You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout. Or he will come and devour your flesh!!!!!
Did you know that Santa Claus travels with an unholy hell-spawn? Well, now you do.
In some parts of the world, there is another tradition that accompanies the legend of Santa Claus, that saintly elf who travels the world giving gifts to children who have been nice and coal to those who’ve been naughty. According to some old-school myths originating in Germany and Austria, Santa had a buddy. And it wasn’t Rudolph.
Say hello to Krampus, who according to custom hitches a ride on Kris Kringle’s sleigh to dole out some seriously bad tidings. While St. Nick gets the task of handing out baubles to cherubic tots, it’s Krampus’ lot to bestow punishment, beatings, and the like to children who misbehave. Krampus’ weapon of choice was a birch rod, which is basically just a big stick used for whipping.
And if that picture doesn’t creep you out, nothing will.
Obviously, it’s the kind of freak-tastic story meant to inspire fear in kids and make them play nice, so they’ll get to deal with Santa and not Krampus come December the 25th. But as our age is indeed an age of irony, Krampus has taken on a new pop-culture identity in parts of Europe with the re-emergence of Krampustag, which basically consists of drunken hooligans dressing up as Krampuses and running amok, whipping pedestrians they pass on the street. Please, God, do not let any fraternities hear about this tradition, or college campuses across the nation will turn into college Krampuses.
This was a popular pastime in the 1800s, when the onset of winter meant fewer hours of work for farmers, and thus they had a little time on their hands. Soon, however, church leaders grew uncomfortable with this ritual, which veered rather closely towards older pagan ceremonies, and so they ended it. But alas, it seems everything old is still new again.
It turns out that the power of Krampus is so mighty, not even cartoons are safe:
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Great read thanks for the post!
then the Krampus slithered into my bedroom and got a mouth full of .38
Thanks for posting this, lifted my day.
Man, I love The Venture Brothers!
I’m afraid I have to correct you a little bit:
originally, there was no Santa Clause in Germany and Austria. Only because of the globalizing world you see more and more Santa Clauses here.
Traditionally, the Christkind gives the gifts on Christmas Eve, the 24th, not on the 25th.
Krampus or Knecht Ruprecht, how he’s called in most parts of Germany, acompany Saint Nicholas, who shows up on December 5th or 6th.
Please, just check Wikipedia or Google before you write about German traditions. Or read this article:
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/general/091204/austria-santa-claus-christkind-protest
Astrid from Germany
Point well taken. For the purposes of this article, I used Santa Claus and St. Nicholas interchangeably, as we often refer to Santa Claus as “St. Nick.”