parents) be put to death, since his sons died fighting the D’Haran and these boys of privilege were spared that hardship.

Add to that the fact that this uppity sorcerer has also decided to unleash a mummy on the province and you’ve got yourself a fun hour of fantasy entertainment.

Okay, so we’ve got your standard comic book ethical dilemma — a supervillain is lashing out at the cruel world in which he lives, and innocents are paying the price, but he isn’t altogether in the wrong. So kudos to the Seeker team, which has on occasion created scenarios that are too easy to see in terms of black and white.

The only problem? It wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as it could have been.

I’ve gone on record plenty of times saying I really, really enjoy Legend of the Seeker. In fact, it’s grown into one of my favorite shows, and so I demand a lot of it. When it has a total triumph, such as the sublime Kahlan-centric body-doubling episode or the gripping Cara-as-a-Baneling show, I rejoice. When it has an epic fail, such as the clip show of two weeks ago, it gets me down.

When the show is good, it’s very, very good, but unfortunately “Desecrated” landed square in the middle. Neither good nor bad, it just kind of was, which in a show with the potential of Seeker is a real shame.

But why, you ask, if I’m hating on this ep so hardcore, does it get three and a half stars out of five?

The answer to that is an unexpected fourth-act scene involving Cara and Kahlan which has been literally sixteen episodes in the making. I’ve said many times that these two are the most fascinating characters in the show, far more interesting than the relatively easy-to-digest Richard and Zedd, and their relationship is one of the most complex on television.

They have every reason to hate each other, and that’s exactly how they felt when this season began. But over time, you began to see these two women begrudgingly admit their respect and admiration for each other, eventually culminating in … wait for it … an admission of friendship. In a review of an earlier episode I said that a friendship between them would be satisfying if, and only if, it had a season’s worth of adventures to grow. Now it has, and it’s a moment of true emotional resonance. Which, this being Seeker, is immediately followed by a violent smackdown.

All in all, “Desecrated” felt like it could have been so much more, although anything would be seen as an improvement when it follows “Creator.” But I have faith in the show, and am looking forward to it getting back on track.

Two and a Half Torches (Out of Five)

Warning: The following review contains spoilers for the “Creator” episode of Legend of the Seeker.

So … here’s something weird.

There was a big hullabaloo on the internets this past week as we learned that Oscar nominee Keisha Castle-Hughes, of the Whale Movie and the Jesus Movie fame, was going to appear on Legend of the Seeker as none other than the Creator … also known, more colloquially, as God.

That actually got me amped up. I’ve grown to love Seeker, and when it’s good, it’s really, really good. So imagine my surprise and disappointment upon realizing that the Creator, the ultimate deity of this universe, features in what is essentially a standard clip show.

There was a fascinating story buried in there, one about a girl who was told by her insane mother that she must bear the Jesus-like existence of being God born into a human body with all of its frailties, and who is then taken in by the equally nutty Sisters of the Light who brainwash her into believing this lie and endow her with far more power than any one human should ever wield. She’s not God at all; just the end result of a fanatical mother and a magical cult.

Unfortunately, this story is explained amidst an incredibly drawn-out trial, in which this false Creator accuses Richard of being a servant of the Keeper. Every moment they mention is a mere introduction to a clip of a previous episode, which had to amount to at least a quarter of the entire running time, which for someone who’s seen every episode was immensely annoying.

Though none of what the Creator, whose real name is Maia, says is remotely convincing, she does cause Richard to at one point question whether or not he may actually be a servant of the Keeper and not even know it. Maybe the clips helped get her point across.

The story didn’t build to a climax so much as it just kind of ended, with the Keeper attempting to open a rift beneath our heroes’ very feet, and the Creator using up all of her power to close it. And then she’s gone, and instead of a satisfying conclusion where we empathize with this girl who’s been through hell, we’re left with a frustrating denouement in which Kahlan ponders that maybe she was the real Creator after all.

The good:

Though the overall writing felt lazy (clip show!), the dialogue itself was well-written. The cast consistently proves that they have the kind of chemistry that make other team-oriented genre shows like Buffy and Torchwood so memorable, and all four leads have created characters that you care about, enjoy spending time with, and would like to see succeed.

Keisha Castle-Hughes was excellent in her role, certainly not an easy or forgiving task when you’re playing, you know, God.

And as always, the show looked fantastic. The scenery is lush and gorgeous, the costumes are pitch-perfect, and the action, limited as it was in this episode, is all you can ask for in bad-assery.

The bad:

A clip show, man. A clip show.