Back again for another highly opinionated — some might even say downright cranky — look at the week in fantasy. You’ve been warned!
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET THE GAY ELF TO HAVE SEX WITH ME?
So over the Christmas holiday, I did almost nothing except read books and play Dragon Age Origins.
Nutshell review: the graphics are good, if not any great leap forward, but the game itself, especially the story and the interacting with the characters, is amazing.
Anyway, I confess, after we reported that the game included a possible same-sex love-making scene with the assassin elf Zevran, I was determined to get him into the sack.
It’s not as easy as you’d think!
All week, I plied Zevran with “gifts” (part of the game, designed to improve your “approval points” with a character), and just when I think I’m really getting somewhere, I say the wrong thing to him, causing me to lose all kinds of approval points!
Needless to say, I’m getting nowhere.
I’m having better luck at the Pearl, the brothel in Denerim. But hey, that’s a damn brothel!
But does that say about me? I can only get someone into bed if I pay them?!
FYI, here’s the NSFW scene that I’ll apparently never see in real game-life:
WHAT’S THAT? YOU WANT PREVIEW PICS AND CLIPS?
Making the circulation through cyberspace this week is a new pic of Johnny Depp from the upcoming Alice in Wonderland. I’ve seen pics of Depp’s character before, and I gotta say: it’s really good make-up, but it looks like make-up. I wonder if it’ll be this distracting in the movie itself…
Next we’ve got the first pic from Your Royal Highness (a upcoming fantasy-comedy starring Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel). The cast here is great, but when it comes to fantasy-comedy, I confess I can’t quite get the bad taste of Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire (and the equally lackluster The Color of Magic) out of my mouth:
And finally, here’s a scene (not a preview) from Legion, the upcoming “angel wars” actioner. Looks … action-y.
REALLY, REALLY COOL FAKE BUGS!
Check out these cool fake bugs from Fly Films, a company that makes insects, for both fishermen and for the movies like Cirque du Freak and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
None of these are real:
Their website here.
THE IDIOT BOX
Most shows are back from the holiday hiatus, with, on Friday, new episodes of Ghost Whisperer (8 PM, CBS), Dollhouse (8 PM, Fox), Medium (9 PM, CBS) and Sanctuary (10 PM, SyFy).
This weekend, there’s finally a new episode of Legend of the Seeker (syndicated, check local listings). Here’s the preview:
You thought Battlestar Galatica was dead and gone? Nah, Sunday sees a special two-hour movie, “The Plan” (previously available only on DVD and download), which is sort of a “prequel,” showing the destruction of the Twelve Colonies by the Cylons and filling in some of the events of the first couple of seasons. I haven’t seen it yet, but it sounds really cool. (SyFy, 9 PM)
On Monday, along with a new Heroes (in a new time-slot, NBC, 9 PM), check out a “special” episode of Fringe (Fox, 9 PM), “Unearthed,” and the network is teasing us with this riddle: “Is it an unaired episode from Season One or is it from an alternate universe?” Methinks they’re also checking out a new time-slot, but hey, I love a good gimmick, so I’m so there.
Fringe-lovers can find another new episode on Thursday (Fox, 9 PM), but alas, there’s no new Vampire Diaries or Supernatural that night.
THE BOX OFFICE
Remember when December used to bring only “serious” films seeking Oscar buzz? This year’s December flood of genre and fantasy films proves those days are looooong in the past (which is a fine thing, at least as long as the movies are good like Avatar or at least interesting like The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, and not el crapola, like Transformers: Rise of the Machines or Year One).
This weekend’s fantasy-esque offering is Daybreakers, which is getting mixed-to-decent reviews, but that I think might suffer by coming on the tail end of a vampire glut. We’ll review if I can manage to pull myself away from Dragon Age Origins (which means we probably won’t review it!).
Well, this week’s flame has sputtered out, but join me again next week when I promise I won’t be nearly so cranky.
Oh, who am I kidding?!
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Best of luck in your mighty quest to shag Zevran!
As for Your Royal Highness - James Franco, Natalie Portman, and Zooey Deschanel. How can they go wrong? Yes, Franco is currently appearing on a soap opera. And yes, Deschanel was in that horrible film with Marky Mark whatever it was called (The Happening?). But Portman is perfection personified. If Portman signed on, then it must be good (or she’s just crushing on Franco - but who isn’t crushing on Franco).
Yay! New LOTS. Although, I had hoped that Richard being constantly clothed this season was due to Craig Horner getting fat (which would make me feel better since he’s so very pretty in his llama like way), but it appears this episode will prove that he is just as toned as he was in the first season. No wonder Cara and Denna appear to be fighting over the opportunity to shag him in the preview.
Cool bugs.
I agree about Johnny Depp’s make-up. The whole movie has me worried. Too much “Tim Burton.”
I can’t decide of SyFy is milking the whole Galactica thing, with this new movie and “Caprica,” or if they’re brilliant visionaries.
If you look at the Youtube clip, it tells you what to say to get Zevran in bed. As for Galactica, the Basestar has been jumped. The Plan was bad, and its only saving grace the visuals in the first fifteen minutes and the end.
Plus the Hybrid’s lines during the attack on the Colonies.
Well, yes, but before you get those dialogue options, you need to get your approval points to a certain place…which I haven’t done, apparently.
My friend, KillerMindMeld, on Xbox said there is more than on guy to sleep with in Dragon Age. Maybe the elf isn’t that into you. You could always try the black smith.
Is it only me or is LotS not that good this season. Maybe I just don’t like Richard’s long hair.
If this is a repost, sorry.
I’ve been trying to seduce Alistair with my male elf rogue–no luck so far. I wasn’t really expecting any, but I figured I’d try.
Yeah, apparently he doesn’t swing that way…
Lucy Lawless is the guest on NPR’s “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” quiz show this Saturday.
Oh that should be good. She’s got a wicked sense of humor!
Damn that unshaggable elf!
I think you actually have to act a bit \”evil\” to get Zevran (the gay elf) to like you more. If you are a good two-shoes his approval points towards you will drop. I actually find Zevran kind of repulsive, but I did manage to get him to sleep with me going that route and also giving him lots of gifts (he really likes gold/silver bars if you can find any of them). Now he \”loves\” me but I still think he is icky. Not complaining, though, because this is a HUGE breakthrough for gaming. Just wish Alistair was the one who was an option for me…
I had a big crush on Alistair the first time through the game and so I actually (gulp) killed Zevran when I first met him thinking it would make Alistair like me more, only to find later on that Alistair was just not that into me.
I only found one other guy my male character could sleep with - and then only in the Human Noble origin. But that one is actually quite interesting (and dramatic) because it launches the whole main story so I won\’t spoil it if you haven\’t done it yet.
Oh, you have to at least tell me who the character is?
His name is Dairren. If I remember correctly, he is the son of a visiting noble. You meet him (and his sister) when your mother introduces you to them the first time the game introduces your mother. After that initial conversation, Dairren can be found elsewhere in the caste (the study?) and if you talk to him and play your cards just right…