To begin this article, we’re going to need a highly academic image to use as a launching pad.
Go ahead and stare. She’s used to it.
The female warrior in the metal or armored bikini is a pretty common sight in the world of fantasy art. In fact, it’s sometimes difficult to find a female warrior who isn’t wearing one.
But adolescent male fantasies aside, did women ever really wear metal bras and G-strings? Or is it purely a convention of fiction? After all, the actual armoring properties of a chain mail bikini would seem, um, negligible.
To begin with, let’s take a look at the origin of that crazy thing called underwear. How did it start?
The first undergarment known to humankind was the loincloth, which is a strip of cloth tied around the waist and under the legs, used for cleanliness and (for guys) support. In warmer climates like Greece and Egypt, underwear was often eschewed altogether, though in “civilized” Rome, that was unthinkable.
As far as history can tell, those loincloths were never made out of metal. Which, I think we can all agree, is probably the best for all those involved.
But that’s the bottom. What about the top?
While female athletes as far back as the Minoan era (seventh century BC) used cloth tied around the chest to restrain their breasts, the shape of the garment we today call a brassiere didn’t emerge until the 19th century.
So where did this idea of the metal bikini pop up? The answer may be disappointing, but it isn’t surprising.
Metal bikinis emerged from that dark, dank, scary place known as the male psyche, well-known for enjoying bodily functions, inventing new ways to be violent, and sexually objectifying women as a means to make them less intimidating. The metal bikini is not a particularly sophisticated image, as it’s really just a form of semi-nudity, but what is interesting, aesthetically, is the juxtaposition of the hard, masculine metal with the soft, feminine curves of a woman’s body.
That dichotomy has titillated men for centuries, and there’s no sign of it slowing down any time soon.
When I was in my single-digits growing up in the 80’s, arcade culture was all the rage, and my two favorite video games were Gauntlet and, later, Golden Axe. Both of these video games featured playable female characters dressed in metal bikinis. (It should be noted that graphics were not what they are today, so most of my understanding of what the characters looked like came from the artwork printed on the actual arcade game.) In their defense, however, they also each featured a similarly scantily-clad male warrior who, interestingly enough, was clothed not in metal but in fur briefs, a la He-Man, thus contrasting the hard, muscular male body with the gentle softness of animal fur. Seems opposites are the way to go.
One final note: historians did find evidence that Viking women at one point wore metallic coverings over their breasts, but they were on the outside of their clothing, so no skin was showing. I have a picture, but first I want you to look at the two pictures above again.
Give ‘em a good look. Go ahead.
Red Sonya and Princess Leia. They got it goin’ on, right?
Have you memorized their every sensuous curve, every pout?
Yeah?
Good, okay, here’s what the Viking women really looked like:
You’re welcome.
![[Bloglines]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/bloglines.png)
![[Digg]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Fark]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/fark.png)
![[Google]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[Squidoo]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/squidoo.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Windows Live]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/windowslive.png)
![[Yahoo!]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/yahoo.png)
![[Email]](http://thetorchonline.com/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
Awww, thanks for that last part, I laughed hard. Just the perfect way to end the story, “You’re welcome” tied it up so nicely after that photo. Interesting bit too, I always figured this just rose up from male fantasies, but to point out the opposing aesthetics set up was something I hadn’t really thought of.
Cool article.
After six seasons of generally decent, warrior-like and not so exploitive costumes on “Xena: Warrior Princess”, I was VERY disappointed to see Xena rock the “metal bikini” look in the series finale (”Friend in Need”). Especially when worn with thigh-high red leather/suede boots. Classy!
That typed, I far prefer Xena’s “Valkyrie” costume over the real-world version pictured above.
I think most people would agree with ya there, buddy.
Can I just say that I wince a little everytime I imagine what wearing a chainmail bikini would really be like? Never mind the ability to control every man around you by virtual of reducing them to drooling schoolboys, just think of the *chafing*. Men had to wear padding underneath their armour, and it wasn’t just because it was heavy.
It’s all in fun though, right? Right?
They never did look that convincing… and Sonya in that top picture is about to slip out owing to her right cup having about half the, erm, coverage of the left. Not very practical for fighting in.